Passed Up Strange

The Yeas

2012-02-18T05:43:00.000-06:00

Here are the 293 House ~~members~~ asshats that voted to extend the payroll tax-cut extension:

(Republicans in roman; Democrats in italic; Independents underlined)

Alexander, Altmire, Amodei, Andrews, Austria, Baca, Baldwin, Barletta, Barrow, Bartlett, Bass (CA), Bass (NH), Becerra, Benishek, Berg, Berkley, Berman, Biggert, Bilbray, Bilirakis, Bishop (GA), Bishop , (NY), Blumenauer, Bonamici, Boren, Boswell, Brady (PA), Brady (TX), Braley (IA), Buchanan, Bucshon, Butterfield, Calvert, Camp, Canseco, Cantor, Capito, Capps, Carnahan, Carney, Carson (IN), Castor(FL), Chandler, Chu, Cicilline, Clarke (MI), Clyburn, Coble, Coffman (CO), Cohen, Cole, Conaway, Conyers, Costa, Courtney, Cravaack, Crawford, Crenshaw, Critz, Crowley, Cuellar, Culberson, Davis (CA), Davis (KY), DeGette, DeLauro, Denham, Dent, Deutch, Diaz-Balart, Dicks, Dingell, Doggett, Dold, Donnelly (IN), Doyle, Dreier, Duffy, Ellmers, Emerson, Engel, Eshoo, Fattah, Fincher, Fitzpatrick, Fleischmann, Flores, Frank (MA), Frelinghuysen, Garamendi, Gerlach, Gibbs, Gibson, Gonzalez, Green, Al, Green, Gene, Griffin (AR), Grijalva, Grimm, Guinta, Guthrie, Hahn, Hanabusa, Hanna, Harper, Hartzler, Hastings (WA), Hayworth, Heck, Heinrich, Hensarling, Herger, Herrera Beutler, Higgins, Himes, Hinchey, Hinojosa, Hirono, Hochul, Holden, Holt, Honda, Huelskamp, Huizenga (MI), Hultgren, Hunter, Hurt, Inslee, Israel, Issa, Jackson (IL), Jackson Lee (TX), Jenkins, Johnson (OH), Johnson, Sam, Jones, Kaptur, Keating, Kelly, Kildee, King (NY), Kinzinger (IL), Kissell, Kline, Kucinich, Lance, Langevin, Larsen (WA), Larson (CT), Latham, LaTourette, Latta, Levin, Lewis (CA), Lewis (GA), Lipinski, LoBiondo, Loebsack, Lofgren, Zoe, Long, Lowey, Lucas, Luetkemeyer, Luján, Lungren, Daniel , E., Mack, Maloney, Manzullo, Marchant, Marino, Markey, Matheson, Matsui, McCarthy (CA), McCarthy (NY), McCaul, McCollum, McGovern, McHenry, McIntyre, McKeon, McMorris Rodgers, McNerney, Meehan, Meeks, Michaud, Miller (MI), Miller (NC), Miller, Gary, Miller, George, Moore, Murphy (CT), Murphy (PA), Myrick, Nadler, Napolitano, Neal, Nunes, Nunnelee, Olver, Owens, Palazzo, Pallone, Pascrell, Pastor (AZ), Paulsen, Pelosi, Pence, Perlmutter, Peters, Pitts, Platts, Polis, Price (GA), Price (NC), Quigley, Rahall, Reed, Rehberg, Reichert, Renacci, Ribble, Richardson, Richmond, Rigell, Rivera, Rogers (KY), Rogers (MI), Rooney, Ros-Lehtinen, Roskam, Ross (AR), Rothman (NJ), Roybal-Allard, Runyan, Ruppersberger, Rush, Sánchez, Linda T., Sanchez, Loretta, Scalise, Schakowsky, Schiff, Schilling, Schock, Schwartz, Schweikert, Scott (SC), Scott, David, Serrano, Sewell, Sherman, Shimkus, Shuster, Sires, Slaughter, Smith (NE), Smith (NJ), Smith (TX), Southerland, Speier, Stark, Stearns, Stivers, Stutzman, Sutton, Thompson (MS), Thompson (PA), Tiberi, Tierney, Tipton, Tonko, Towns, Tsongas, Turner (NY), Turner (OH), Upton, Velázquez, Walden, Walsh (IL), Walz(MN), Wasserman Schultz, Waters, Watt, Waxman, Webster, Westmoreland, Wittman, Womack, Yarmuth, Yoder, Young (AK), Young (FL), Young (IN)

Here are the 60 Senators:

Akaka (D-HI)
Ayotte (R-NH)
Baucus (D-MT)
Begich (D-AK)
Bennet (D-CO)
Blumenthal (D-CT)
Boxer (D-CA)
Brown (D-OH)
Brown (R-MA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Carper (D-DE)
Casey (D-PA)
Cochran (R-MS)
Collins (R-ME)
Conrad (D-ND)
Coons (D-DE)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Franken (D-MN)
Gillibrand (D-NY)

Graham (R-SC)
Grassley (R-IA)
Hagan (D-NC)
Heller (R-NV)
Hoeven (R-ND)
Inouye (D-HI)
Johnson (D-SD)
Kerry (D-MA)
Klobuchar (D-MN)
Kohl (D-WI)
Landrieu (D-LA)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (ID-CT)
Lugar (R-IN)
McCaskill (D-MO)
McConnell (R-KY)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Merkley (D-OR)

Murkowski (R-AK)
Murray (D-WA)
Nelson (D-FL)
Nelson (D-NE)
Pryor (D-AR)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Rockefeller (D-WV)
Rubio (R-FL)
Schumer (D-NY)
Shaheen (D-NH)
Snowe (R-ME)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Tester (D-MT)
Udall (D-CO)
Udall (D-NM)
Webb (D-VA)
Whitehouse (D-RI)
Wicker (R-MS)
Wyden (D-OR)

For those keeping track, those votes were for a $143 BILLION package that is unfunded.

If you see one of your representatives on this list, and they are up for reelection, I suggest voting their ass out of office.

Target as Big Brother

2012-02-17T21:27:00.000-06:00

Target's bullseye logo is on our backs.

This is too scary to summarize, you need to go read the whole thing.

If I ever have to shop at Target again, which I vow to avoid, I will be paying cash. Data mining, stalking creeps.

Parenting lamentations

2012-02-17T09:27:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have those days/weeks/months that make you wonder where the hell you went wrong as a parent? This week has been a doozy in the parenting department.

Crash. Well, Crash is four. He is the revenge child. You know, the one that my mom warned would come. The one that will give back everything I gave to my parents, and then some. Crash can wing a Hot Wheels car at about 92 mph. At the back of my head. While I am driving. Yes, I have searched his scalp for the mark of the beast. It is clear, so now I blame his dad's genes.

The Princess is a dramatic, attention-grabbing presence at home. At school she tends to be dangerously passive. Yesterday, she reported to an after-school activity that, unbeknownst to her and a few others, had been cancelled. Did she call me, seek an adult for help, find her big brother? No. She sat outside to wait it out for 45 minutes until her regularly scheduled pick up time. Sure, I place a little blame on the school for not being more proactive in making sure everyone got the word about the cancellation and not questioning why a third grader was sitting alone outside for nearly an hour. But, sheesh, haven't I done a good enough job teaching her what she should do in situations like that?

Let's not overlook the fact that a substitute teacher did notice her, and waited with her the last few minutes - never knowing the whole story and, instead, gave me the stink-eye, assuming I was just extremely late in picking up my kids. Nothing like a little undeserved humiliation thrown in.

Bang is literal. Infuriatingly literal. He can't move past this point right here and now and think ahead. 'How many words is your research paper supposed to be?' I asked.

'I don't know, I could check.'

Twelve hours later, getting ready to leave for school, 'Bang, write a note to yourself in your planner to find out how many words your research paper is supposed to be,' I say.

'Okay, but it is probably in the packet I have in my room.'

*Blink, blink*

'I thought you said you didn't know how many words and you would have to check?' I say.

'Yeah, I don't know. I meant I would have to check in the packet in my room.'

OMG, give me a break, kid. I don't have room in my brain to try to remember all the things you need to remember to do.

And Boom. Christ, where have I failed with this one? Five months short of 18. Three months from graduation. Major project she could have done over the summer, still working. That little driver's license and car thing, couldn't care less. Investigative research paper assigned before Christmas and due next week? She'll get to it this weekend. Two-year record of community service and volunteer work in blog form for IB diploma? She says she'll do it over spring break.

She wanted to wait until she got her braces off to have her senior pictures taken. The braces came off the week after Christmas. My conditions before scheduling the photographer were simple: figure out what sort of outfits you want to wear and if there needs to be any shopping done and decide your hair and let me know what to schedule at the salon. I got nothing. No plans, no appointments, no pictures. I have requests for photos for the senior banquet slide show. I need to have graduation announcements printed. I am tempted to use an assortment of naked-in-the-bathtub-with-my-brother and middle school yearbook photos. Deadlines are well before anything could be booked with a professional photographer. Does she care that she is missing these high school experiences? Apparently not. I guess I need to quit caring too.

She has no social life. It isn't like she is out partying or hanging out with friends. I think that drives me nuts just as much as the procrastination. There is so little to restrict her from, that there is no incentive for her to get things done. Except for prom.

So there is my parenting failure to cap off the week. I let everything get to the point that I have told Boom she can't go to her prom if she doesn't get the school work done. Actually, knowing that she thinks March 31st is light-years away and she has plenty of time, I told her that she couldn't even go dress shopping until the work was done. That gives her, oh, to about this Sunday to get her work done, if she hopes to find anything remotely pretty, appropriate and correctly-sized.

I know that some people would be thankful for my problems and I am not ungrateful that my kids are healthy, mostly happy and smart. I really don't think I have been unreasonable, and I know they are capable of doing everything that I ask of them, which brings me back to the conclusion that this is all a failure in my parenting abilities.

Now is where you all tell me this is normal...

Shoulda clicked 'ignore'

2012-02-16T22:30:00.000-06:00

I just clicked send on an email to my kid's principal, right as I realized that I agreed to let spell check change his name to 'Calzone'. His last name is not supposed to be an Italian entree.

You would have thought I would be more careful, as I had just sent another email to a teacher at the school whose name is remarkably similar to 'stroganoff' and made sure that spell check left it alone.

Walmart hates old people

2012-02-16T05:28:00.004-06:00

I don't know about your neighborhood Wally World, but at mine, there is a long-serving contingent of retirement age people that greet shoppers, inspect returns and dole out stickers to the kiddos. Wal-Mart has decided that they don't need that job position anymore.

Walmart announced it's no longer staffing the greeters at its front doors. The workers are being moved deeper into the stores to help shoppers find what they're looking for.

But, but...who will put the little stickers on the return items? Who will jump in front of the carts when the security system goes off? Who will demand to see receipts for items that aren't in bags?

At my neighborhood Wally World, many of the greeters are allowed to sit at their post. Some of their physical conditions would prohibit them doing a job that requires being on their feet much.

Company officials will still try to accommodate workers who have physical difficulties with tasks, Hardie said.

Hmmm. They will 'try' to accommodate. Why not phase out greeters by attrition? No offense, but it isn't that much of a long term strategy. Instead, the old and infirm will be forced to shuffle around the store, trying to help people.

I got news, I know where every item in Walmart is. I know when they re-arrange. This innate knowledge must show, because people stop me all the time and ask where stuff is at Walmart. I got answers. On the rare occasion that something has been moved or I am looking for something new and I have asked about it - Walmart employees have never been helpful.

I take that back. At Christmas we were looking for a particular candy, Christmas shaped Milky Way bars. They had the Snicker's Santas and the Russell Stover marshmallow trees, but Bang had a Secret Santa gift to buy and he wanted Milky Ways. Boom was shopping with us and caught the attention of a (young, cute, male) employee who went out of his way to go in the back and talk to the candy rep that happened to be in the store that day, to find out about the Milky Ways. But that is one time out of 50 and Boom gets the flirting credit.

Why is Walmart eliminating the one job position in the store that so easily accommodated older people and those with disabilities that require them to sit?

Watch out, seniors! The sewing counter, paint department and dressing room positions will be next. They are coming for the old folks. Who needs medical insurance death panels for the elderly when America's largest employer is going to kick them to the curb?

Food Fight

2012-02-15T05:19:00.003-06:00

CenTexTim posted about this last night, so I am a little late to the game.

I am nearing the end of my thirteenth year as a parent of school aged children. I have known the great and the horrible, the people that had no business being in education (and its administration) and I have known people so gifted at what they do that their touch is still evident upon my child.

There are school policies that are ridiculous, overreaching, nonsensical. Not all of those battles are worth fighting. My children's school has some restrictions on the content of lunches. They can't trade, they can't have carbonated beverages, they can't have deep fried fast food items. None of those rules are strictly enforced and many are never enforced. Most are for the little kids because teachers don't want to deal with caffeine and sugar highs. By 8th or 9th grade, the teachers don't care what they eat or drink, as long as they can stay awake in class.

So help me God, if any person ever inspected my child's lunch from home and passed judgement on it, as they did in this case, I would come unhinged. It wouldn't be about whether or not to fight the battle, it would be a full on war, and my kids would only be in the situation once, I guarandamntee it.

A mother in Hoke County complains her daughter was forced to eat a school lunch because a government inspector determined her home-made lunch did not meet nutrition requirements. In fact, all of the students in the NC Pre-K program classroom at West Hoke Elementary School in Raeford had to accept a school lunch in addition to their lunches brought from home.

And what horrifically deficient meal did she send her kid to school with?

a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, apple juice and potato chips

Gasp! Her crime, in the inspector's eyes? No vegetable. What are potato chips made from?

In the accompanying story, Mom explains that her daughter, like many 4-year olds, doesn't like vegetables. They pull a con job or threaten early bedtimes to get her to eat them at home. Mom points out that without a parent standing over her, she won't eat vegetables, so she doesn't put them in her lunch to have them be thrown away.

Mom also explains that the teachers routinely make her child add a milk to her lunch from home, because her lunch lacks a dairy item. Um, what is it that cheese is made from?

Actually, forget my freaking questions about potatoes and cheese. IT IS NONE OF THE GOVERNMENT'S GODDAMN BUSINESS WHAT IS IN MY KID'S LUNCH.

While I am at it, IT IS NONE OF THE GOVERNMENT'S GODDAMN BUSINESS...

what my kids eat
how their food is prepared
what my kids weigh
what language they speak at home
how many hours of TV they watch
how they score on a test
what kind of light bulbs are in their desk lamp
if they have insurance

Stay the hell out of my family's business.

More Vday Fun

2012-02-14T23:23:00.000-06:00

This was in my inbox. Better late than never, and these cards are funny:

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T05:03:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day Boobage, below the fold.

FOD

2012-02-13T05:22:00.001-06:00

A gorgeous piece of satire from my fav FOD resource:

Obama to Give Catholics a Present
by Keith Koffler

The White House today announced that President Obama is planning on buying Catholics a present to make them feel better in the aftermath of a an administration decision to require Catholic institutions to provide employees with free birth control.

“It will be a beautiful gift,” said Obama in an interview with Diane Sawyer, who looked on lovingly at the president as he described searching Amazon for something “meaningful and expensive.” Said the president: “I mean, it will be at least $25 so I can get the free shipping, but probably much, much more.”

Obama refused to reveal any details about the gift itself, even declining to say which Amazon category he will ordering from. “I want it to be a surprise,” he said.

Obama acknowledged he had underestimated how much Catholics care about their religion.

“My political adviser, David Plouffe, told me his polling had shown that people stopped clinging to their bibles in 2010,” Obama said. “I mean, I thought the small people had advanced in their thinking by now, after three years of listening to me. But I believe everybody has a right to live in the Dark Ages, and just to show I love them anyway, I’m getting them a gift.”

Obama apparently will not select the button on Amazon that would have the gift wrapped. A lucky Associated Press photographer photographed Michelle Obama Thursday shopping at Target for wrapping paper.

Meanwhile, an unusual coalition of Jewish, Muslim, Evangelical, gay and lesbian, transgender, Native American, and women’s groups vehemently condemned Obama’s plan to purchase a present of Catholics.

“Oh, so we don’t get a gift, is that it?” said the group’s spokeswoman, Arlene Quibblesworth. “Nothing for us? Can you imagine how we’re all going to feel when the Catholics are opening their gift and we’re just sitting there without anything? This is clearly establishment of religion, by the way.”

The White House signalled it was also ready to potentially relax some of the requirements of the new rule, or at least to give Catholic organizations a way to pretend they are not supporting birth control.

“We’re going to work out an arrangement with Catholics where they won’t have to compromise all of their principles – just some of them,” Obama told Sawyer.

In a conference call with reporters, a senior White House aide denied the arrangement would have any impact on the president’s determination that nothing should impede free love.

“The president is firm in his conviction that people must be allowed to have all the sex they want at the lowest cost possible,” he said. “This is an important Constitutional principle that was established in the 1960s by The Beatles. It supersedes nebulous concepts like the free exercise of religion, especially after a couple of drinks.”

The official, who declined to be named but who claimed to be supine while on the phone, added that the issue wasn’t just about the rights of women, but the rights of men as well.

“How can we tell all these studs who want to sleep with dozens of women that they should have to risk knocking one of them up?” he said.

A spokesman for the Vatican described White House efforts to placate Catholics as unsatisfactory.

