January 10, 2013

Buttoned up

Do you, or anyone you know, need to unbutton every button on a dress shirt to get it on?  Are there people in the world that have hands so large that they have to undo the cuff buttons, plus that little button that normally holds the slit in the wrist area closed?  Granted, I buy off the rack, ready-to-wear, generically sized shirts, but I have never had a sleeve so narrow that I couldn't get my hand through without unbuttoning that little button.  Most of the time, I can get my hand through the cuff with it still buttoned, as well.

And another thing.  Who the hell decided that a men's dress shirt needs to have 14 straight pins in it, when it is offered for sale as a folded item?  I hate it when Mr. H gets new shirts.  I always miss a pin and end up getting stuck with it. 

Someone, somewhere, has convinced the American public that our clothing requires many more fasteners than are actually necessary to keep the clothing on - which is what fasteners of all types are supposed to accomplish.  And, button down dress shirts aside, I think women get the ridiculous end of the stick, most of the time.

That Cajun cooking guy, what was his name...Justin Wilson?  I remember he always had a belt and suspenders on at the same time.  He used to joke that he was a safety engineer for wearing both.  I have several pairs of pants that have a button, a hook, and a drawstring (in addition to the zipper).  Triple engineered capri pants.  They constantly fall down.  I cinch up the drawstring and the double hook comes undone.  Sometimes I forget to tie the drawstring or zip the zipper because I am trained to do TWO fastening functions, not FOUR.  It's embarrassing.

You know what I miss?  Button fly jeans.  Good old fashioned Levi's (politics aside), shrink to fit, button fly, nice and broken-in jeans.  5 buttons.  Count them as you do them up to make sure you don't miss one, and then one yank and they are undone. Custom fit was a bath tub of warm water away.  Ahhh, those were the days.


kerrcarto said...

My kids thought I was crazy when I put on my new pants and sat in a hot bath. Little did I know.

kerrcarto said...

Damnit, Little did THEY know.