September 10, 2012

NFL Porn

I have always taken issue with white football pants.  Very few people look good in white pants of any sort, and they certainly do not flatter 300 pound linemen.  I moan every single time the camera goes in for a tight shot of the line of scrimmage, every cottage cheesy cellulite dimple accentuated and the stark white straps of the support garment digging in to meaty ass cheeks.  And, to be quite frank, the darker the skin of the player, the less was left to the imagination.

Why are jock straps white, anyway?

Back to my original complaint.  The white pants.  I think they should be outlawed.  The football season is played after Labor Day, invoke that rule.  They can't be fun to launder, with grass and field paint stains.  Many teams have a dark pant and a light gray/silver option in addition to the white.  Just get rid of the white.

So, for as long as I can remember, the white pants have annoyed me. I want them gone, and I think I see a glimmer of hope in the future.
One of the biggest offseason moves in the NFL was a billion-dollar deal that affected every franchise. The league switched to Nike as its uniform supplier after 10 years with Reebok, and the new line made its debut as the regular season got underway.
We have Nike to thank for the 2012-2013 NFL season degenerating into Sunday afternoon soft porn.  Behold the Detroit Lion's left tackle, Jeff Backus (and try not to make a joke about his name and this photo):

Moisture wicking fabric = might as well be naked

2 comments:

NavyOne said...

Whoah, you can't just gonaround posting those things without a warning. That can cause some serious eye damage!

Reality Seeker said...

Really am tired of all the penis profiles in the white pants.