“While we of course are looking forward to our gift, we continue to believe Catholic institutions should not be forced to pay for birth control,” he said.

What a waste

2012-02-12T05:32:00.000-06:00

I was never much of a Whitney Houston fan. During her heyday, some of her hits were virtually inescapable, so I am aware of her body of work, and could probably sing along with a decent bit of it.

I never saw The Bodyguard and have always preferred Dolly's version of 'I Will Always Love You', but again, I didn't mind Whitney's music, I just didn't pursue it or own it.

It is a sad waste of a life to die at age 48, being a known drug abuser. There is a young woman who is motherless as her adult life begins. I can't imagine what that girl's childhood was like.

It pisses me off that people with so much talent, success and wealth so often squander it. Sometimes it seems like the bigger the celebrity, the weaker their personal character.

I suppose this is one of those times to gather my family tight, remind ourselves to be content in our no-where-near-the-limelight lives, and rejoice in the happiness that we have in this life. I would rather be normal, boring and unknown, than famous and dead.

Obama's magic money tree

2012-02-11T11:14:00.001-06:00

And I'm not talking about the place in Fort Worth printing the money.

Obamacare's mandate requires insurers to provide free birth control but:

the new policy would not allow health insurers to increase their premiums, charge co-payments or deductibles to make up for the cost of contraceptives.

Really? Then who pays for it? And how in the world can they control what insurers are charging for? They most certainly will pass on the cost to the consumer. If they can't do it outright, they will hide it somewhere else in the policy - so much for transparency and reforming the system Blowhole. Blowie's very own policies force corporations to resort to smoke and mirrors to meet the regulatory requirements.

I have an idea for birth control. Keep it in your pants. Keep your knees together. If you choose to do otherwise, why in the world should anyone else be responsible for funding your sexual activity?

I understand that preventing pregnancy is a lot less costly to insurers than paying for pregnancy related health care. Still, they won't just happily start paying for every form of birth control the law mandates. The cost will trickle down, to someone, somewhere. It has to. Why can't this administration grasp basic principles?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Blowie thinks that free means no one ever pays. Heck, his wife was in town promoting healthy eating at the home of never ending pasta bowls, soups, salads and bread sticks. 'Cause that makes perfect sense.

Blogging friends photo fun

2012-02-11T05:32:00.001-06:00

My friend Allen is a Very Important Person in local libertarian politics. A couple of weeks ago, he was chosen as Grand Poobah of his county's party chapter. Shortly after his appointment, he started goading a local restaurant critic/political columnist on Facebook. Said columnist did what all First Amendment loving newspaper guys do...he started censoring and deleting the comments. Way to stir the pot, Allen. Keep up the good work.

Allen's company moved into some new digs a year or so ago. He soon posted a picture of himself with this sign. Later, he talked his mother into being a rebel and posted her picture by the sign. I think there should be some sort of reward for those of us who manage to find the sign and get a photograph without being chased away. Neener, neener, neener, I sat by your shrubbery...

Hell no that isn't photoshopped.

Screwed and moving to Oklahoma

2012-02-09T20:14:00.006-06:00

49 states have agreed to a $25 billion settlement with the five major banks in the nation that were accused of mortgage/foreclosure abuses. Oklahoma is the only state with any integrity in this matter.

The big plan, finally, is to:

...force the five largest mortgage lenders to reduce loans for about 1 million households. The reduced loans would benefit homeowners who are behind on their payments and owe more than their homes are worth.

The deal includes $2.7 billion in guaranteed cash payments altogether, and estimates of $1.5 billion for payments to victims of wrongful foreclosure, $3 billion from a refinance program and $32.3 billion in homeowner benefits from loan modifications.

For those taxpaying citizens that have borne the burden of foreclosures, tanking home values, bank reform, etc., while still paying their own mortgage on a home that they have lost some, most, or all equity in - there is NOTHING. And don't be fooled into thinking that the banks are actually shelling out their own money. Fees and charges have increased for several years and are sure to increase even more as they have to cover this plan. And who bears the burden of those increased fees and charges? Those of us with money in the bank.

The agreement requires the banks to commit a staggering amount of money toward changing loan terms. At least $10 billion will go toward reducing the principal for borrowers who are delinquent or underwater borrowers at risk of default. At least $3 billion will go toward refinancing.

Is it just me, or does this plan seem to encourage people to default on their mortgages? When decent, hardworking, bill paying people are stuck with higher interest rate mortgages because their home won't appraise for anything near what it did three years ago, something is desperately wrong with the system. When the government is now forcing banks to reward people in default, instead of the people that have been helping the economy limp along, something is desperately wrong with the system. What the hell have I been thinking, to cut back and make sure that we can meet our obligations?

I heard a statistic that 90% of the foreclosures in the U.S. would have happened eventually, no matter what. Even if the banks had tried to re-structure loans, if they hadn't done the robo-sign thing, if they had reduced payments (while extending terms) - the fact remains that most of those people were going to permanently default anyway. Many of them lived in the houses they weren't paying for, for months. Now we are going to give 750,000 of them $2,000. (Mind the line at the lottery ticket counter and the casinos).

Blowie promised transparency, and there you have it. The price of a vote? $2,000 of someone else's money.

One of these kinds of days

2012-02-08T22:01:00.001-06:00

This week's glaring example of government overreach

2012-02-08T05:43:00.006-06:00

That rending scream you hear is the sound of our Constitution dying.

I realize it has been over 200 years ago, but I can't believe that Americans have forgotten the driving force behind the birth of our republic, escape from religious tyranny. Our forefathers came to America to get out from under the King's orders and the very first of our Constitution's amendments prohibits the government from interfering with an individual's religion or speech.

'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.'

Obamacare was passed with a provision that requires all employers/private insureres, even religious ones, except churches, to provide birth control (including sterilization surgeries and abortion-inducing drugs), no matter their beliefs on the matter. Needless to say, Catholics and many other conservative religions are in an uproar over the violation of their Constitutionally guaranteed religious liberties.

Then, Big Brother stepped in and suppressed a (military chaplain) Catholic Archbishop's freedom of speech, by refusing to allow other chaplains to read his letter decrying the health care mandate, from their pulpits. Did you get that? Military commanders told priests what could and could not be said during their sermon.

This isn't the first time the military tried to silence the chaplain corp, which is what makes this move so unbelievable.

In the summer of 1996, the Roman Catholic Church launched the "Project Life Postcard Campaign." The Church's goal was to defeat President William J. Clinton's veto of a bill that would have banned certain abortions. The Church asked its priests to urge parishioners to send postcards to Congressmen asking them to override the veto.

Father Vincent J. Rigdon was a Roman Catholic priest and lieutenant colonel in the Air Force Reserve who preached at Andrews Air Force base in Washington, D.C. In response to the Church's campaign, the military ordered Rigdon and all other chaplains not to participate in the postcard campaign. The military said the campaign violated rules that prevent military personnel from lobbying for or against legislation in Congress.

Rigdon sued the armed forces to challenge the order. He said it violated his First Amendment rights to free speech and religion. A Catholic officer, an Air Force rabbi, and the Muslim American Military Association joined Rigdon in his lawsuit. They feared the order would prevent chaplains from discussing important issues during sermons, counseling, and confessions.

The military said the order did not prevent chaplains from discussing moral issues during sermons and religious teaching. On 7 April 1997, however, the federal district court ruled against the military and in favor of Rigdon and his fellow chaplains. The court said chaplains are allowed to urge congregants to write letters to Congress on important moral issues. The court said, "There is no need for [the government's] heavy handed censorship."

A shortsighted comment from the chaplain's attorney, Kevin Hasson, after the ruling:

"This was the first time in U.S. history that the government dared to try to censor chaplains' preaching," he said. "The court has made sure it will be the last."

Well, it lasted 15 years. This administration has little regard for our Constitution (don't get me started on that shitbox, Ginsburg), no care for religious freedom or freedom of speech and certainly can't be hampered by legal precedents. The only saving grace is that it is an election year and Blowie won't sit idly by and lose all those Democratic Catholic votes. The administration will make some concession - not to religious freedom, but to the mandatory health care rules, at least until after the election.

Rigdon v Perry summary from here.

We could have put an eye out

2012-02-07T06:07:00.000-06:00

Two blondes walk into a barn carrying a golf ball, a ten pound dumbbell and a Red Ryder BB gun.

Sounds like there is a punchline coming, but, no. This is a description of Boom and me yesterday afternoon.

My parents and their across-the-street neighbor are out of town. We are gathering eggs at the neighbor's and keeping an eye on the house for my parents. My stepdad has a habit of ordering things right before he leaves town, so I am always on the lookout for a UPS delivery. My parents left Sunday morning and we made the swing by their house on the way home from school, to check on things.

I noticed the barn door was cracked open. Now, the door needs a new knob and doesn't always latch without some jiggling - and that was my first thought as I took off walking toward it, 'Somebody didn't get the door shut before they left.' Then, I slowed a little realizing that something else might be afoot. I turned and made sure the kids waiting in the car had my cell phone out and ready and knew what to do. What I didn't do was turn around and go in the house to get a weapon, I guess I didn't want to give up any ground by backtracking at that point, should someone be watching from inside the barn. I would have lost sight of several escape routes, had I gone into the house for a gun.

Boom decided to be brave and followed me offering to grab the dog poop scooping implements that were nearby or the snake-killing hoe that is kept by the back door. She settled for picking up an errant golf ball from the putting green, ready to bean someone on the head with it.

The Red Ryder BB gun was leaning up on the barn porch, where my stepdad likes to sit and plink at the sparrows that nest under the barn roof. We made a ruckus going in, but the noise of a lever action BB gun isn't nearly as reassuring as the chick-chick of a pump action shotgun.

I stepped in and hit the light switch. Boom grabbed the dumbbell. Nothing seemed amiss, all of the tools and electronics were in their places, undisturbed. The other side of the barn houses my stepdad's home away from home, his Casita RV. The door side was facing away from us, but we could see it was wide open. Neither of us could remember if that was the usual state of the door, so more loud tough talk ensued as we walked toward it. I nosed the barrel of the Red Ryder in ahead of me, listening for any little sound that would indicate someone was inside. I did my best Horatio Cain impression opening the bathroom door with my foot while keeping the gun trained on the opening. It was empty, as well.

We secured the building and had a little laugh at our stupidity and courage. I think the best thing we had going for us was the reputation of Texas women. It is an off day when the only weapon at hand is a BB gun, regardless, we could have done some damage with the rest of our improvised weapons.

FOD notRomney edition

2012-02-06T05:32:00.000-06:00

Top Ten Reasons Romney Thinks He Can Win This Fall:

1. He has Utah completely locked up.

2. Obama is weakened by vegetable diet forced on him by Michelle.

3. Trump endorsement will add at least 15-20 votes during the general election.

4. Mormonism allows him to promise the country two and even three first ladies.

5. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and Biden is from Saturn.

6. He won’t make McCain’s mistake of being a genuine person.

7. His campaign is preparing new challenge to Obama’s legitimacy to be president based on where he was conceived.

8. Plans not to select Dan Quayle as running mate.

9. Feels certain he can out-Tweet Obama any day of the week.

10. Is in possession of Obama’s college records, including term paper titled, “How I plan to establish a Communist paradise in the United States during my second term as president.”

Lord help us. The poll that really needs to be taken is one that asks, 'Will you vote for or against Obama?'

There is no 'electing' that is going to be done, it is going to be a whittling down to the lesser of two evils.

Top Ten List from White House Dossier.

Beer me

2012-02-05T09:48:00.003-06:00

According to a 24/7 Wall Street report, these are the 8 beers that Americans No Longer Drink.

Michelob (-72%)
Michelob Light (-64%)
Bud Select (-60%)
Milwaukee's Best (-53%)
Old Milwaukee (-52%)
Miller Genuine Draft (-51%)
Milwaukee's Best Light (-34%)
Budweiser (-30%)

Those percentages are over the period 2006-2010.

The article points out that most of the losses are in full calorie beers, and that the sales have been replaced by light, craft and import beers. Well, it's good to know Americans are taking Michelle's nutritional advice and drinking lower calorie beer.

Of the eight on the list, I can say with certainty that I have sampled at least six of them. I am not sure about the Milwaukee's Best and Best Light. I can say with certainty that I haven't had a single beer on that list in at least twelve years. Living in Germany dramatically changed my taste preferences for beer. I was a lager-drinking American girl when I left the states and came home a dunkel and bock-lover. I learned to appreciate the subtleties of regionally brewed beers. I cried when I drank the last drop of Kreuzberg beer, which I had brought back with me (before the days of TSA and no liquids on planes). Sometimes I go to the live webcam on their website just to bask in the memories of sitting at a fest table, taking in the view from the hilltop, drinking the best beer I have ever had. But I digress...

Michelob was sort of a premium beer in the seventies - I remember how fancy those bottles with the shiny gold labels looked in the cooler case, next to all the canned varieties. I remember when Miller Genuine Draft was the Zima of the eighties. In other words, yuppies sidled up to the bar and ordered a 'MGD' as if it were the best thing being served in a bar since Prohibition. In my mind, MGD was the beginning of the silly season of American beers introducing something new every year. Might be a good marketing strategy to lure in the younger crowd, but they never really hit on the quality part of the equation. I think that is where micro and craft brewers seized an opportunity that has been to the betterment of the beer market.

I can't say that the list bothers me. America's triplet brewing giants are now two foreign-owned mega-conglomerates. My beer money goes to to that little company in Shiner, Texas and their parent company in San Antonio - and a little goes in the wish jar for a trip back to Germany one day.

Looking Forward

2012-02-04T05:21:00.001-06:00

My 'job' is producing a music festival for a non-profit foundation. In the course of my work, people often tell me that I 'made their year'. They look forward to the event so much that hearing the news or getting their tickets makes them giddy. I have always just smiled to myself, thinking 'different strokes for different folks' - because it certainly isn't my thing and I can't imagine how someone would put my festival at the top of their 'best moments of the year' list.

But then the word I love to hear appeared on the Criplet's blog....'Blownstar'. And it made my year. Not just the calendar year, but pretty much the year since the last time I got to gather with my blogging friends.

It wasn't much later that I read about CD coming to Texas on his relocation fact finding mission. And Paul and his kiddos have arrived safe and set up house in their new Texas 'hood. I couldn't be happier for all of them - and I can't wait to see them all this summer.

I think it is hard to instill in kids, not just a work ethic, but an understanding that many good things in life are worth the wait and effort. Five years ago if you would have told me that I would walk into a blogmeet of complete strangers that I met on the internet and leave considering them some of the greatest people I have ever known, I would have called you crazy. But they are great, and we are all a little crazy. And I can't wait to see them all together again.

American Airtitudes

2012-02-03T05:10:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned yesterday, I was a parent chaperone on a third grade field trip this week. The field trip coincided with American Airline's announcement of their corporate restructuring plans. There were several parents on the field trip whose livelihood is dependent on AA, and there was much discussion about the situation.

With DFW Airport nearby and the corporate headquarters in Fort Worth, the area where I live is heavily populated with AA employees. I live quite near Alliance Airport, which appears poised to take a major hit as American says they will close their maintenance facility there. This announcement came the day after Hillwood (the Perot-owned developer of the area) said they were planning to add 3,000 residential units over the next ten years. They were quick to say that AA's plans wouldn't affect theirs, and noted the 1,200 AA jobs lost at Alliance make up only 3% of the airport's workforce.

The AA hangar at Alliance is massive - seven wide body jets standing wingtip-to-wingtip can fit inside at once! I am not well versed in such things, but the closing of AA's maintenance facility, which encompasses 1.6 million square feet, will surely be felt well beyond the people without a job. Runway fees, aviation fuel sales, restaurants - the closing will have a negative trickle-down effect.

So while I am sad for those losing their jobs and disappointed with AA's decision to close the Alliance facility, I have to say that listening to pilot and flight crew members bitching about the re-org was infuriating. While maintenance workers were fretting over how to tell their families that they were out of a job, pilots were crying about how unfair their pay re-structuring was. GMAFB. I really could care less about the details, though you can read the pilot's proposed term sheet here and the flight attendants term sheet here.

What really got under my skin was the entitlement attitude. For instance, part of the flight attendant union's statement was this:

We know that Flight Attendants working at our competitors earn the same if not more than we do. We cannot be expected to take another 20 percent cut to do the same job. I won't stand for it.

One of the pilots that was on the field trip was asked about the possibility of US Airways making a takeover bid. His major concern was that US Airways pilots are better compensated and that would create 'a class warfare atmosphere among the pilot ranks' should the two combine.

Really?

How about being thankful that another company might be able to save your job? What about the thought process of, "If I work hard and show the new boss my worth, I could be promoted and make a better wage than I ever could have at AA." How about looking around you and realizing that working 75 hours a month with the ability to fly anywhere in the world for free, is a pretty sweet deal.

Where do flight attendants get the idea that everybody in the world with a similar job should be making the same amount of money? Fry cooks at McDonald's make a whole lot less than fry cooks at Chili's, but they're both still fry cooks. Using the flight attendant's mentality, Mickey D's is going to have to jack up their pay, because it Just. Isn't. Fair. for anyone else to make more money doing the same job.

While I have no formal flight attendant training, and I fully realize that their true worth lies in the safety training for things we never hope to have to go through - the reality is that the core of their job is to get people to sit up straight, turn off their electronics and serve as a mile high cocktail waitress. It ain't brain surgery.

