December 8, 2011

Phallic Food Ban

An Islamic cleric in Europe has reportedly ruled women should be forbidden from touching — or even being near — bananas and cucumbers because their oblong shapes can make women think of sex.
The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.
He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”
He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.
There you have it, guys.  The secret to getting your woman all hot and bothered.  Forget wine and roses.  No fancy jewelry or romantic talk needed.  Take a tour of the produce department.

Ice cream cones, bomb pops, push ups?  Because, obviously, we of the weaker sex can't put our tongue on anything without wishing it were somewhere else.


What about hot dogs?  Corn dogs?  Twinkies?  Egg rolls?  Burritos?

Crash will be ticked off, but his lollipop habit will have to be curbed.  Momma can't see those without needing a cold shower.  GMAFB.

Now, the sight of these might cause a little wishful thinking:

back story here, language NSFW

5 comments:

CenTexTim said...

LOL - both at the idiotic suggestion and the comments. I'm guessing this dessert would also be verboten.

That's almost as stupid as thinking that allowing women to drive in Saudi Arabia will result in no more virgins and more gays.

And we're told to take these morons seriously...?

CharlieDelta said...

Chalk up another example of how these third world goat-humpers are not compatible with the West. If anything, that "cleric" is the one who's thinking about bobbin' a nob when he eats bananas.

Kill. Them. All.

CharlieDelta said...

What the hell happened to my comment?

Harper said...

I never saw your comment - and I get an email for each one. Are you sure you clicked 'publish'? Try again, I'm sure it was entertaining.

CharlieDelta said...

I don't even remember what it was now. It was alcohol induced so I'm sure it was operator error on my part as far as publishing it goes.