January 24, 2012

SOTU Bingo!

I Googled and clicked and decided that Americans for Tax Reform has the best State of the Union bingo cards for tonight's speech.  If you choose to sit through it, I would suggest some form of drinking game to go along with the bingo.  I will be sitting through another sort of hell known as municipal government. 

ATR got my vote for the bingo cards because they included definitions for their key phrases:
"Investment" – Spending taxpayer money on Obama re-election constituencies such as government employee unions, teachers' guilds, and big-city political machines.
"Children and grandchildren" – The people picking up the tab.
"Energy" – Something that flows from good intentions, government programs,
"Stimulus" spending but not pipelines.
"Exports" – That trade – and only that trade – acceptable to union bosses.
"I" or "Me" – Center of the known universe.
"Compromise" – Tax hikes.
"Sacrifice" – Tax hikes.
"Bipartisan" – Tax hikes.
"Fair" OR "Fair Share" – Tax hikes.
"Balanced" – Tax hikes.
"Small business" – Those who will pay the most under my plan to tax "the rich."
"Special interests" – Taxpayers who do not wish to give their money to my friends.
"There are those who..." OR "Some" – [INSERT STRAW MAN HERE]
"Middle class" – Those who are the target of seven tax hikes in Obamacare.
"Deficit" – What Democrats want you to focus on when what they really want to sell you is a tax hike.
"Regulations" – The governmental leash attached to the choke collar around the neck of the economy.
"Recovery" – This time it's real, I swear, not like that "Recovery Summer" we had in 2010 after spending $1 trillion of borrowed money.
"Infrastructure" OR "Roads and Bridges" – Spending taxpayer money on those states voting Democrat in '08.
"Affordable" – Reality for the taxpayer only after they've worked 224 days to pay for the total cost of government.
"Obstructionists" – House Republican lawmakers who have actually passed a budget – NOT the Senate Democrats who have refused to pass a budget for 1,000 days.
"Streamline" – The  pretense of dieting after an all-out spending binge.
"Wall Street" – 1. Where your IRA and 401(k) live. 2. A bauble to distract you from noticing my bailout of Fannie and Freddie.
"Jobs" – "You want to find work on the Keystone XL pipeline? Tough luck – I've got a campaign to run."
"Profit" – Money without which jobs would never be created.

2 comments:

InsomniacSeeker said...

I'd rather watch your meeting and have a drinking game on how many times you look like you're going to bitchslap someone....

tina

Harper said...

Tonight's meeting could reach Jerry Springer-esque heights. I am really humiliated by the whole thing. Counting the days until the May election.