Government Jobs

2012-02-02T05:50:00.008-06:00

Yesterday I accompanied The Princess' class on a field trip to the Fort Worth location of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. This facility and one in Washington D.C. make all of the paper currency for the United States. If you are ever in the area, plan a stop for the free tour, it is really interesting.

The guided tour takes place on the second floor, where the corridors are lined with windows that provide a view to the production floor below. There were about twelve adults on the field trip, and frequent comments were made about the pace of work on the floor. For every person that was seen actively engaged in a task, there were easily three or four others standing around. We joked about 'government jobs'.

The people down on the production floor also loved to stop what they were doing and wave up at the kids, or pick up a sample of the work done in their area and hold it up for the tour group to see. The next generation one hundred dollar bills were being printed, they are quite colorful (the background color is a bluish-purple). There is a tour every half hour from 9 am until 2 pm, Monday through Friday. Anyone want to venture a guess at how productive that day shift is, when they stop every half hour or so to wave at the kiddos?

Toward the end of the tour, we were getting the tour guide's schpiel as we watched the final packaging of the bills. They bundle together four 'bricks' into a cash pack of 16,000 bills and send it into a machine that shrink wraps it. That is one guy taking the bricks off of the pallets, putting them onto a conveyor belt while another guy stands there talking to him. There is one man guiding the bricks into the shrink wrap machine. When the cash pack emerges, it continues on another conveyor belt to a man whose job it is to place a sticker on the end of the package. Seriously. He was sitting in a chair, in jeans, T-shirt and UT hat, holding a roll of numbered stickers and slapping one on each cash pack as it came by. I would guess the frequency was around one package every 90 seconds. I want that job. Even if it is the lowest pay grade job in the place, that is a sweet deal. Especially considering the bennies:

Challenging work, opportunities for advancement, competitive salaries, bonuses and incentive awards;

Ten paid holidays, 13 days of sick leave, and 13 to 26 days of vacation time each year;

Access to insurance programs that may be continued after you retire;

A wide choice of health insurance plans, coverage for pre-existing conditions, and no waiting periods. We pay a substantial amount (up to 75%) of the health insurance premiums.

But that is really just the tip of the iceberg. Our tour guide explained that there are 800 employees at the plant. 400 on the production floor. Those 400 production floor employees are represented by ELEVEN unions.

Can you imagine the number of jobs it takes just to keep eleven union's worth of employment agreements straight?

The real economy

2012-02-01T05:56:00.000-06:00

I am getting fairly sick and tired of the media telling me about all the signs of economic recovery. Today there was a leading story about the 'blockbuster' performance of the stock market in January. An hour later, the headline was 'Tepid Economic Data Deliver a Reality Check'. From now on, I just change the station or click on by each story about it. I don't need an analysis of the stock market or a monologue about commodity futures to determine the state of the economy. I just need to look at my bank account.

It cost me $6 more to fill my car up this week, than it did last week.

Milk costs $1 more than it did 18 months ago.

I reached for the same 2 pound bag of coffee that I have been buying at Costco for the past 5 years, only to notice that the price has doubled over that time, with a significant jump coming since my last purchase.

Orange juice is at an all-time high. Beef is skyrocketing. Fresh produce is inflated.

I bought a pair of 'work' jeans, the kind I wear to work with the animals or in the yard. Same style and brand as last year. They were $5 more and the fabric is noticeably thinner.

We are getting screwed from every direction, with a president that might gift us with an Real! Live! Budget! next month. One that proposes tax increases and a trillion or so more in deficit, but conveniently leaves out the Buffet Rule that Blowie claims will save the world.

I simply can't grasp how our government got so big that the working class are breaking their backs and watching their savings dwindle as their wages are garnished by taxes that fund programs and projects that benefit so few people. I just want to raise my family, provide a good education for my kids and enjoy my golden years. It is beginning to look like my golden years might be spent behind the counter at the golden arches.

A Harper Beatitude

2012-01-31T08:00:00.001-06:00

Blessed are those who suffer idiots and bitches,
They will be ~~avenged by their God~~ rewarded with Shiner.

75% of the 'work' I do (not the mom parts, but the outside-the-home parts) is uncompensated. While I love being able to work from home and be here for my kids, I envy all of you that have real jobs with real policies and HR departments and supervisors and expectations of civil behavior.

There is something about volunteer organizations that brings out the bitchiness in people. They seem to think they can leave all decorum at the door and act like 12-year olds.

The only actual paycheck I receive is a small stipend as director of a non-profit foundation. Basically, I am compensated for the use of my home office, my computer and other office equipment, utilities and storage space. I certainly don't get paid enough to deal with psycho volunteers.

If you have ever worked with other volunteers, you know what I mean. Maybe a group of youth sport's parents, or a school event. Maybe some non-profit fundraiser. They are all the same. There is inevitably one or two raving idiots that would be fired, if it were a corporate environment.

Suffering the gross incompetency and rabid bitchy defensiveness of someone I can't fire is my challenge for the day. What's yours?

FOD

2012-01-30T06:04:00.001-06:00

Just because, it seems so fitting (and yes, that is a unicorn behind him):

Not your average Sunday morning post -MNSFW

2012-01-29T06:20:00.000-06:00

I had some free time and decided to click around to a couple of time wastage sites for a giggle. I have a go to list that I don't look at very often, but are the cream of the crop of all that is great about the Gorenet. Regretsy was the clear winner this time, as my howls of laughter echoed throughout the house. The basic premise of Regretsy is to 'feature' products being advertised on Etsy that consistently produce the same reaction - "Who would buy this crap?"

The writers who comment on the posts make the experience that much more enjoyable. This post still brings laughter-induced tears to my eyes. Sure, sure, the product is ridiculous for anyone with a couple of functioning brain cells, but it is the Regretsy staff commentary that made me spew my Shiner. Specifically the last three words...

“This is NOT Summer’s Eve!” Like there’s some great disadvantage to buying FDA approved sanitary products made in hygienic conditions. That is so corporate, man. Down with Big Pussy!

I’m sorry, there is no way I’m buying a bag of parsley and cat hair douche from a stranger on the internet. Jesus Christ, I wouldn’t even buy food on Etsy, much less hillbilly bajingo wash.

Personalized service, no mas

2012-01-28T09:03:00.002-06:00

While I am sure that it is a much easier thing to manage corporately, I am worn out on all the things in our world that ignore the individual situation. I've written before about our health care system and how impersonal it has become, due to all the regulations, insurance company oversight and deadbeats that affect the doctor-patient relationship. Here I am making generalizations, but it is all interconnected.

This week I got our annual homeowner's policy renewal. We have never had a claim at this house. Our other house had one claim for water damage that was ultimately determined to be caused by faulty construction (there was a successful class action suit against the home builder) and that was over 8 years ago.

This spring there was a massive hail storm that carved a swath of destruction in our community. The damaging hail missed our house by less than a quarter-mile. Neighbors at the end of our street had to have roofs replaced. People half a mile away had cars totaled, windows broken out, paint stripped off of barns and all of the trees were stripped of their leaves. The electric company just finished replacing meters that were damaged by the hail. It was a big ass storm.

Since we escaped it so narrowly, I would think that we are more or less included in the statistical probability of NOT having another storm that severe for some period of time, while enjoying the benefits of NOT having a rate raising claim. The insurance company instead lumped me into the 'area with a butt load of claims this year' category and jacked my rate.

They also did one of their famous home value studies and upped that a ridiculous amount as well. Did you know that they don't care what the home has recently appraised for? They apparently could care less that the real estate market has tanked and that they have my home valued for $40,000 more than the county tax assessor says it is worth. I have a friend who has been in the insurance biz for decades and he explained that they all use the same valuation tool (some German sounding name that I can't remember), and location and economy have very little to do with determining coverage and replacement cost.

It is no wonder that people commit insurance fraud. If my house burned to the ground, we would be much better off financially than we are now and would have a much nicer new house.

Anniversaries of birthdays

2012-01-27T06:20:00.000-06:00

I had a birthday this week. Birthdays just aren't my thing at this point in life. Sure, it is nice to get treated to lunch and/or dinner and get some nice gifts, but, at this point in my life, the passage of years isn't appreciated. I am not young enough to be looking forward to any milestones. I am not old enough to wear my age like a badge of honor.

I don't feel as old as the number makes me sound. My kids are always trying to suck up and tell people I am much younger. They tried saying I was twenty-one, but I told them that they were skewing too young. They asked me what age I wanted to be, for eternity. For some reason, twenty-eight came out of my mouth. So we decided to celebrate the fourteenth anniversary of my twenty-eighth birthday.

After thinking about it for a couple of days, I must have selective amnesia about what makes a good year. Back in my twenty-eighth year, I had an infant, born in October of the previous year. I had major surgery with a long rehab time in the spring. My husband (at the time) was deployed to Bosnia. His unit lost four soldiers that summer. We were living in Germany, far away from family and friends in a time before email, Skype, cell phones - just $1+ per minute long distance phone calls and good old fashioned letters.

I guess I have chosen to remember more of the good than the bad. I was living in Germany! Ysenburg Schwarzbier! Kreuzberg Beer! Traveling across Europe. Wonderful neighbors. Vacationing in the Alps. Coming home to Texas for a visit, and my oldest son taking his first steps in Lajitas during that trip. Back then you could pay a guy two bucks to row you across the Rio Grande, so you could have lunch in Mexico.

It's fortunate that time softens memories, at least enough that they take some thought to remember the emotions and details. I suppose twenty-eight isn't such a bad year to memorialize with an annual anniversary celebration. Unfortunately, The Princess noted that half of my children, including her, were born well after my twenty-eighth birthday. Looks like next year we will begin celebrating the anniversary of my thirty-seventh year.

Either way, I still sound older than I feel.

Spam Foul!

2012-01-26T06:21:00.000-06:00

Way back when, I sent a whopping $5 to Herman Cain's campaign to get a "Cain versus unAble" bumper sticker. I thought the sentiment was hilarious and I wanted a little piece of American political campaign history for my scrapbook.

Tonight my email inbox greeted me with an email from Newt Gingrich. It began 'Dear Conservative..." and then continued in a heavy old school GOP vein, citing Ronald Reagan no fewer than three times. It was a plea for money, of course, as well as a laundry list of the ways ol' Newt could beat Blowie in '...a series of three hour Lincoln-Douglas style debates...'.

I skipped down to the small print at the bottom. "Paid for by Cain Connections (www.CainConnections.com) and not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee. Cain Connections is a federal political committee."

Wasn't it just last week that Cain endorsed 'the people'? Apparently he has cast his lot with Newt. That is fine and dandy for him. Using the email addresses of people who quite intentionally opted OUT of receiving emails when they threw a nickel bill your way - not cool.

Original thought MIA, again

2012-01-25T12:07:00.000-06:00

Saw this over at Parkway Rest Stop. I love how they turn these things around so quick. Why can't Blowie's speech writer come up with something new and different?

Hard to read

2012-01-24T22:15:00.000-06:00

Do you ever read a speech or transcript of some sort of dialogue and find yourself hearing the original speaker in your head? I am now trying to read out loud, so I hear my voice instead of Blowie's...

I have been trying to read the transcript of the SOTU before the media starts telling me what it means. I like to draw my own conclusions. Yes, there are arguments to be made about his 'facts' and plenty of political fodder for all sides to interpret and regurgitate. Here are some random things that jumped out at me as I skimmed the transcript:

There was an early plug for unions and Master Lock.

Blowie touted American auto makers for a stellar recovery, even noting Ford, who took no bail out money (though he didn't make that distinction). He also mentioned Chrysler which is partially owned by Fiat - an Italian company.

A bit later, he is eschewing the need for corporate tax breaks of various types and says that 'high-tech' manufacturers should get double what other companies get. All you low-tech companies, suck it.

Blowie makes lots of 'goals' that we don't hear about until he has met them. Let's see what has happened over the past year and then take credit for it by claiming I had set that benchmark as a goal.

Frequently mentioned making the government smaller and easier to deal with but also announced the formation of: Trade Enforcement Unit, one stop employment website and program, Finance Crimes Unit and a special unit of federal prosecutors.

Blowie must be buttering up Angela Merkel, as he touted a Seimens' program that creates and provides training for jobs in their plants. He knows Seimens is a German company, doesn't he?

The president is ~~calling on~~ demanding states require students to stay in high school until they graduate or turn eighteen. Watch and see - he will craft federal legislation, another attack on state's rights. Then the states can figure out how to entertain (cause they damn sure won't be educating) the teenage mothers, drug addicts and those who need to work that will be forced into attending school.

All illegal immigrants need to enroll in school now, because they will all get a free pass to stay in the country.

Crass use of a dead man (Steve Jobs) to segue between immigration issues and energy issues.

Every home owner gets $3,000.

Wants the power to ~~modify the Constitution~~ consolidate the federal bureaucracy.

Began and ended the speech by mentioning terrorists.

I don't know how you keep a straight face and ~~tell fairy tale~~s give speeches like this.

SOTU Bingo!

2012-01-24T14:32:00.000-06:00

I Googled and clicked and decided that Americans for Tax Reform has the best State of the Union bingo cards for tonight's speech. If you choose to sit through it, I would suggest some form of drinking game to go along with the bingo. I will be sitting through another sort of hell known as municipal government.

ATR got my vote for the bingo cards because they included definitions for their key phrases:

"Investment" – Spending taxpayer money on Obama re-election constituencies such as government employee unions, teachers' guilds, and big-city political machines.

"Children and grandchildren" – The people picking up the tab.

"Energy" – Something that flows from good intentions, government programs,

"Stimulus" spending but not pipelines.

"Exports" – That trade – and only that trade – acceptable to union bosses.

"I" or "Me" – Center of the known universe.

"Compromise" – Tax hikes.

"Sacrifice" – Tax hikes.

"Bipartisan" – Tax hikes.

"Fair" OR "Fair Share" – Tax hikes.

"Balanced" – Tax hikes.

"Small business" – Those who will pay the most under my plan to tax "the rich."

"Special interests" – Taxpayers who do not wish to give their money to my friends.

"There are those who..." OR "Some" – [INSERT STRAW MAN HERE]

"Middle class" – Those who are the target of seven tax hikes in Obamacare.

"Deficit" – What Democrats want you to focus on when what they really want to sell you is a tax hike.

"Regulations" – The governmental leash attached to the choke collar around the neck of the economy.

"Recovery" – This time it's real, I swear, not like that "Recovery Summer" we had in 2010 after spending $1 trillion of borrowed money.

"Infrastructure" OR "Roads and Bridges" – Spending taxpayer money on those states voting Democrat in '08.

"Affordable" – Reality for the taxpayer only after they've worked 224 days to pay for the total cost of government.

"Obstructionists" – House Republican lawmakers who have actually passed a budget – NOT the Senate Democrats who have refused to pass a budget for 1,000 days.

"Streamline" – The pretense of dieting after an all-out spending binge.

"Wall Street" – 1. Where your IRA and 401(k) live. 2. A bauble to distract you from noticing my bailout of Fannie and Freddie.

"Jobs" – "You want to find work on the Keystone XL pipeline? Tough luck – I've got a campaign to run."

"Profit" – Money without which jobs would never be created.

Songbird

2012-01-24T05:04:00.001-06:00

I cannot think of anyway to explain this, except maybe that the bird was trained by some crazy guitarist in another band to interrupt Josh's playing. Jamie Dailey would pull that kind of prank - but I think this was nature all on its own.

I have had the pleasure of working with these guys and just know that they are tickled pink to be in a 'viral' video. If you can't appreciate a little bluegrass music, you can skip to 1:25 to see what the fuss is about.

FOD

2012-01-23T05:46:00.000-06:00

It is becoming a habit of mine, to click over to White House Dossier for a FOD post. It never disappoints.

(Not very many) news outlets are reporting that a judge in Georgia has ordered Blowie to appear in an Atlanta court this Thursday. The case is birther-related and intended to keep Blowie's name off of Georgia's primary ballot in March.

Blowie's current schedule includes travel to Las Vegas, Denver and Detroit on Thursday - but no Atlanta stops are planned.

Apparently, the president doesn't have to abide by the laws of our country.

My favorite comment on the story was this one:

How can they get Obama to show up for the court hearing?

Tell him it is a fundraiser.

Now what?

2012-01-22T06:12:00.000-06:00

This week we learned that Romney didn't win Iowa, Santorum did. Perry called it a day. Newt won South Carolina. Is there anything at all predictable about this campaign season?

Is it just me or does it seem like voters are intentionally voting for a result that is the opposite of what the media builds up in the week before the primary? I think that ABC screwed the pooch airing a sour grapes interview with Newt's second ex-wife. Considering our country's divorce rate, there are plenty of people out there with an ex or two that know exactly how they would feel being put in Newt's shoes. I think many South Carolinians wanted to express their feelings about that sort of journalism by voting for Newt, when they might have voted for someone else before that interview aired.

Florida, Nevada and Maine are up next. Then Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri. A three week break and then Arizona and Michigan, followed by Washington and then Super Tuesday. Do you think it will be decided by then?

The sooner, the better, I think. We need a candidate that is running against Obama, not his peers in the GOP.

Because they might see cooch on the Shore

2012-01-21T05:46:00.000-06:00

I hate Obama. Crash has been saying the word 'hate' quite a bit lately and I am trying to break him of it, by telling him we don't 'hate', we 'dislike' or 'can't stand' or 'abhor' (that last one was a mistake because 4-year old's don't always pronounce it correctly), so I am a total and complete hypocrite in this instance. But I really, really HATE Barack Obama. He divided the country I love. His political party is destroying my Constitution. His supporters are a bunch of blind jackasses. If there were any doubt, guess what most democrats were doing during the GOP debate?
5 MILLION WATCH CNN DEBATE [6.2 MILLION MTV 'JERSEY SHORE', 18 MILLION 'AMERICAN IDOL']...

