May 9, 2014

Terrorized by poop

Deputies with the Harris County Precinct One Constable’s Office say a man has been terrorizing a neighborhood in the Woodland Heights area of Houston by going to the bathroom in several yards at night.
To paraphrase an overused quote from The Princess Bride; "That word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."

Someone, especially a grown human male someone, taking a dump in your driveway is disgusting, stupid, juvenile, inconvenient, gross, and inexplicable.   Does it rise to the level of 'terrorizing' the homeowners?  Heck, no.

I am certainly supportive of individual property rights.  Your home, land, lawn - it is yours to do with as you please, and I sympathize when someone infringes and trespasses.  But, when did poop, human or otherwise, become such a scary thing that we get the police involved, do news stories on it, and, in cases of serial pet owner non-pooper-scoopers, send poop to labs for DNA testing to identify the culprits?  

It is just frickin' poop.

Believe me, I know how smelly, dirty, and disgusting it can be.  I have large animals.  I have three males in my home.  I am a mother of four.  But, it is still just poop.

And, no, I don't want to be stuck cleaning up anyone else's mess, but isn't this all just a little bit ridiculous?  There are so many things in this world, and this life, that are more important than this.

That guy in Houston, pooping in people's driveways, he is certainly a few sandwiches short of a picnic, and that is the point that the media and law enforcement should be making.  This pooping, it is like his gateway drug, and, yes, this 'serial defecator' should be caught and punished accordingly before his intentionally destructive behavior escalates to something truly terrifying, like, say, pooping in a paper bag and igniting it on someone's doorstep.

1 comment:

CenTexTim said...

Weapon of Mass Destruction...?