November 27, 2011

Blessed Peace

Thank you, Lord, for the gifts bestowed upon my family this past week.  You do work in mysterious ways, and at times like these, I will gladly attribute the circumstances to your will and grace.

Aunt Em died last night.  Just over one year from the initial doctor visit that signaled a return of her cancer.  I remember that it was last Thanksgiving, she had just arrived and was unpacking her pistachio salad and spinach dip, when my mom asked how her check up went.  She just shook her head and said, 'Not good'. 

There is, of course, a considerable back story about her jackass of a son and his wife, and how they acted and treated Aunt Em these past months.  I will write that post some day soon - I think my heart will need the cartharsis.  Today isn't that day, though. 

I am glad that I got to spend some time with Aunt Em while she was still alert.  We had tried to visit over the past month, but had been put off (another rant-worthy subject).  As selfish as it is, I am a little thankful that we didn't get the chance to see her again.  I prefer the memory of her frail and fragile, rather than bedridden and in pain.  I am also selfishly thankful that the hospice nurse was wrong, and that the end came before they expected.

There is peace in knowing that Aunt Em isn't in pain anymore.  Relief from the worry of when and how.  Faith that Uncle Mo will find joy in living, knowing that she wished it so.  Still, there are miles to go before the tears don't flow so readily, before remembering the beauty of her life outweighs the pain of her death.  Rest in peace, Aunt Em.


CenTexTim said...

Focus on the good memories, and leave Karma to God (or Buddha, or Whoever).


kerrcarto said...

What Tim said.