Rental car scams

2012-01-20T08:50:00.002-06:00

There have been a few media stories and emails floating around about rental car scams. Most recently I saw a post by Old NFO and was reminded to share this story.

Mr Harper has been overseeing his company's El Paso market since last summer, traveling a couple of times a month to check on things. He is a creature of habit and likes routine (as well as the extra miles reward), so he always rents his car from the same place.

Two weeks ago we got a letter from the rental car company claiming $600+/- worth of damage to a rental car. The tone of the letter was along the lines of, 'we are sure you have contacted your insurance company by now and here is the detail of the charges to fix the vehicle'.

I asked Mr H if he had the condition report from the rental, as my experience has always been that there is a document signed at the beginning of the rental and the end of the rental detailing any existing or new damage to the vehicle. 'There isn't one,' he said. Huh?

Whether it was an assumption of trust or technological advances, Mr H explained that his experience with this company has always been a walk-around of the vehicle before and after, but no document or condition report. There has never been any damage on check out or return, so the agent has printed out some sort of rental receipt and sent Mr H on his way.

Mr H called the representative listed on the letter asking for an explanation and asserting that there was no damage. Well, guess what? There is a condition report that is supposed to be filled out before and after - the company's SOP. The rep emailed a copy of the damage report to Mr H - it was a lengthily hand-written statement of how the damage occurred signed by someone purporting to be my husband. After seeing it, Mr H called the rep back and explained that he had never seen that document, nor any condition report like it and that the signature on the document was a forgery. Forging my husband's signature is a little tricky because he does not sign his legal name. Anyone simply signing the name from his credit card is easily tripped up.

Being a frequent customer, Mr H suggested to the corporate office rep that she review other records that they surely had on file, such as his rental agreements, and compare the signatures. He further suggested that she research a little further and see if there were any condition reports routinely filed from that location, or if the only condition reports that existed were those for damaged vehicles.

Within 15 minutes, Mr H had a terse email reply telling him that he was absolved of all damage claims and that the matter was closed as far as he need be concerned.

It makes me wonder what the scam truly is. Surely rental car porters across the nation aren't all such poor drivers that they are routinely crunching up cars in the rental lot and blaming the last renter. I would bet there is a way for the local outlet to collect money from the corporate office and/or insurance and that these vehicles don't have any damage at all.

My advice mirrors that of the media. Get a signed condition report on check out and return (and note every little smudge, windshield chip and door ding on check out). Take cellphone pictures of the vehicle.

In typical red-headed fashion, Mr H isn't completely satisfied with the company's resolution. In a couple of hours he will be approaching the very same rental car counter to pick up this week's rental. He wants to have a little chat with the perpetrators...

Small moral dilemma

2012-01-19T05:36:00.002-06:00

A bit of a backstory:

Way back in October, the school's senior class conducted a fundraiser wherein they took orders to deliver a little package of candy sent from one friend to another, called 'Boograms' for the Halloween season. My kids' school sometimes gives too much responsibility to the students, and in this case there were some issues that wouldn't have happened, had an adult been more actively involved. Despite a firm deadline, a huge number of orders came in late. The student leader made a series of poor decisions; she didn't seek help with procuring additional supplies or help in assembling the extra product needed to fill the orders, and when she realized that she would never accomplish the task in time, she made the decision that she wouldn't fill the orders for Boograms that were sent to seniors (since it was their fundraiser) and would instead use those Boograms to fill the other orders. I understand the intent, but she clearly didn't think it through to the point to realize that other people had paid money for those items. In the case of my family, The Princess and Bang had each sent one to Boom. So we were owed an apology and $4.

The week before Christmas break, Boom came home with the $4 refund in an envelope. I set it to the side and it ended up buried on my desk until yesterday when I was looking for something else. When I came across it, I grabbed the four dollar bills to stick in my wallet and tossed the envelope. I like my money to be facing the same direction, so I was flipping through the bills when one of them caught my eye. In typical multi-task mode, I also happened to be on the phone with my mom. I started to say that I thought one of the bills looked counterfeit, and then I read what it said on it to my mom. She said, 'Harper, that is an old bill, what is the date on it?" It looks like this:

My mom, obviously, has seen them in her lifetime, but I never had. A couple of clicks and I learned a little more about them and that they are worth slightly more than face value ($2 to $18 on various sites). I just love the history of it. This series was the first paper money to say 'In God We Trust' on the back. It is in great condition, still crisp and clean. I figured I would just keep it forever.

Then the doubts started creeping in. The one that goes something like...kid wants to buy a Boogram, knows where there are some dollar bills in Dad's office or in a box in the closet and helps himself not knowing any better. Or it could be that the kid was told 'no' and decided to help himself to Dad or Mom's collection knowing full well that he shouldn't. In any scenario, someone may be missing this bill. This bill certainly hasn't been on the open market for any period of time over the past fifty-five years.

If a notice of any sort was put out by the school, I absolutely would not hesitate to return it to the rightful owner. If I heard someone talking about it, I would track down the owner to return it. I have even considered contacting the school and having them send out a notice asking if anyone happens to be missing a semi-valuable Silver Certificate Dollar. What I don't want is for this bill to end up in some purgatory waiting to be claimed. I don't trust that the school would ever return it to me if it weren't claimed.

On the other hand, there are lots of valuable coins and bills in circulation. I have a jar of wheat pennies, buffalo nickels, silver dollars - most plucked from change given freely at a cash register. This is really no different. While I do believe that this bill is in too good of shape to have been on the market for long, it is just as likely that someone at school had gotten it recently in change. I could be making a mountain out of a mole hill.

What would you do?

Love the ones you're with

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

I had one of those hug-the-kids-real-tight kind of days yesterday.

Really, it started last week when a gentleman I knew died in his sleep. We were business acquaintances, so while I mourn his passing and feel for his family, it was more of a gentle reminder to treat people with respect, because you never know if it will be the last time you see them.

Yesterday, a 7th grade boy in my town died in his sleep. Normal, seemingly healthy, all-American kid next door. No drugs, no alcohol, just sports and Scouts.

In addition to the obvious horror of the situation, this one hits really close to home. He was a year younger than Bang. They played on the same basketball team a few times back in elementary school. They were in the same Cub Scout Pack back then, too.

What has me the most upset is the imagery of that morning and how closely it mirrors those at Harper House.

The boy didn't come down to breakfast at the usual time. His mom called up to him a time or two. Then, she headed to his room to see what was keeping him. He was clearly gone when she found him in his bed. The beginning of this scene plays out often in my home, as I am sure it does all over the world. I can just see and hear his mom climbing the stairs, muttering about that lazy boy, or declaring that he needed to start going to bed earlier if he couldn't get up in the morning. I can feel the twist in my gut, the wrenching chest pain, the panic she must have felt when she realized that he wasn't breathing.

I am sure, by now, the family has replayed their last moments with him. What did they say? Was it a good bedtime, with hugs, love, maybe prayers? Was it gruff, with admonitions about homework or a messy room? How long before the thirteen years of good memories edge out the agony of the loss?

When I went to pick Crash up at his (church based) pre-school, the youth minister was gathered with a group of the boy's close friends and teammates. I wanted to grab each one of them and let them know how much they were loved.

You just never know. I selfishly thanked my God for using another family's pain to remind me to always show my family and friends love and respect - even in less than perfect circumstances. Whoever you love in this life, let them know it. I love those of you that stop by here. I wish I knew each of you personally. (Most of you, trolls excepted).

I need to go hug my kids once or five times more before they go to school.

Secrets

2012-01-17T06:02:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been asked to keep a confidence that, once revealed, will out you as knowing about it beforehand and result in hurt feelings? How did that work out for you?

Thank goodness the confidence was shared with one other person, so we have been able to commiserate. And I told my husband, though he doesn't appreciate the ramifications of the situation. It was nice to be able to say it out loud. It didn't make it better, but it did make it less surreal.

Tomorrow the rest of the interested parties will get the news and, along with it, the realization that some of us knew it was coming. Now, some people will scrutinize a situation like this and think, 'Wow, Harper is trustworthy to be able to keep something like quiet for a friend.'

Unfortunately, most people will wonder what else I am keeping from them. Oh well, I just have to keep reminding myself that the judgement that really matters isn't the one received here on earth.

FOD

2012-01-16T09:27:00.000-06:00

OMFG, please no, please, please, please, don't plant ideas like this.

From the Daily Caller via White House Dossier. Click over to WHD and read some of the recent posts about the Obama's increasing attendance at church and use of religious imagery as we get closer to election day.

Cat lover

2012-01-15T06:31:00.000-06:00

I was clicking through a slideshow of 'Bad Paid-for Tattoos', which I gather is a feature of Ellen Degeneres' show. There were plenty of misspellings, poor artistry and inexplicable subject matter (though I totally 'got' the tattoo of Tatu from Fantasy Island). This one, though, takes the cake, IMHO:

Relocating Rats

2012-01-14T09:32:00.002-06:00

Virginia has its pants in a wad over the potential inheritance of the Occupy DC rat problem - and rightfully so. Now, you might be wondering why the folks in Virginia think that the rats are going to swim across the Potomac. Never fear, it isn't rat migration they fear. It is government regulation.

D.C.'s new rat law--the Wildlife Protection Act of 2010 (Wildlife Protection Act of 2010.pdf) --is “crazier than fiction” because it requires that rats and other vermin not be killed but captured, preferably in families; no glue or snap traps can be utilized; the rodents must be relocated from where they are captured; and some of these animals may need to be transferred to a “wildlife rehabilitator” as part of their relocation process.

The law does not allow pest control professionals “to kill the dang rats,” Cuccinelli told CNSNews.com. “They have to capture them--then capture them in families. [Not sure] how you’re going to figure that out with rats. And then you have to relocate them. That brings us to Virginia. Now, if you don’t relocate them about 25 miles away, according to experts, rodents will find their way back. Well, an easy way to solve that problem is to cross a river, and what’s on the other side of the river? Virginia.”

Good Gawd. When did PETA start writing legislation?

It gets better - so the law requires the use of a 'wildlife rehabilitator', but:

When asked what a wildlife rehabilitator is, Cuccinelli said, “That’s a darn good question! But I understand, if there are any functioning in D.C., there are darn few of them. And I’m not aware that there are any.”

When D.C.'s attorney general's office was contacted for comment:

the communications office there said it was unfamiliar with the new rat law.

And if one set of ridiculous and confusing regulation wasn't enough:

“As for the rat infestations at the Occupy DC camps, treatment of those problems is also made more difficult by new EPA restrictions prohibiting the use of rodenticide products further than 50 feet from buildings,” he told CNSNews.com by e-mail. “The new EPA restrictions also limit the use of rodenticides to commensal rodents, so the only [way] pest management professionals can legally manage non-commensal rodents, such as deer and white-footed mice in the District, is to live-capture them or build a completely rodent-proof structure."

I am surprised that the Occupy (human) vermin don't take issue with these regulations that put the lives of rodents above those of humans. Seriously. Our government will allow humans to live on the streets, in tents, occupying parks, without basic infrastructure, and then oust them at will, using pepper spray and riot gear - but when a large number of rats take up residence, they are handled with kid gloves and treated to a full relocation package to the country.

Mind the stampede to the tattoo studio

2012-01-13T12:11:00.000-06:00

A 21-year-old Iranian man now suffers from a permanent erection after getting a tattoo on his penis, according to a report of his case.

Is 'suffers' really the appropriate verb in this case?

I have never given a moment's thought to piercing, clamping, tattooing or otherwise mutilating any sensitive body tissue. The attraction escapes me.

Stand by as the thundering herds begin their respective stampedes; the doctors who truly care about humankind and advise against penis tattooing, the pharmaceutical companies that make Cialis, Levitra, Viagra and the rest - as a permanent erection without chemical help is not to be tolerated and all of the idiotic men that find the idea of a permanent erection too good to pass up.

Leader of the formerly free world

2012-01-13T08:56:00.000-06:00

Free: Not under the control or in the power of another, able to act or be done as one wishes. Without cost or payment.

Driving the kids to school this morning, the radio DJs played Blowie singing Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' . Sometime during the resultant conversation, one of them referred to Blowie as 'the leader of the free world'. There are a dozen arguments to be made about the appropriateness of assuming that the American president is the leader of 'world' anything, but the word that got my attention was 'free'.

What is free in America? Is there anything that escapes the long arm of government? I started to take inventory of my surroundings.

I was dropping my kids off at school. Kids that are at school because the government says they must be educated. The school is funded with my tax dollars. Not only must they be educated, but they have to meet standards set by the government and take government mandated tests. My tax dollars pay for the mandatory education of others.

I was driving in my car. A car manufactured to meet government standards for safety, fuel economy and emissions. A car that bears a government mandated, fee based-license plate, registration sticker and mandatory annual inspection sticker. A car running on fuel that is sourced by extensive government regulation-ruled petroleum drilling, refining, transport and dispensing laws. Subsidized and taxed to the nth degree. I traveled with my government mandated seat belt on, traveling at government mandated speeds on tax funded roads.

Clothing subject to government regulation and/or import laws.

Cup of coffee containing government inspected, imported coffee beans and American dairy regulation (and subsidy) burdened milk.

Radio broadcast subject to federal regulation and traveling across government licensed radio waves.

Arrived home - house built to local, state and federal standards using materials approved through similar channels. Permitted, certified to occupy and taxed by the same.

Greeted by dogs that are duly licensed, vaccinated and fed FDA inspected and approved dog food.

Sat down to computer to check Facebook and blog knowing that key phrases are monitored by Homeland Security.

Where is the freedom? I challenge you to find ONE freedom guaranteed by our Bill of Rights that hasn't been curtailed, restricted, degraded or belittled by our government.

There is no free world.

Come Back to Texas Criplets Version

2012-01-12T05:50:00.000-06:00

Not to be confused with the Governor Perry version from a couple of days ago. I always think of this song as 'Come Back to Texas' even though it is officially titled 'Ohio'. Paul should get the reference to '...there's a seat for you at the rodeo...' if he ever went to the Rockin' Rodeo while at UNT. And I always think of CD, during the lyric, 'Pantera wants you back'...

Goliath buys out David

2012-01-11T20:28:00.000-06:00

Many a time, when headed to Blownstar and other points south and west, my family would stop in Dublin, Texas, for a Dr Pepper or request an order from whoever was making the trip. The bottler in Dublin made Dr Pepper with Imperial sugar, the old fashioned way. In recent years it became easier and easier to find cane sugar sweetened Dr Pepper in local grocery stores, but it wasn't 'Dublin Dr Pepper' and the trip to the bottling plant, museum and soda fountain in Dublin was still a fun thing to do. And that is the only place I know of that serves Frosty Peppers (vanilla Blue Bell ice cream with Dr Pepper syrup drizzled over the top).

Alas, Dublin Dr Pepper is no more. Dr Pepper Snapple sued the small bottler last year for violating the sales territory agreement and who knows what else. Today, the suit was settled with Dr Pepper Snapple buying out Dublin's distribution rights. Everyone claims that cane sugar Dr Pepper will continue being made (probably at the Temple plant that has been shipping it to grocery stores), it just won't be called 'Dublin Dr Pepper'.

If you haven't ever heard of Dublin Dr Pepper, you might be surprised to hear that the crux of Goliath's suit was that David (Dublin Dr Pepper) was diluting their brand name and stealing sales. (The bottling machinery runs once a week).

They laid off 14 of their 40 employees right off the bat. Right after they changed the websites and signs. Some companies would pay millions of dollars to have a niche market driven by a cult-like following of people wanting to purchase a specific version of their product. Not those crazy Dr Pepper Snapple guys. Kinda makes me want to have a ~~Coke~~ Shiner.

Come Back to Texas

2012-01-10T22:34:00.000-06:00

Rick, the time has come. I know you are concentrating on South Carolina, but what do you expect? Don't take it personally - not really. The election is little more than a popularity contest, with the media being the equivalent of the head cheerleader who decides who the cool kids are. It isn't even about who can beat Obama, 'cause the infighting among the GOP has hurt everyone.

When all is said and done, I am afraid that Americans will stay home on election day, or go with the status quo. After all, look what the last 'change' did to us.

Friendly Wagers

2012-01-10T05:37:00.000-06:00

Last night was the final college football game of the season. While the NFL is still playing, no one in this house has a dog in that hunt. There isn't a team playing that any of us cares enough about to make it interesting. It's a shame, because our differences of opinion regarding sports teams have led to lively trash talking and creative wagering over the years.

