June 2, 2012

My Three Husbands

My three husbands will be in one place today.  Trying to determine how much I can actually pregame and still present as sober at a school-related event.  While I am exceedingly proud of Boom and want to share her graduation with everyone, I wasn't expecting this unprecedented gathering of husbands past and present!

Not that it is anyone's business, and not that I really give a crap what anyone else knows or thinks about the situation(s), but, yes, I have been married three times and divorced twice.  I don't feel the need to justify beyond saying that while I hold the vows of marriage quite sacred, I hold my, and my children's, physical and mental well-being to be much more sacred.

So I have two ex-husbands.  Neither is notable for their paternal instincts.  Neither is a frequent visitor or part of either of my older two children's lives.  Boom's dad lives 15 minutes away and manages to see her about twice a year.  Bang's dad lives 700 miles away and sees him once or twice every three to five years.  Bang's dad is good about calling somewhat regularly.  Boom's dad doesn't do so good in the dependability or consistency department.

But, both of them will be attending Boom's graduation.  Since Bang's dad served as Boom's step-dad for several years, she thought it fitting to send him a graduation invite, thinking it would just be a nice gesture.  As it happens, he is traveling to a business meeting in Arizona this weekend and arranged his travel to accommodate stopping in Texas for the day to attend the ceremony. 

If I think about it for very long, it makes my head hurt - but, I think it may be God's way of helping me keep it together as Boom gets her diploma.  Can't let the exes see me become a basket case.  Instead, I will hold my head high, knowing how little they had to do with her upbringing, while being a big enough person to allow them to share in the familial glow of shared accomplishment. 

Tomorrow they will be back to their own lives, but I still have the everyday joy of my oldest daughter, seeing her face, hearing her voice, receiving her warm embraces.

Until she leaves me to go to college in 73 days.

1 comment:

CenTexTim said...

Nothing wrong with having a couple of ex-spouses. I have two of my own, plus a current wife. Life is like a baseball game - you get three strikes, and the first two don't count.

So enjoy the day. Take pride in Boom's -- and your -- accomplishments. And remember:

God has a sense of humor.