July 13, 2012

I do all my own stunts

A couple of days ago I fell down.  Twice.  These weren't little falls.  Both were spectacular.  Either of them on video would be going viral right now.

The first resulted when my cell phone rang.  I had been waiting on an important call and it finally came when I was at the other end of the house.  I sprinted down the hallway toward the phone and Crash rounded the corner right in front of me.  There was no way to avoid a collision, but the mom in me did all that I could to minimize the damage to the child. 

I put my hands on his head as we met, trying to jump up and to the left, as I directed him to the right.  It worked out well for him, as he spun around and fell to his knees, rather than being knocked flat with a head injury.  I didn't fare so well.

I  landed on my knee first, then hip, then cartwheeled over into the vacuum.  The girls heard the crash and the cussing, and found me writhing in agony on the dining room floor.  Everything hurt, but there was no blood, so I was thankful.  Crash didn't have a mark on him.

Later that afternoon, Boom and I had just returned from the feed store.  When we put hay away, we let Clara (the horse) graze in the backyard, so she doesn't molest us trying to get at her new food.  We had also stopped to get a few items at the grocery store, so I headed in to put them away.  Clara was near the back door as I came through the detached garage.  She is known for trying to follow people in the house or garage, and since my hands were full of grocery bags, I knew I should hurry to avoid getting cornered by the horse. 

I don't know what I tripped on, if anything other than my own feet, but I found myself falling face first down the two concrete steps from the garage to the back patio.  I am not even sure how I landed, as my brain was screaming at me to get up lest I be trampled by a horse.  In fact, my crash, and the resultant colorful language, startled the horse and she was kicking and running across the yard when Boom came running. 

I gathered up the groceries that had gone flying and limped into the house.  This fall did result in blood, my knee, shin, foot and toes were scraped and bleeding.  I think my upper body landed on the grocery bags, as there were no scrapes or cuts, just pain and bruising.  Half the eggs survived the crash. 

In both cases, my hands being occupied probably saved me from breaking a hand or wrist.  I won't even begin to pretend that I am such a ninja that I would have remembered to not try to break my fall with them.  Two days later I look, and feel, like I was in a car wreck.  Everything is out of whack, my left leg from hip to toe is painful, swollen, bruised, scabbed.  One toe is likely fractured.  Left elbow is quite sore.  Pride deflated. 

My kids are treating me like a tottering old person.  They aren't excited about the prospect of me driving anywhere in my accident prone phase, but we have places to go today.  I probably shouldn't remind them that it is Friday the 13th...

1 comment:

CenTexTim said...

It's been my experience that most falls are caused by Shiners - either too many, or too few.

Adjust your intake accordingly...