Though nothing we have ever done is as crass as some of these, which are clearly the brainchildren of men:

FOD

2012-01-09T05:26:00.000-06:00

Obamacare Waiver Tally:

543,812 for Union Members

69,813 for Private Employees

If you click on over here, you will find the list of 'multi-employer group health plan' waivers that have been granted. Compare that list with this list:

Here’s a breakdown of what some of the top unions donated to the Democratic Party in the 2008 and 2010 election cycles.
The AFL-CIO, donated $1.2 million to Democrats in 2008 and $900,000 in 2010.
The American Federation of State, County and Municipal employees donated $2.6 million to the Democrats in 2008 and another $2.6 million in 2010.
The National Education Association donated $2.3 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.2 million in 2010.
The Teamsters union donated $2.4 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.3 million in 2010.
The SEIU donated $2.6 million to Democrats in 2008 and $1.7 million in 2010.
The Carpenters and Joiners union donated $2 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.1 million 2010.
The Laborers union donated $2.6 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.2 million in 2010.
The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers donated $3.8 million to Democrats in 2008 and $3.2 million in 2010.
The American Federation of Teachers donated $2.8 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.7 million in 2010.
The Machinists and Aerospace union donated $2.5 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.1 million in 2010.
The Communication Workers of America, which includes employees from several television and radio stations and other publishing platforms, donated $2.2 million to Democrats in 2008 and $2.1 million in 2010.
The United Autoworkers union (UAW) donated $2.1 million to Democrats in 2008 and $1.5 million in 2010.
The United Food and Commercial Workers union (UFCW) donated $2.1 million to Democrats in 2008 and $1.9 million in 2010.

I might not like anything else about Mitt Romney, but he needs to keep screaming the phrase 'crony capitalism'.

The complete list of waivers is available here.

Independent thought, MIA

2012-01-08T10:15:00.000-06:00

I didn't get a chance to watch the debate last night. I didn't even record it. There were a couple of sporting events on television that took precedence. We had family in town for the weekend, having come to attend the Cotton Bowl, and Saturday evening was time to visit before their departure this morning.

Is it wrong to admit that college basketball, NFL football and a couple of games of Bananagrams were infinitely more exciting than watching another GOP presidential debate?

And no, I didn't get out of bed and in front of the television at 8 am this morning to watch today's debate. Who in the hell thought an 8 am (central time) Sunday debate was a good idea? Isn't most of the GOP's base headed to church at that time?

These debates have become ineffective and redundant. I understand the grand tradition. I was a high school debater, I appreciate the foundation, the intent. That ship has sailed. There is little subject oriented debate. There are few facts, verifiable statistics or moral statements presented. The candidates take swipes at one another. The 'moderators' show their political leanings and do little to actually moderate or facilitate the event.

The media draws broad and hopelessly varied conclusions over the outcomes. My local fish wrap had a large headline declaring Mitt Romney the clear winner. Unfortunately, too many people will take that opinion to heart, never forming their own opinions or watching a debate themselves.

How many debates will there have been by the time of the GOP convention? How many clearly biased mainstream media commentators will slant questions and pull things out of their ass to trip up whoever their bosses have said they need to discredit? The media has pushed the point that this election will be decided on the status of the economy. Is it any surprise that there are suddenly a slew of stories about how positive the economy is looking? The media is declaring Romney the candidate while setting the stage for Blowie to cruise to another term. And the sheeple are following.

Avoid Ghetto

2012-01-07T06:12:00.000-06:00

Like Shirley MacLaine's portrayal of Ouiser Boudreaux in Steel Magnolias, I someday hope to be of the appropriate age and character to get away with saying whatever the hell comes to mind. It takes a certain amount of snark and wrinkles to get people to tolerate and/or believe what you say. I bet this lady knows exactly what I am talking about:

A Fayette County jury cleared 67-year-old Alberta Kelley of drug possession and manufacture charges on Wednesday after she told them she simply tossed a handful of seeds into her garden after a bearded stranger gave them to her.

Connellsville police charged Kelley a year ago after receiving a tip about Kelley’s garden. Investigators say they found seven well-cultivated, four-foot marijuana plants behind her home.

But Kelley claimed she didn’t know what she was growing. She said she’d been given the seeds by a stranger in a pointy hat who told her they were flower seeds.

'A stranger in a pointy hat'? C'mon, folks, at some point you must realize she is toying with you. The article doesn't say, but I am betting that Ms Kelley's glaucoma is well controlled.

Along the same lines, politicians sometimes try to speak harsh truths to the citizenry. Not many can get away with it - it takes an extreme level of respect and a heartfelt, 'I know what is best for you' sort of fatherly delivery and self-deprecating humor to be successful. Ronald Reagan could do it. Newt 'Paychecks not Food Stamps' Gingrich, not so much.

Bill Gates has always struck me as a democrat. I am not sure why, and I am certainly wrong, if one is to believe his donation record. With over 100 Microsoft lobbyists in D.C. and Gates giving over $192k to Republicans, Gates seems to be well to the right. Therefore, it won't be long before this little patent story is somehow linked to every GOP candidate and used to escalate Blowie's class warfare campaign strategy::

Microsoft has been granted a patent for its “avoid ghetto” feature for GPS devices.

A GPS device is used to find shortcuts and avoid traffic, but Microsoft’s patent states that a route can be plotted for pedestrians to avoid an “unsafe neighborhood or being in an open area that is subject to harsh temperatures.”

Too bad those people Newt is trying to speak to can't install an 'avoid ghetto' feature into their offspring.

Public humiliation as a crime deterrent

2012-01-06T08:19:00.001-06:00

I don't know what laws make crime records public information. Being a (mostly) law abiding citizen, I have never had occasion to be immortalized in a mug shot for all the world to see. Probably because I don't have a criminal history, I love that the average Joe can pull up mug shots and criminal records. Until someone gets the nerve to bring back public punishments, my kids have to be intimidated by the weekly 'Mugshot Mayhem' feature.

A neighboring county chose to create a webpage listing all of their New Year's DWI offenders. If you want to see if any friends or co-workers in the Fort Worth, Texas area were arrested, you can click here for the list.

We don't put anyone in stocks in the public square. We don't nail ears to a post. There are no scarlet letters worn. We don't brand or tattoo murderers. We don't cut off the hands of thieves. We don't publicly execute. Most people don't ever dig any deeper than what the media tells them. It's a shame, because there is usually much more to the story. I would appreciate less protection of criminals and more public humiliation.

I have long said that executions should be on Pay Per View, with the money made reimbursing the costs of the imprisonment. I won't go into the ridiculousness of a prison system that provides better care for its inmates than any other entity does for a free and law abiding public. I applaud the Tarrant County DA for going the public humiliation route for DWI offenders. Don't stop there.

Not yet recovered

2012-01-05T10:54:00.000-06:00

The surgery went swimmingly, though I don't have real specifics on what they found. Mr H should have taken notes. He remembers hearing torn meniscus, though not which one. Significant damage under the knee cap and arthritis in the joint. I will get the details and pictures in a couple of weeks when I see the doc.

My knee doesn't really hurt much, but I feel like crap. I had an allergic reaction to one of the drugs they gave me. We aren't sure which one, because there are two possibilities. I am allergic to penicillin, and the gave me Keflex, which is a distant cousin. The hives and nausea started right after the second dose of morphine. So, one or the other, doesn't matter to me, I just want to feel better.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be up and around more, and able to offer my thoughts on that thing they did in Iowa.

Adjusting the weather knee

2012-01-04T05:40:00.000-06:00

This fine January morning, I am off to day surgery to repair whatever has gone amiss within my knee. This will be scope numero tres for the right knee. They usually ask me to initial the leg that is supposed to have surgery. I can't think of anything pithy to write, other than asking about a buy one get one offer, so both knees get fixed. Think they would go for that?

I am a bit sad that my favorite anesthesiologist (and neighbor) isn't on the case. He always used to walk into the room and quip, "Time for better living through chemistry." But the guy who called tonight has a good reputation and was pleasant on the phone. I have done this surgery gig enough to know how to finesse my answers to their questions, to make sure that I get the treatment I want.

Leading up to this surgery, I visited the doc's office four times; for the initial consult, MRI, follow up and then the return trip when non-surgical methods failed. I visited the adjoining PT office 8 times. I have a nice working relationship with the doctor, his lead tech, the PTs and office crew. I have good insurance. I have met my deductible and paid at each visit, or as soon as I was billed. I even paid in advance at the last visit, knowing I had some PT claims outstanding, but wanted to knock it out while I was in the office. I believe I had a small credit on my account.

How in the world do deadbeats even get the opportunity to run up medical bills? Yesterday I had to drive to the doc's office and pay, upfront, the presumed co-pay for his surgical services. This morning, I have to pay the surgical center the presumed co-pay for their services before the procedure can take place. When did it come to this? I feel bad that the medical establishment has gotten screwed so many times that they now have to demand payment in advance. I harbor no ill will for the docs that choose not to accept new Medicare patients. Who could blame them for making sound business decisions? If you had a group of clients whose insurer kept moving the goal posts, wouldn't you drop them?

I do resent that there is no mechanism to discern from good (paying) patients and the rest. I had about a dozen other things that I could have done but I had to drive 15 miles and pay my surgery ransom. If the medical community wasn't waist deep in red tape and insurance filings, they could get to know their patients better.

First, get paid, then, do no harm.

School's back!

2012-01-03T06:07:00.000-06:00

It is no small miracle that all of my children have survived the Christmas holiday break from school.

I have said it before, and I am not proud of it, but sometimes the young ones hear and see things they wouldn't, if they didn't have older siblings (okay, and me). Boom wondered aloud today, if there is a name for the phenomenon by which the youngest among us can pick the most offensive words out of a conversation and repeat them. They just seem to know which word they shouldn't repeat, yet can't help but say it.

Crash got a mouthful of Irish Spring today. (He has since told me he prefers the Dove). But even the soap treatment didn't stop him from re-stating exactly what he said to Mr H, when asked why he was punished. It was as if he knew that he could get away with saying it again, since he was supposed to speak honestly to his father.

He didn't use an alternate word, he didn't insinuate, he blurted out, 'I called The Princess an asshole!'. And then he smiled sweetly at me, and asked if I was proud of him for telling the truth.

Welcome to Harper House, ignore the teeth marks in the soap.

FOD the countdown

2012-01-02T08:23:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T00:33:00.000-06:00

2011 ended quite pleasantly for me. The weather was beautiful, in the mid 70's, allowing for one of my favorite pastimes, mowing. I got the weeds knocked down, some of the leaves mulched and won't have to think about it again until March or April.

New Year's Eve evening was spent in lovely Thackerville, Oklahoma. Okay, not exactly Thackerville, but that is the exit one takes to go the Winstar World Casino. Boom and I made the trip to see Maroon 5. The tickets were a Christmas gift for Boom and she took me! Of interest to the boys, Adam Levine's girlfriend was in the house, you might recognize her from her Victoria's Secret gig:

It was a good show. I love the venue. It seats 3,000 - so it is very intimate by pop band standards. I haven't figured out why Maroon 5 was playing in Thackerville, Oklahoma on New Year's eve, when they aren't even touring - but it was a great setting.

Now I am home for what is generally the longest night of the year for me as Mr H is out on the roads with all the drunks. I won't sleep until he is home safe again.

For all that stop by this place, here's hoping that 2012 is better than the last.

ROI Lies

2011-12-31T05:29:00.000-06:00

I was blissfully unaware (because I don't care, except that it gives me something to make fun of them for) that there was a class action suit against Honda for its inflated fuel economy claims related to the Civic Hybrid. The Blaze reported on a woman who points out that the class action settlement is just as much of a rip off as the fuel economy claims were. While Honda advertised city/highway fuel economies as 49/51 mpg, owners averaged 31 mpg. After battery saving software updates, the number went even lower.

Now, I feel for the owners getting duped into buying a car that didn't perform as advertised, especially since they don't get that warm fuzzy saving the environment glow, since their green cars aren't all that green. Still, their money is their money (except for that bit that taxpayers fund by way of tax breaks for buying an energy efficient vehicle). Therein lies the rub.

The government is the largest grant maker in the United States. It isn't the 1% or corporations. It is state and federal government. That is wrong on every level and does much to undermine a free market system. Taxpayers are continually funding things that are non-essential, wasteful and unjustified. If you have any doubts, read Senator Coburn's report on the National Science Foundation or The Blaze's highlights.

Two local stories this week focused on the installation of wind turbines. One is on a public school campus and the other is on a public university campus. Both are taxpayer funded.

In Keller, Texas, a Skystream wind turbine was installed on a middle school campus at a cost of $16,000. The expected return on investment, when the district will realize $16,000 worth of energy savings is 26 years. And that assumes no annual maintenance costs, no repairs needed, no change to the wind conditions. When questioned about the cost and ROI, note how quickly the powers that be turn it into an educational tool for the children:

As district spokesman Bryce Nieman said: "It's an instructional tool for students. Students can learn about energy conservation and other ways to generate electricity, alternate energy means."

He says the turbine helps trim the campus's energy bills. "It's better than nothing."

Really? Because I would have thought that saving $16,000 and using, oh, educational resources like books, video, the internet and field trips might be a better way to teach about energy conservation. Your best bet now is to use the windmill as an economics lesson - what not to do with taxpayer money.

Up the road at the University of North Texas, they recently installed three turbines with a $2 million grant from the State Energy Conservation Office. They are estimated to result in an energy savings of $50,000 per year. So, (and again ignoring maintenance, repair or changing energy costs) the ROI would be 40 years. That's great considering the lifespan of these turbines before "major repairs" are needed is 25 years.

This picture doesn't show it as clearly as I would hope, but these three turbines are in a ditch. If you notice the stadium lights in the background and compensate for the photo angle, you will see that the turbines aren't taller than the stadium. Interstate I-35W runs right alongside the site, and is elevated through the area. Driving by, you never look up at the turbines, they are pretty much at eye level. Are they going to capture the energy from the wind turbulence caused by the Peterbilt's rolling off the assembly line across the highway?

Picture from here

While they say the turbines are built for 'low wind' areas and claim that North Texas averages 12 mph wind speed - I don't think they'll get that at the height they have. I would also argue with their claim of our wind resources. North Texas has a Class 2 rating, also known as 'poor' on the renewable energy wind maps. Is it nuts that the DOE and State Energy Conservation Office generate maps and reports that show the lack of renewable energy resources in North Texas, yet shell out millions of dollars in those areas, for the very things that they say can't be captured?

All of this so that two school sites could be LEED certified. A letter to the editor of the Star-Telegram sums up my feeling about the green movement:

That's why almost every application of alternative energy comes with an ample helping of someone else's money. Sadly, that someone else is the taxpayer, about whom no one seems to care.

The kind of tree I can wrap my arms around

2011-12-30T05:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we ended up behind a Tesla Roadster coming through our little town. This particular one was kinda dirty and by the time I realized what it was, the light was changing and I needed to be driving and not taking a picture, so this is what I ended up with (cropped and enlarged to the point of distortion):

This is what they look like up close and all cleaned up:

I don't hug many trees and I have an impressive stash of incandescent light bulbs. I drive a monster SUV, but I could handle an electric car if it looked, and performed, like this one. Too bad I don't have $110k sitting around to drop on one (and four fewer family members to tote around).

(Whenever Crash sees a cool car and asks if we can get it, we talk about how many seats it has. I try to turn it into a fun math/object lesson. One of his favorites is a yellow and black Camaro, a la Transformers. I told him that there were only four seatbelts and asked which kid would have to walk to school. He never hesitated and blurted out, 'Boom.' Evil little turd)

When we left the intersection, the Tesla left us in its dust. Boom looked up the specs on her phone, while I was telling her what little I knew about the car. 0 to 60 mph in 3.7 seconds. 288 horsepower. And ninja freakin' quiet about it. As Boom read off the impressive performance info, she snidely commented, 'Suck on that Prius.' That's my girl.

Where the sun don't shine

2011-12-29T21:19:00.002-06:00

Someone please explain this to me. It clearly appears that she has something, some sort of mechanism or harness, under her skirt. And she has had lots of practice. Nothing I have read about this video says where it takes place, but the gist of some of the comments indicates that this method is used by European gypsies. (The best comment was 'Grand Theft Vagina').

And, yes, that is a CASE of 24 beer cans - Guinness to be precise. Reminds me of the Jane's Addiction video for 'Been Caught Stealing'.

Drudge Jumps the Shark

2011-12-29T08:58:00.001-06:00

On Christmas morning there was a shooting in a neighboring town, they are calling it the Grapevine Massacre. I'm not sure what officially qualifies something as a massacre versus a shooting or a murder-suicide, but what remains is that seven people are dead.

The details that have emerged are, unfortunately, not an unfamiliar story. An estranged marriage and financial strife are the known factors. And for other reasons we will probably never know, the shooter chose to kill his wife, children, other family members and himself.

The shooter was dressed as Santa upon arrival. The family apparently opened their Christmas gifts just before the shooting. It seems that the shooter was the one that dialed 911. All that is heard on the tape is 'help' and 'I am shooting people.' and this only after additional audio enhancement work - the original call was thought to be a silent open call.

There have been lovely pictures of the Iranian family, clearly having embraced western dress and customs.

Why in the world is Drudge running this headline?

UPDATE: Killer 'Santa' was a Muslim...

Based solely on an innocent comment from a family friend:

Baum said the separation was very difficult on the family’s father. Baum said the family was Muslim but celebrated Christmas as a cultural holiday. The parents were originally from Iran.

There is nothing about this crime and tragedy that is at all relevant to the family's religion. I don't believe that Islam is the religion of peace but these deaths are the result of a sick man - there is nothing to indicate that his faith had anything to do with his crime.

It isn't the first time that Drudge's link has produced much less than the link title advertised. Makes me wonder if they are hiring former Enquirer writers to craft their headlines.

How was it?

