Gay Dogs for Obama

Like most of you, my email is often filled with links to articles that my friends and family think I will enjoy reading.  This summer's travel has caused me to prioritize email, often saving the articles, jokes and pictures for later.  I have been going back and trying to knock out a few when I have a spare minute.  This morning I was catching up on this article a friend sent about Obama's lowbrow fund raising ploys and merchandise.

In order to fill campaign coffers with much-needed funds to finance the president's reelection, the Obama campaign engaging in a mortifying level of desperation.  

Exploitative fundraising efforts have included featuring the family dog Bo in the $5-donation "Throw Bo a Bone" fundraiser, and even a Guest Registry that suggests future wedding guests bless the bride and groom with a gift that keeps on taking by passing that envelope full of hundred dollar bills to Barack Obama instead.

In addition to tacky efforts to extract money from the gullible, there's also an Obama 2012 online store filled with items like ethnic-, sexual orientation- and state-specific T-shirts.  Eclectic Obama supporters can also find Obama yoga pants for people who spend too much time "lounging around on the couch," or noshing while reading Obama fridge magnets.  For pet-loving liberals there are "I Meow for Michelle" and "I Bark for Barack" pet collars. 

I clicked a couple of the links, wanting to see for myself what the Obama campaign store had to offer.  There is blog fodder for the next decade to be found there.  But the item that has me most confused this morning is this one:

For just $12, your LGBT dog can have a bandana declaring his/her/its support for Barack.  How does one know if their dog is gay?  My vet has always told me that same sex dog humping has nothing to do with canine sexual orientation, but perhaps he is a homophobic conservative with no appreciation of the lifestyle choices dogs are making these days.

My cousin's Maltese had a special relationship with a fuzzy slipper for years, how do I determine the sex of the slipper to correctly classify her sexuality?  There is an ankle-biter down the street that we lovingly refer to as 'Sir Humps-a-Lot' because he will mount anyone or anything that moves.  Ducks included.  Anyone got a label for that?

I'm not homophobic, but I am anti-humping.  And anti-Obama.  Someone head on over to Cafe Press and mock up the 'Non-homophobic anti-humpers for Romney/Ryan' T-shirts.