2011-12-28T05:26:00.001-06:00

How was your Christmas? Ours was lovely, in case you were wondering. I realized late in the game, all of the things that I hadn't done. Several boxes of Christmas decorations never made it out of the attic. We didn't do any outside lights at all. We didn't even get the kids' stockings out until about 9 pm on Christmas eve. The two youngest were in tucked in and ready to go to sleep when The Princess reminded me that we hadn't set out any cookies for Santa. Gawd, where has my brain gone?

Despite the lack of detail preparation, we had a nice time with family and friends. Miraculously, none of my kids were sick. That seems to be a Christmas and vacation tradition, someone not feeling well. But this year there were no tears and no fights. Lots of laughter and sharing of memories.

It has become my habit, because I know my husband and it doesn't bother me, to buy small things for myself that he and the kids can wrap and give to me. This year it was a glass baking dish to replace one that Mr H broke and a book of the Constitution and other important American documents. Christmas morning came and neither of those items were in my stack of gifts. It took 15 minutes of interrogation and backtracking before Mr H remembered where he had hidden them. At least it wasn't me this year.

Over at Whited's, he posted some really vulgar things that ungrateful people said about what they didn't get for Christmas. I am thankful that my children appreciate what they have, and what they are given - and enjoy being a giver just as much as a receiver. I am also thankful that my stern talk with the 4-year old seemed to work and he didn't show any outward disdain for the gifts (or lack thereof) he received.

I panicked a couple of days before Christmas, when my stepsister called me with a question about a size for The Princess' gift. Her line of questioning led me to believe that she was spending quite a bit more than I would have expected. This led me to run out and purchase an additional set of gifts for her and her daughter. Even when it became evident that I was wrong about the value of the gift, I reminded myself that it was the thought that counts. I decided that the extra money I spent on her and my niece would be appreciated, as she is a single mother and constantly reminds us of her financial struggles. Imagine my surprise when my (13-year old) niece's Christmas morning Facebook picture included her 'first blue box'. Unless Tiffany's has started carrying butt whoopings, they don't have anything that girl needs.

Tuesday Three-fer

2011-12-27T08:23:00.000-06:00

Three completely unrelated stories caught my attention this morning:

In the first, Nancy Pelosi is spending her holiday in Hawaii, albeit on a different island than the prez.

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, who served as Speaker of the House and is now head of the House minority, is once again spending her Christmas at the exotic Four Seasons Resort Hualalai at Historic Ka'upulehu in Kona on the island of Hawaii.

Pelosi reportedly plans to spend her Christmas Eve at midnight mass in St. Michael's Catholic Church in Kailua-Kona.

Pelosi spent the last two Christmas holidays in Kona at the same hotel in an elaborate suite that rents for $10,000 a night.

Champion of the 99%, slumming it in the $10k a night suite. Oh, and help me understand why the state of Hawaii's taxpayers have to foot the bill for her local police escort?

Pelosi has been escorted by local police during her last two holiday visits to Hawaii Island at a cost of $34,000 to local taxpayers.

Number one, I think that security needed while on a personal vacation shouldn't be the burden of American taxpayers, it should be on Pelosi's dime. But, let's grant her some latitude and acknowledge that there are people who want to do her harm - shouldn't a state representative of California's security costs be borne by the people of California? They are the only people that have a vote - making the people of Hawaii pay for her security is taxation without representation.

The second story is about the TSA's expansion to mass transportation stations, trains, subways, bus stations, etc.

The TSA's 25 "viper" teams — for Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response — have run more than 9,300 unannounced checkpoints and other search operations in the last year. Department of Homeland Security officials have asked Congress for funding to add 12 more teams next year...

...TSA officials say they have no proof that the roving viper teams have foiled any terrorist plots or thwarted any major threat to public safety. But they argue that the random nature of the searches and the presence of armed officers serve as a deterrent and bolster public confidence.

Don't you feel better, knowing there are 'viper' teams protecting our safety and deterring terrorist plots? In the story, they used a specific example of a man being sniffed down by a highly trained canine, who can detect bomb making chemicals. When the dog indicated a scent, the TSA handlers reverted to this highly effective interrogation method:

When Seiko indicated a scent, his handler, Julian Swaringen, asked Vetter whether he had pets at home in Garner, N.C. Two mutts, Vetter replied. "You can go ahead," Swaringen said.

Note to terrorists: go to the pound and adopt a dog to avoid TSA scrutiny.

Finally, I know I shouldn't laugh, because people got hurt, but the visual makes me giggle.

Chile's Supreme Court has ordered a newspaper to pay $125,000 to 13 people who suffered burns while trying out a published recipe for churros, a popular Latin American snack of dough fried in hot oil...

...Judges determined that the newspaper failed to fully test it before publication, and that if readers followed the recipe exactly, the churros had a good chance of exploding once the oil reached the suggested temperature...

...Days after the recipe was published in the paper's "Woman" magazine in 2004, hospitals around the country began treating women for burns suffered when the dough boiling in oil suddenly shot out of kitchen pots.

Walked a Thousand Miles Blues

2011-12-26T21:28:00.002-06:00

This blew me away. If any member of my family could sit around and play and sing like this bloke's dad, I would never get anything done. Fan-frickin'-tastic.

FOD Hawaii Edition

2011-12-26T05:19:00.000-06:00

Last week, Keith Koffler's White House Dossier reported on the possibility that Bo, the First Dog, had flown to Hawaii and then flown back a few days later for a photo op with Blowie at PetSmart. The First Lady's office had announced that Bo was flying with the family and an eyewitness in Hawaii had reported seeing the dog - as reported both in Hawaii and in continental stateside media outlets.

After the question of the cost of Bo's jet-setting came up, not only have the media outlets edited their stories to say that the White House claims that Bo did NOT accompany the women on the flight to Hawaii, but the eyewitness has now issued a ridiculously obvious spin doctor-crafted retraction statement:

"It is now clear my wife saw another black dog walking our neighborhood. We would like to apologize to Bo and the Obama family for any inconvenience this may have caused them. We would also like to wish them a peaceful and Merry Christmas."

I ain't buying it. I would have bought, 'Bo flew back on Air Force one when it returned to the states after dropping the First Family off in Hawaii.' I wouldn't have liked it any better, but it would have been believable.

Regardless, the whole family is in Hawaii now. As Koffler highlighted in other entries, the champion of the $40 middle class tax cut has already had expensive Morimoto sushi and squeezed in a round of golf with friends.

Contrast the $4 million dollar Obama vacation with this story:

A Marine who survived the attack on Pearl Harbor has returned to the USS Arizona -- divers placed the urn holding Frank Cabiness' cremated remains inside the battleship sunk by the Japanese 70 years ago.

"He said it was because that's where he belonged," the late Marine's son, Jerry Cabiness, said after Friday's solemn ceremony. "He lost all of his friends there and he wanted to be with them."

The divers swam over to the sunken battleship and placed the container inside.

Hawaii-based Marines from the 3rd Marine Regiment performed a rifle salute and taps Friday, some nine years after Cabiness died in Lewisville, Texas, at the age of 86.

Jerry Cabiness said his father always wanted to return to his ship, but his family took some time to fulfill that wish because of some financial problems and the expense of traveling to Hawaii.

"But we finally got it done. And it was a beautiful ceremony. The Marines did him proud," he said.

The American taxpayers fly dogs (with or without the family, it doesn't really dilute the point), maybe they should start filling up the rest of Air Force One with the common man who is just trying to fulfill their father's last wish.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T05:04:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope your day is filled with reminders of how precious this life is. I will be spending the day surrounded by my children, taking special care to commit the day to memory, as they grow up entirely too fast. To all of my internet friends, it is a pleasure to share time with you. God Bless You and Your Families.

Effing Elf on the Shelf

2011-12-24T09:07:00.001-06:00

Tonight we say goodbye to Henrey, our family's 'Elf on the Shelf'. If you are unfamiliar, this modern day money making and parental torture scheme consists of a boxed set containing a book and a small elf doll. The book tells the story of these elves that swoop down into homes during the Christmas season, to watch the children and report back to Santa each night, turning up in a different spot upon their return each morning.

A couple of years ago, a classmate of The Princess' told her about the 'Elf on the Shelf'. She was enthralled, so we dropped $30 at the local booksellers and acquired our very own elf. While presented as a family addition, The Princess took charge, naming him (quirky spelling included) and registering him on the 'Elf on the Shelf' website (cha-ching). Those first two years were a delight, as the kids would look for Henrey each morning as he worked his way to each child's bedroom and around the house. We played the free online games and got emails from Henrey a couple of times a year.

This year, some mother with too much time on her hands purchased and assumed the responsibilities of an 'Elf on the Shelf' for The Princess' class. From Thanksgiving to the end of the semester, 'Jingles' entertained the third grade with his antics. He was a very active elf, sometimes moving around several times a day while the class was out of the room. Jingles wrote notes, sprinkled glitter and did various other mischief around the school.

Jingles' presence and antics spurred much conversation among the third grade. The other children with elves at home shared the quirky things their elves do and demand. The Princess reported to us each evening, all of these things that we were previously unaware of, but now required to comply with. First it was note writing - with The Princess penning long missives that she taped near Henrey each evening, all of them requiring a response. Thank goodness a classmate had informed The Princess that elves write in 'candy cane sparkle' ink, so we knew what to expect.

Then it was food. The Princess was informed by her helpful classmates that elves like candy, so she left pieces of candy next to him each night. Jingles wrote the class a note extolling the elves' love of cheese and crackers. When I refused to set out cheese and crackers on a nightly basis, The Princess wrote Henrey a note telling him to help himself to the crackers in the pantry.

As if the holidays aren't busy enough, the responsibility of making sure an Elf doll shows up in a different spot each morning is somewhat challenging. Henrey sometimes likes a spot so much he spends two days there. Don't judge me, I have a lot on my plate. Then one day The Princess reported that elves don't just sit - they are usually found in funny positions, laying in plants and hanging from things. Boom and Bang took an active interest in assisting Henrey in this department, until I put an end to it after finding Henrey wrapped around a candlestick in a manner that made me feel as if I should stuff dollar bills down his shirt.

In response to the popularity of the 'Elf on the Shelf' scheme, there is now a complete line of products, a paid area of the website, and, my favorite, a parody book about a bad 'Elf Off the Shelf', Horace. Horace tries to hook up with Barbie, commenting that he never would have guessed she was such a prude. Now that is a funny read.

When I Googled to find the picture of the book, up popped several websites about creative things to do with your elf. One was aptly titled 'Elf on the Shelf Ideas', with photos of elves found playing Guitar Hero, having 'snowball' fights staged with mini marshmallows and other Christmas figures, making a photocopy of his butt...hilarious stuff, but Good Lord, who has the time for this? (And yes, I did bookmark the site for future use).

The list of things we know about elves now is a long one. After recounting it all one night, and complaining about the thoughtless parents that set these precedents for the rest of us, I joked that we should set Henrey up in a manner that would result in The Princess going to school and reporting that elves require a six-pack and a hundred dollar bill each night, to guarantee a good report to Santa.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2011-12-23T08:58:00.000-06:00

What is the big deal with wrapping presents? Seriously, is this anything other than a mechanism to enrich decorative paper producers? My frustration has nothing to do with the fact that it seems like I have been wrapping presents for weeks - and stayed up until 2 am two nights in a row to wrap after the kids went to bed. Two mornings from now, all of that paper and ribbon will be tossed about and ultimately stuffed into a big black trash bag - hours of work cast aside in a matter of minutes.

It will be cold here on Christmas morning, maybe this year we could get a fire going and toss the paper in as we go, to save me the heartburn of looking at it after the fact.

My stepsister is a bagger - everything in a gift bag, never batting an eye. I don't have a problem with it, but in what seems to be some midwestern version of Christmas snobbery, my mom's side of the family has always eschewed the easy way out. If I don't wrap and ribbon-top the gifts, it clearly means I don't care as much. Or some such BS.

The kids do love tearing through the paper, though. Typically, I give my kids some clothing staples (socks, underwear, T-shirts) for Christmas. The usual reaction is a roll of the eyes as they toss the items into the 'clothes' pile. Often the boys call for the telltale rectangular clothing boxes first, to get them out of the way. Bearing this in mind, along with paper cut-striped fingers, I handed Bang his Christmas ration of athletic socks yesterday, rather than wrap them. (It also played into the careful balance of how many boxes each kid would have on Christmas morning - value means nothing, it is all a numbers game). I thought he would appreciate one less boring gift to open, but he seemed a little disappointed.

We have a loosely enforced rule at Harper House. I have no problem with the shaking and good-natured guessing of the contents, but the smarmy (mostly teenage) pronouncements of what each package contains tick me off, so I instituted a rule that if they guess what a present is, it gets donated to someone else (an empty threat, but it keeps them cordial). Bless The Princesses' heart, she was arranging gifts under the tree and noticed that one of hers was ticking. I saw the look on her face, as she struggled with the knowledge and the possibility of what could happen, should she mention it.

I think it is winding down, just a few batches of candy to make, a couple of hearty meals, plenty of adult beverages and the joy of having my family together, healthy, happy and undeniably blessed.

More White House Email Fun

2011-12-22T05:11:00.000-06:00

The White house is clogging my inbox again, this time with a series of messages aimed at the payroll tax cut. First they sent something titled 'This Isn't a Game' and asked for people to respond with what $40 per paycheck means to their family. Today they followed up with another email and a (left side only) sample of the responses they have gotten...

"$40 is big money for us"

Yesterday, we asked you to tell us what losing $40 per paycheck would mean to you and your family if the House doesn’t pass the bipartisan payroll tax cut compromise by the end of this year.

The response was truly overwhelming. Thousands of Americans have responded and we wanted to make sure you saw some of the responses that have poured in from across the country.

If you haven't already, tell us what $40 means for you and your family, and see what it means for other Americans.

Have questions about the payroll tax cut? Today at 3:30 p.m. EDT, Brian Deese, Deputy Director of the National Economic Council, will be holding Office Hours on the @WHLive Twitter account - join in the conversation using the hashtag #WHChat.

Stories submitted on WhiteHouse.gov
I can buy lunch from the cafeteria for almost a whole month for my twins, I can buy food, or pay for gas. I can save it for my daughter’s prescriptions deductibles. To some people $40 is nothing, but $40 is big money for us.
L.A., Hamden, Connecticut

$40.00 a paycheck will allow me to continue to pay co-pays to doctors for necessary medical treatments needed to control debilitating disease.J.R., Arlington, Texas

Our cable internet bill is $49 per month. If we lose this payroll tax cut then we will have to give up either or internet access or possibly our 'Friday Family Pizza' night. Either way, we will lose something that brings us together as a family.
K.Z., Frederick, Maryland

$40 less a paycheck means I will have to pick between my insulin and the water bill. It means never being able to see my doctor - even though I have insurance.
B.T., Roswell, New Mexico

The email droned on with other examples from email and Twitter, ad nauseum. Then this additional opportunity to communicate with the White House:

Tell us what $40 means for you and your family.

So I clicked. Here is my short and sweet response that won't be showing up on any White House missives:

$40 per paycheck means that in 1,923 years we can afford a Christmas vacation like the president's.

The best gift ideas...

2011-12-21T05:24:00.001-06:00

...often go down in flames.

Last Saturday, my stepdad had a run-in with a skunk. A comical, wake up the neighbors with 17 rounds fired at o'dark thirty, kind of a run-in. My stepdad is an early riser and he generally makes a predictable circuit, walking out to the back of the property to the barn/man cave, to turn everything on in preparation for his morning workout, then out to the street to get the newspaper. He was returning from getting the paper, having come in the backyard gate to enter through the patio door, when he almost ran headlong into the skunk. He gave it a wide berth, heading back out to the barn to get his old .22.

This was probably around 5:30 -6 am and it was still quite dark. He was doing his best to hold a flashlight and fire at the skunk with his old .22, since the controls for the outside lights were all on the other side of the skunk. After several rounds fired, my mom was awake enough to determine that he probably needed assistance. When she came out, the skunk had been declared dead and she was supposed to hold the flashlight while a shovel was fetched to scoop up the carcass. She spotlighted the skunk, who was apparently only dazed, and began wobbling around again.

Tired of this, my stepdad called for a handgun, the noise of which woke up the house guests and several neighbors (if lights suddenly switching on is an indicator), yet didn't phase the skunk, whose drunken movements in the dark were a hard-to-hit target. The shooter was blaming the flashlight holder, who was flailing wildly, trying to cover her ears. I wish there was video, it would make us at least $10,000.

After being berated for the noise of the handgun, my stepdad picked up the old .22 again, positioned and threatened the flashlight holder (mom) and FINALLY got the skunk between the eyes.

After hearing the story, I thought the perfect gift would be a red dot and flashlight scope for the .22. Sure, it's overkill, but there are some inexpensive versions and it would make the old .22 a true varmint gun for my stepdad in his leisure years. I called my mom and asked about the make and model of the .22, for fit. 'Old' was her reply. "I know," I said, "that's why we call it the 'old .22'".

It took several days before mom had the opportunity to get me the specs on the gun, 'Old' is the understatement of the year. It is a Remington Model 33. They stopped making them in 1935. Anything I could buy would probably be worth more than the damn gun.

I don't have a new .22 in my budget at this point, but think I will keep it in mind for his September birthday. The Remington was his granddad's, so it should be put up and saved, not pulled out for skunk shooting.

On Christmas Shopping for teens

2011-12-20T09:52:00.000-06:00

My kids aren't label conscious, and shopping for Bang is more about finding the right size for his stringbean shape. He has grown nearly 3 inches since May, losing the same amount of girth for each gained inch of height (how I would love to have that problem). His existing wardrobe is driving me nuts, as the waist now allows for a Snoop Dogg level droop - something that Bang is loathe to rectify, as hitching up the pants puts him in 'where's the flood?' territory.

The girls and I set out to find some new pants for the boy, and a shirt or two to accompany. We stepped into the first hipster teen shop. You know, one of those with a shockingly young, half naked, ripped abs model on a larger than life canvas at the front entrance. We were eventually greeted by a trendy young retail employee who screamed, "Can I help you find anything?," over the blaring music. We shouldn't have dismissed her so soon. It was friggin' dark in that store. Even with two pairs of young eyes, we struggled for several minutes to see prices and sizes. They clearly don't want to sell anything to anyone who cares about price or size.

We left that store and tried one other that was equally as dark, loud and un-shoppable. I haven't looked it up, but have to believe that they are owned by the same parent company. The third store was a welcome change. Music at a level that allowed for conversation, brightly lit, and friendly young employees that weren't too hip to talk to us. Not only did we make several purchases, we commented on the pleasant experience and vowed to not return to the other stores. WTF kind of business do they think they are in? And, no offense to the store we liked (that has American in the name), but all of the clothes look the same, they just have a different logo.

The other thing I want to complain about is the lack of access. It was two steps up (and then two steps down) into both of those dark stores. I didn't notice an accessible entrance, though maybe their hip wooden louvered shutters can be opened to allow someone in a wheelchair in. It wouldn't matter, because they don't leave enough room to walk between their racks and tables, much less maneuver a chair or walker. In fact, there were very few stores that do leave enough space. The local costume jewelry chain has packed their small store with twice as many racks as it should accommodate. Even Toys R Us was impassable with added bins and tables in the aisles that made it impossible to walk more than single file - no way a wheelchair could access. I am still fortunate enough to walk without an assisting device (until my knee surgery next month), but feel even more fortunate that I can choose not to shop at stores that clearly can't accommodate everyone.

A bit of a glitch, in more than one way

2011-12-19T13:04:00.000-06:00

I took this quiz to see which presidential candidate's platform matched my own. Bearing in mind that the canned answers to each question leave a bit to be desired, I thought I should still get a fairly accurate prediction.

Wrong.

Not only did it choose a candidate that I don't support (Michele Bachmann) - I am fairly certain that most of my answers were nowhere near her stated beliefs. And to add to the ABC news provided comedy bit, this is a screen shot of my results - Michele is looking a bit haggard these days:

Even more confusing, is that I clicked 'play again', entered the SAME answers and got a DIFFERENT response. I was thinking the Ron Paul picture in place of Bachmann was a one-time glitch, but no. I got Ron as Michele, with Ron also as a runner up.

I am not sure if it is just a ridiculously flawed program, or whether putting in the same answers and getting different candidates, within the same 10 minutes, is just a reflection on how often the media and the candidates change their positions.

FOD

2011-12-19T09:37:00.002-06:00

A vicious stomach bug is making its way through Harper House. I blame Obama.

The creative rebellion of today's youth

2011-12-18T06:30:00.001-06:00

I am not an overly controlling mother, but a responsible one. I try not to judge, but I fail miserably at times, when observing the parenting habits of others. Case in point; a condition of my daughter having a Facebook is that I have the password. Some of what those other kids post clearly shows that their parents are not at all involved or monitoring the site.

Seriously, if your 16-year old daughter is posting pictures of the guys in her room with a handle of vodka - you have missed the parenting boat. There is a monumental chasm between kids getting away with things that their parents don't know about and the kids not only doing it, but having the guts (or lack of common sense) to post photos of their misdeeds on the internet. Isn't that a cry for help or something?

I don't routinely check up on Boom. She isn't a regular FB user, and has never posted anything risque. I have only asked her to un-friend a couple of people who were insanely inappropriate in their use of language and photos. I do sometimes use Boom's FB to check on things other members of my family have posted (I am not FB friends with anyone I am related to, for my sanity). When I log in with Boom's credentials, I am often greeted with a vivid snapshot of teenage life. Tonight it was humor, and I almost wet my pants.

One of Boom's classmates is Indian and her family is Hindu, the strict vegetarian sort. Now, they have some specific rules for their daughter that seem strict, and this darling girl is becoming a poster child for repression rebellion. Her FB statuses are littered with profanity. She presented her Secret Santa his gift in a bag that said, 'F*ck You, Here's your present', never batting an eye at what the teachers would say.

With all that angst, I was worried that maybe this girl would start drinking or do something else dangerously irresponsible. I should have remembered how smart she is. How do brilliant but repressed Indian girls act out at their parents? Like this:

'Parents are out of town. Time to eat bacon and watch trashy reality TV'.

Lessons in losing

2011-12-17T08:18:00.000-06:00

For my Texas friends, that chill you felt in the evening air last night was hell starting to freeze over for a couple of hours, caused by the juxtaposition of Harper being willingly seated in Cowboy's Stadium.

I don't like to do anything to contribute to Jerry Jones' bottom line, so yesterday was a true test of my patience. Especially at $15 a ticket for high school football (no child or student discount). We had a pretzel, a hot dog, a popcorn, cotton candy, a soft drink and three bottled waters = $42. Makes me quite curious as to the price of the prime rib they were slicing at one of the fancy concession stands.

We trekked to the stadium for the high school football state championships. Our local town made it to the big game, and even though my kids go to school somewhere else now, we wanted to go see the game and support our friends and neighbors.

It must be fun for those kids, to play on the big field, to be up on the gigantic screen and to wait for television time outs. I am sure some teams handle the honor and accomplishment with grace. Others, not so much.

A good friend of Boom's is one of the team trainers, so we started off by searching the sidelines to spot her. As we did that, I noted the overwhelming number of people that were on the sidelines - that had no reason to be there. While most of the player's dads were in the stands, there were dozens of guys on the sideline. People without kids in high school at all, much less a player on the field. Hangers-on, I think they are called. Golfing buddies of the coach, the local megachurch preacher, and - most sickening of all - the private conditioning coaches. These high school kids have private coaches that work with them outside of the school (and UIL) parameters. Everything you have heard about high school football in Texas is true, and then some.

'We' didn't win, and while I feel for the team, I hope that they take away the lessons that are so often missed in today's society. Humility, grace, dealing with disappointment, facing challenges and being proud of the individual accomplishments that outweigh the final score.

Vacation?

2011-12-16T07:26:00.000-06:00

As it seems with all 'vacations', mom gets stuck with a monumental task list. Today is the last day of school before Christmas vacation, which translates to:

gifts for friends
gifts for Secret Santa (usually the one kid we know nothing personal about)
cupcakes for 60 third graders
juice boxes for preschool lunch (I nabbed one of the easy things on the sign up sheet)
teacher gifts
ornaments for exchange
book for exchange
5 pounds of Christmas Crack made (which is what my kids call a certain white treat we make because it is addictive)
12 dozen spritz cookies for gift tins (broke the gun in the process)
Christmas trail mix for Mr H's IT department (something I threw together with leftover things one year and they think it is the best mix they have ever had)
Gift card for a holiday meal (the required donation for my luncheon today)

I think that is it. Now, all I have left is baking, candy making, Christmas shopping and wrapping for family and friends. I can get that accomplished with four kids in tow, right?

Dear Editor:

2011-12-15T17:27:00.000-06:00

Texans Defensive Coordinator Wade Phillips was recovering Thursday morning after a successful surgery, sources told KHOU 11 News.

Phillips, 64, had his gallbladder removed and an unspecified procedure performed on a kidney, according to the source.

However, Texans head coach Gary Kubiak said the defensive coordinator was still undergoing the procedure while meeting with the media after practice on Thursday.

Wow. If Wade Phillips can have his gallbladder removed while meeting with the media, why couldn't he effectively coach the Cowboys?

I did it half way

2011-12-15T06:42:00.002-06:00

I'm no runner, I will admit that right up front. In the required P.E. class I had to take in high school, I perfected the 400 meter ankle sprain - staging a fall on the first lap of the mile so I could be excused and sent to the nurse's office.

I have never liked to run, and I don't really envy those people who do. I understand that many people really enjoy running - and good for them. I am not one of those people. If you see me running, someone is behind me with a gun.

I have never had the slightest desire to run a marathon. I have walked the kid's 5k course at the Cowtown Marathon and seen the ultra marathoners with their cool medals and lithe bodies, but have never been inspired to give it a go myself.

I imagine that having such a commitment to running is commendable - it just isn't something within my realm of understanding. The thought of it makes my teeth ache. I feel no need to test my limits. I am good right here, thank you.

So, having established that I harbor no ill will toward those that enjoy running as a hobby and/or form of exercise, I will say that every time I see one of these bumper stickers, I laugh:

What in the world does that say about the owner? I ran HALF a marathon. A whole HALF. I would have run the whole thing but 13 is my lucky number, so I quit there. It seems more like an admission of failure to me. And is it really politically correct to hijack the number significance of a race that is named after Phiedippedes' historic 26 mile run to Athens from Marathon to report that the Athenians had won the battle of Marathon? If he had only run 13 miles, there might be a much different history known to man.

Mayor Dipshit of WTFville

2011-12-13T23:31:00.002-06:00

Why do the idiots of the world persevere? Seriously, why do the most jacked up, embarrassing excuses for humans seem to forge on, while good people struggle and face adversity?

Back in the spring, my town elected a buffoon for mayor. You may be thinking to yourself, 'Harper is just saying that because she doesn't like his politics'. You are wrong.

He is a convicted criminal. All Class A misdemeanors, and it takes a Class B to be legally disqualified. You woulda thought that nine charges ranging from deadly conduct to DWI would keep someone from getting elected, but that isn't the case around here. Buffoon.

He has told colorful stories about his arrest record. Apparently he doesn't realize that those convictions are a matter of public record. Most recently, he was convicted of a DWI. He got pulled over four months prior to the election - he was actually under indictment for the charge when 254 deranged people voted him into office. He had an excuse for the DWI, first telling a lively tale of having two beers with his dinner and getting pulled over. Then he changed the story and claimed that it was really all about some confusion over an open container found in his car - because he had been picking up litter that included beer cans. Those records (and evidence photos) are also open to the public (though he is unaware). You be the judge - was there any reason to question the sobriety of the driver of this car?

The buffoon is a pathological liar. He lies about everything, with no apparent reason. Among the bios he gave various media outlets during the election, he has given four different answers as to his college education. All of them are lies. I don't think he realizes that people can check transcripts. I don't think he realizes that some people read more than one local news site. Looking at the bio he gave our local paper, compared to what I know now, the ONLY things he didn't lie about were his name and age. Seriously. Everything else is a fabrication.

This ~~man~~ tool is making a mockery of my town. He follows town workers around, questioning everything they do. He slept with the town receptionist (there's some job security for her). His mother attends every meeting and hisses at anyone that questions her baby boy. It is too juvenile and embarrassing to fully describe.

Tonight, I disagreed with him and he told me that from that point forward, I could only speak when he gave me permission. He said this in a public forum. In an official town meeting. On tape. For the record. In front of my son and his Boy Scout Troop. I haven't ever wanted to do someone real physical harm before, in the way that I wanted to snap the neck holding up his pudgy fuckface. I had a red zone, psychotic-episode type of irrational violent thought - with the image of his bloody dented skull making me smile.

I didn't shut up, incidentally. Not tonight, not ever. I might not be there to kick around in a few months, but you can rest assured I am going to leave you with some battle scars to remember me by.

Maybe for fun I will put his DWI dashcam video on YouTube and send the link out to the town email list.

Good Tuesday to you

2011-12-13T08:39:00.001-06:00

Crazy busy morning. Later, maybe.

FOD

2011-12-12T05:30:00.000-06:00

After a dreary summer marred by the fight over government borrowing, rank-and-file Democrats say they are growing more optimistic about President Barack Obama's political prospects in 2012. They cite his tougher, more populist tone and what they view as a chaotic primary fight among Republicans.

And...

Mary Gail Gwaltney, a member of the Democratic National Committee from Las Cruces, N.M., said she felt stronger about Obama now "because I'm looking at the other party's field and they don't have a strong candidate."

Good Gawd. We can't survive another four years of Blowie. Please, please, someone get their act together and unite the conservative side of America.

Party Time

2011-12-11T08:19:00.000-06:00

Went to Mr H's annual corporate command performance Christmas party last night. It really isn't a bad event, it just isn't great. The CEO hosts at his house and the guest list is small - just senior management and the corporate office drones. I am guessing there were about 35-40 hostages waiting on the first one to make a break for it, which opens the floodgates. No one gets snockered. There is usually a lively billiards competition in the game room. There is good food. I don't eat shellfish (since a nasty incident at Beefsteak Charlie's as a kid) so the stampede to the shrimp cocktail always amuses me. There is always a lovely beef tenderloin and several dessert selections in the butler's pantry. The CEO's teenager tends bar and short pours everything. Each year the beer selections change, yet no Shiner. Next year I swear I am bringing my own.

This week serves up several Christmas luncheons, but then our 'required' events are complete and we can focus on family stuff. It strikes me as odd, the stories and lawsuits against 'Christmas' and the homogenization of the Christian and Jewish holidays into 'winter holidays' - yet no one balks at the time off of work or school. No atheist parents showing up at school board meetings and demanding that someone show up to teach little Sunbeam on December 25 (yeah, I know it is on a Sunday this year). I don't know of any non-Christians that weren't bellying up to the buffet at the party last night.

We are a 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy Hanukkah' kind of family. I love the traditional trappings of the season (I can do without the additional market driven distractions); decorating, bad-for-you food, parties, cards, gifts, time with family and friends, and the music...

Christmas Chores

2011-12-10T05:26:00.001-06:00

I have to hit it hard this weekend and get some Christmas shopping and running around done. My kids get out of school for the holidays on the 16th, so all of the school-related gifts for friends and teachers need to be finalized. Mr H conveniently planned a business trip during the week, so I am on my own for the Christmas-related activities that are punctuating our already busy schedule.

If I were a rich girl (Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum), I would do stuff like this. I think it would be cool to secretly surprise people with little displays of generosity. We have our family traditions, year round, that we do to try to bring others joy and comfort. All too often, I am left wishing I had more to give.

I love these flash mob things, maybe I will get caught up in one at the mall today (yeah, right):

Random bits

2011-12-08T21:52:00.001-06:00

I owe you a review of 'Unite or Die!'. It was great. I am trying to secure The Princesses' copy of the script to share some of the bits that got a reaction out of the audience. There is video, but I am reluctant to post other people's kids on my personal blog without explicit permission. I am extremely proud of The Princess, as she had two speaking parts, neither of which had been practiced at home (so the five syllable words were quite impressive), and both of which she delivered perfectly. Though styled as a Reader's Theater, several of the kids (including mine) had memorized their parts, and all of the third graders ended the performance with a rousing presentation of "Fifty Nifty United States", the song they sing naming all of the states (in alphabetical order, no less). 'Fifty Nifty' had been practiced at home. Repeatedly. For weeks. Several times a day. In the house. In the yard. In the car. You get the idea. I am proud my daughter can name all of the states, but am glad this learning unit is over.

I feel like crud all of a sudden, my throat started to bother me tonight, somewhere in between the preschool Christmas program and the high school basketball game. My knee is throbbing, with my physical therapist having given up on me. I go back to the doc next week, since therapy has made things worse. My therapist said that she would expect the doc to restrict me to being non-weight bearing for a few weeks. Great, now I have to get all my Christmas running around done before I am on crutches. Although I like the looks of those electric scooters at Wal-Mart. I could get some shopping done with wheels...

My friend GOC is weighing heavily on my mind. As I write this, we just got word that he has been in the hospital after what his brother-in-law termed a 'mini-stroke'. Denny hadn't posted since Monday and then hadn't responded to friendly attempts to reach him, so we knew something was up. Praying for his speedy recovery and glad that he has a good support system there in Georgia.

Phallic Food Ban

2011-12-08T06:53:00.001-06:00

An Islamic cleric in Europe has reportedly ruled women should be forbidden from touching — or even being near — bananas and cucumbers because their oblong shapes can make women think of sex.

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

There you have it, guys. The secret to getting your woman all hot and bothered. Forget wine and roses. No fancy jewelry or romantic talk needed. Take a tour of the produce department.

Ice cream cones, bomb pops, push ups? Because, obviously, we of the weaker sex can't put our tongue on anything without wishing it were somewhere else.

What about hot dogs? Corn dogs? Twinkies? Egg rolls? Burritos?

Crash will be ticked off, but his lollipop habit will have to be curbed. Momma can't see those without needing a cold shower. GMAFB.

Now, the sight of these might cause a little wishful thinking:

back story here, language NSFW

Remembering Pearl Harbor

2011-12-07T13:17:00.000-06:00

Seventy years. What saddens me most about today is the lack of acknowledgment, the dearth of television specials, parades, patriotism on display. It shouldn't catch people by surprise, as they write the date on a document, that today is the seventieth anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. There should have been weeks and days of planning to mark the occasion.

The number of survivors is dwindling as age catches up with them. The Pearl Harbor Survivors Association will officially disband at the end of the year - there simply aren't enough of them still alive to keep the organization running. Will we do their service justice, or continue down this path of forgetting and treating this day like any other?

looking up from the USS Arizona Memorial

Unite or Die!

2011-12-07T07:27:00.002-06:00

Unite or Die! is the title of the third grade play I am on my way to see this morning. I am intrigued and anxious to see the third grade interpretation of the American Revolution. In addition to the normal little bits of entertainment; the boys who make faces or pick their noses, the shy ones that clam up with stage fright, etc., there is the addition of costuming that will likely add an additional chuckle or two.

Noting that colonial tricorns aren't that easy to come by this time of year, the teacher sent out a request for pirate hats. The hats are probably close, but the Jack Sparrow mentality prevails. In my mind I hear, "Arrrrrrgggggh, the British be coming."

I will report back this afternoon.

To snooze or not to snooze

2011-12-06T07:47:00.002-06:00

I am not a snooze alarm person. Never have been. My mom was a single parent that usually left for work before I even got up, so I was responsible for getting up, dressed, fed, lunch packed and to the bus stop on time. If I didn't make it, I was in for a long walk. In the snow, uphill both ways. Okay, not uphill both ways, but from October to April, snow was likely.

While not a snooze person, I was a to-the-minute alarm setter. I knew exactly how long it took me to accomplish all of my tasks and I set my alarm to allow every possible minute of sleep. If I wanted to do something special with my hair or wardrobe, I might calculate a few extra minutes. I was never a morning homework doer, instead staying up late to get it done. I never found much reward in having time to kill that could have been spent sleeping.

Bang is a morning person. Up at the crack of dawn or earlier, and he wakes up hungry. While he talks a big game, he just can't stay up late (yet). He is a morning homework kid. He is up, fed and dressed by the time Boom is finally rolling out of bed. Back when we had a coffee maker, he would hit the start button for us when he got up. Makes his own breakfast. Packs his own lunch. Always has time to listen to music and mess around before it is time to leave for school.

Boom has never been a ray of sunshine in the morning, but she used to be much better about getting up. Neither of my teenagers are sleep-til-noon kids unless they are sick, but Boom is edging toward it. The siren call of the internet while doing computer-based homework has been keeping her up late. She isn't so much a social networking kid, instead spending her time reading books online and texting half the night. And she has a new love affair with her snooze alarm.

I had to wake Boom up twice last week when she kept hitting the snooze, cutting it dangerously close. There is no room for error when school is 10 miles away and there is no alternative mode of transport. If one kid is late, it makes them all late. I know that the time is coming for Boom to face the consequences of her actions. One morning I am just going to have to let her sleep in and miss school. Of course, I have to plan carefully to make sure it isn't a test day, or a day that she doesn't miss anything and get a free vacation.

Maybe I can use that day off of school to force her to learn the other life lessons she has been avoiding. Like laundry.

About that tsunami relief fund...updated

2011-12-05T09:29:00.002-06:00

This story about an ultra-luxury car wreck is all over the news today.

An outing of luxury sportscar enthusiasts in Japan ended in an expensive freeway pileup — smashing a stunning eight Ferraris, a Lamborghini and two Mercedes likely worth more than $1 4 million together.

Yes, it is cringe-inducing. Such a waste of good auto-porn. The price tag has risen to $4 million or better - and I still don't think that includes the cost of the Prius.

Is anyone else struck by the thought that just eight months ago, we were sending piles of money, supplies, personnel and other resources to Japan after the March 11 tsunami?

Granted, $4 million is a lot of money in cars, and not quite so impressive in the face of a $300 billion disaster, but...the image of a group of luxury car owners out for a Sunday drive and gathering leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Japan is smaller than California. It isn't as if the tsunami and nuclear disaster in the north of the country went unnoticed. And it isn't as if everything is back to normal. While little kids all over the world cracked open their piggy banks to 'save Japan', what were these folks doing? Not selling their cars for the cause, apparently.

FOD

2011-12-05T05:49:00.000-06:00

Blowie is going to make a speech in Osawatomie, Kansas this week.

When I first read this tidbit, I couldn't stop giggling. I grew up 30 miles from Osawatomie, Kansas. When I was a kid there was only one thing that Osawatomie was known for - the state insane asylum. Sure, they had changed the name to 'State Hospital' before I was born, but no one called it that. When kids acted up, there was always the threat of being 'sent to Osawatomie'. It used to have an imposing main building that looks like the asylum of everyone's nightmares, but was notable for being a Kirkbride:

My grandparents and their friends talked of the odd person or relative that had been committed to the hospital. Tales were told of the horrific sites and jarring sounds that mark any facility where the severely mentally ill reside. The decades before psychiatric drugs were terrifying times filled with electric shock, lobotomies and straightjackets. They used to talk about the residents being taken outside in their straightjackets and tied to the fence so they could get fresh air without harming themselves or wandering off.

Sounds like just the place for Blowie.

Blowie's staff is steering the media toward the historical significance of the site:

One reason Obama picked the Kansas town, situated about 60 miles southwest of Kansas City, was for an historical tie. President Theodore Roosevelt, a Republican, spoke in the town in 1910, a year after he left the presidency. In that address, to a crowd then estimated at 30,000, Roosevelt called for what he called a “New Nationalism where everyone gets a fair chance, a square deal, and an equal opportunity to succeed,” the White House said.

Great, another class warfare and pro-socialism speech.

The other thing that Osawatomie is known for is its connection to John Brown.

John Brown, considered a fanatical abolitionist by some and a martyr by others, is closely associated with the pro-slavery and free-state struggle of the Kansas Territorial period, 1854-1861. John Brown followed five of his sons to Kansas in 1855 where he saw an opportunity to help make Kansas a free state-bringing a wagon load of weapons along with him.

Some call John Brown the first home grown terrorist. But, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a Blowie photo op in John Brown Park or the John Brown Museum. John Brown was the only white man that Malcolm X said he would consider letting join the Organization of Afro-American Unity (though I doubt he would have actually said that if Brown had still been alive).

Don't kid yourself. Blowie acquiesced to speak in a mostly Red, flyover state only because he found a city that appeals to his crazy black half.

Home for the Holidays

2011-12-04T06:03:00.000-06:00

Blowie is headed to the islands again, for a 17 day vacation. Wasn't he just in Hawaii last month?

I, for one, have adopted my friend Whited's view. If he ain't in Washington, he isn't mucking things up as much (we hope). So, bon voyage, Barack.

I think it is incredibly poor timing and poor taste on his part. Our leader should be the very image of austerity considering the economy. Instead, he is taking a vacation to a place many people have no hope of ever being able to visit due to cost, and he is going for seventeen freaking days! Good for us, maybe he will tick off a few more people with this show of extravagance. Maybe Peggy Joseph and the lady with 15 kids will realize that he really isn't their savior.

For the rest of us middle class working and tax paying stiffs, prepare to take it in the caboose. This isn't a budget vacation:

THE HEFTY HOLIDAY BILL

Last year the Obama's Christmas trip to Hawaii cost more than $1 million.

He covered the cost of his family's accommodation, but the rest was covered by the taxpayers.

The bill to house Secret Service agents and Navy Seals in beach front accommodation stretched to $16,800.

A further hotel bill of $134,400 covered 24 White House staff staying in the Moana Hotel at a rate of $400 a day.

The estimate, by the Hawaii Reporter, also included $250,000 for local police overtime, $1 million for the president's own round trip flight to Hawaii on Air Force One, and $10,000 for a local ambulance to accompany the presidential motorcade.

Paulsibilities?

2011-12-03T05:52:00.000-06:00

The other day I talked about the Republican's party's nominee. As the nation anxiously awaits Herman Cain's 'big announcement, I will venture a guess that he is done. I agree with anything you could say - there is a double standard (Clinton/Flowers/Lewinsky, JFK/and every bombshell of the era, Jefferson and his slave baby mama, Garfield, Harding, FDR, Ike, LBJ), I don't really think a politician's sex life is any of my business. It is my business if they lie about it once confronted. It is a problem if it wasn't consensual or violated marriage vows. Character flaws need to be examined.

I heard a radio pundit point out that Cain's statement that he was 'reassessing' was the end of the campaign. Even if Cain meant it as precisely what he said, the American psyche isn't wired to invest in someone who might be gone next week. No intelligent person would invest in a product if the company's president announced that may not be in business in the near future. I though it was odd and telling that Cain's campaign staff took to Facebook to ask his supporters to send him notes to encourage him to stay in the race.

That would seem to leave Romney and Gingrich. Blech. Unless you can take Huntsman's daughters seriously. Me neither.

There is one interesting point of light. The Spalding GOP Store is selling campaign items for three 'hopefuls'. The Spalding GOP Store is a division of the Spalding Group, a Republican marketing company. The store has been the official Republican Presidential campaign supplier since 1984. The three hopefuls that they are ~~making a buck off of~~ selling merchandise for, under the guise of possible Republican candidacy? Romney, Gingrich and...

Wouldn't that be a kick?

Not worth the wait. Seriously.

2011-12-02T09:46:00.002-06:00

I'm not exactly sure how it works these days. When I was a young(er) girl, there was many a discussion, with best friends and in groups at slumber parties. There were Judy Bloom novels. Movies. Practicing on the back of your hand. After school specials. The dark corner at the skating rink. Older kids to watch.

Regardless, I think most of us had some general idea of the mechanics and some plan for a signature style, the first time we embarked on some serious smooching.

Fox News is running a story about those with their knickers in a twist over the portrayal of virgins, and, in the trailer, a couple who has never even kissed, in a new TLC show. I don't give a damn about what any 'expert' says, this is 'reality' television, all the players left their ethics and right to complain at the door when they signed the production contract.

What this trailer for the new TLC show 'Virgin Diaries' is, is gag inducing, wet your pants funny. You might not know whether to laugh or puke, but you won't be able to turn away. Train wreck syndrome fixation.

Love her or hate her, Ellen's commentary is funny and spot on. Eye bleach not provided, Class IV Beverage Alert:

Not so dumb blonde

2011-12-02T05:10:00.003-06:00

I get offended when people treat me like I am stupid.

My teenagers fall into that category. I am not an idiot. When I walk by your computer and you are furiously closing windows or switching tabs, you aren't fooling me into thinking that you were doing homework.

My stepsister is one of those habitual liars that never remembers the lies she told previously, so the next round of lies is even more entertaining, because no one ever lets on that we know it is all a pile of crap. Her assumption that I won't remember our last conversation tends to piss me off, because it shows me that she doesn't think I am smart enough to keep track. Every now and then it is fun to push back with some facts, which tends to result in an even more elaborate story. But, most often, I leave it, to keep the family peace.

I don't know how anyone falls for any iteration of the Nigerian email scam. Really? Some Nigerian royalty stumbled upon your email address and needs help that only you can provide - and even though you are a complete stranger, they will pay you thousands of dollars? GMAFB

Even my mom is guilty of forwarding those idiotic chain emails about how Microsoft is tracking the email and will reward the users with some great act of charity or royalty payments. Sheesh, let's all take a refresher course in how email and the interwebs work.

This morning, as I was making the usual rounds of various news sites and blogs, I was struck by the number of ads that were trying to hit a personal note with me. You know, the ones that read your IP address and then have a picture of someone that they represent to be the "Your Town" guy or girl that is losing a pound a day with one simple trick to melt away body fat! Or one weird trick! Or discovered the secret to cut their electricity bill in half! Or went back to school on grants!

Problem is, I live in a pretty small town. I don't know everyone, and it has grown over the past few years, but there is no way that there is a shred of truth to the personal connection the ad is portraying (not to mention the crapola they are peddling). Just this morning alone, in about 15 minutes, I saw 6 different people pictured in ads with a caption that represented them as being from my town. I probably see a total of 10-20 of those ads each day. Even if I wanted to believe that those fly by night companies were legit, it is hard to overlook the fact that I should have recognized someone by now.

If you really wanted my business, you would assume I am smart, rather than post generic stock photos of people that you claim are in my town and know how to do something amazing.

Lucky 13

2011-11-30T22:26:00.000-06:00

I usually do pretty good on these Pew Quizezs, though I have been known to rush through them and miss one or two, from haste and inattention. Take the quiz here, then click over to the demographic breakdown and be very afraid of what it tells you. I am embarrassed that women seem dumber than men, but not surprised that the older the and more educated the participant, the better they did.

Treadmill Dancing

2011-11-30T05:35:00.000-06:00

My knee injury has me at physical therapy twice a week. Everyone with limb or related joint injuries warms up on some sort of low impact apparatus; recumbent bike, elliptical, treadmill, the hand pedal machine, etc. Lately I have been having trouble staying on the stationary bike. There is something about the seat back angle, the placement of the control screen and my short legs that has me either slipping off the seat, or hitting my (sore) knees on the top hand grips. I look like an idiot sliding down and scooting back up while trying to petal, but I am trying to take this seriously and do as I am instructed.

This lady puts run of the (tread)mill exercisers to shame. She is Nicole Harris of El Paso, Texas, so the home state connection ratchets up the coolness factor. Her smooth treadmill dancing moves are garnering her a bit of attention.

A vast right wing conspiracy

2011-11-29T05:16:00.011-06:00

The vast right wing conspiracy made famous by Hillary is intended to characterize the collaborative effort of Republican entities to further their conservative agenda and expose (or manufacture, depending on where you stand on the issue) the shortcomings, crimes and dalliances of Democrats...right?

It seems to me that the more vast and right wing conspiracy happening today is that of the Republican party trying to secure the nomination of Mitt Romney.

Herman Cain stirred up a groundswell of support. Raised a pile of money. Won straw polls. Then some women started making some accusations. His campaign handled it badly. Very badly. The RNC and any other number of conservative groups have spin doctors that could have fixed that situation before it ever became an issue. I'm not arguing the morality or the truth - I am simply saying that if the RNC was really interested in supporting a candidate that showed every indication of being able to beat Blowie, they could have thrown Cain a bone.

Now another woman has come forward and, while his campaign clearly had warning and launched a pre-emptive strike, Cain and company are still going it alone, in terms of party support.

Maybe Cain should consult with Gary Johnson about how to deal with the RNC cold shoulder.

Even the 'Shadow' Republican party's major players (Rove's American Crossroads and Crossroads GPS, American Action Network) endorse Romney without saying so. Review the policy issues and press releases of these groups, see whose platform they most closely relate to, whose they clearly don't support.

If things keep trending in Gingrich's favor, be prepared for the RNC to flip flop as quick as their current favorite candidate.

I am a firm believer in making your voice heard through your vote, but I have held my nose and voted, I have picked the lesser of two evils, I have picked the guy who didn't have a prayer. Romney as a candidate isn't even worth leaving the house for.

Barney Frank is packing it in

2011-11-28T12:41:00.002-06:00

Oh yeah, he is also retiring.

FOD - Koffler edition

2011-11-28T05:07:00.002-06:00

Today's FOD post exclusively sourced from the immense and unparalleled Keith Koffler's White House Dossier.

Mr. Koffler notes that while Black Friday shoppers were out pepper spraying, being left for dead and shooting each other, Blowie managed to squeeze in his 30th golf round of the year (88th of his presidency).

Blowie followed up golf day with a Saturday schedule of playing hoops, then hopping on a helicopter to go watch a college hoops game. Because there is nothing to cleanse the mental palette of its economic worries like some b-ball with people who don't dare foul you.

And, while many news outlets caught the omission of any mention of God in Blowie's Thanksgiving address, Koffler points out this embarrassing gaffe:

During his videotaped Thanksgiving address, President Obama proclaimed himself “commander and chief.” Take a look. Start at 2:36 on the tape if you want to skip forward to it.

And chief of what? Chief of Protocol?

Think you might be hearing it wrong? From the official White House transcript: “So today, I’m thankful to serve as your President and Commander-and-Chief.”

Ugh. And while we are on the subject of Thanksgiving, Koffler provides a comment-free (but Lordy, count the fat and calories) list of what the Obamas feel is a healthy Thanksgiving dinner.

Okay, I resisted the temptation to do one of those posts about how Michelle talks health eating and practices otherwise. I mean, it is Thanksgiving.

Here’s what they had.
Turkey, ham, cornbread stuffing, oyster stuffing, greens, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and dinner rolls. Dessert selections include banana cream pie, pumpkin pie, apple pie, sweet potato pie, huckleberry pie and cherry pie.

The Wookie should eat her macaroni and cheese with a side of crow.

Blessed Peace

2011-11-27T10:45:00.001-06:00

Thank you, Lord, for the gifts bestowed upon my family this past week. You do work in mysterious ways, and at times like these, I will gladly attribute the circumstances to your will and grace.

Aunt Em died last night. Just over one year from the initial doctor visit that signaled a return of her cancer. I remember that it was last Thanksgiving, she had just arrived and was unpacking her pistachio salad and spinach dip, when my mom asked how her check up went. She just shook her head and said, 'Not good'.

There is, of course, a considerable back story about her jackass of a son and his wife, and how they acted and treated Aunt Em these past months. I will write that post some day soon - I think my heart will need the cartharsis. Today isn't that day, though.

I am glad that I got to spend some time with Aunt Em while she was still alert. We had tried to visit over the past month, but had been put off (another rant-worthy subject). As selfish as it is, I am a little thankful that we didn't get the chance to see her again. I prefer the memory of her frail and fragile, rather than bedridden and in pain. I am also selfishly thankful that the hospice nurse was wrong, and that the end came before they expected.

There is peace in knowing that Aunt Em isn't in pain anymore. Relief from the worry of when and how. Faith that Uncle Mo will find joy in living, knowing that she wished it so. Still, there are miles to go before the tears don't flow so readily, before remembering the beauty of her life outweighs the pain of her death. Rest in peace, Aunt Em.