August 21, 2011

Word Play

Four kids and forty-mumble mumble years have added some interesting variety to my vocabulary. 

I tend to be kind of a potty mouth around the house, which is another parenting failure of mine.  My kids do know that there are words that mom says that they better not be caught saying (though Crash does occasionally get away with 'scheisse').  I haven't always been such a swearer, but I think that adulthood and its responsibilities demanded a stress-relieving outlet and creative cursing is the thing for me.

To get back on my original track; there are unique words my family uses to describe everyday objects, as well as words that were once mispronounced by children and the alternative stuck.

Around my house, cars, trucks, pretty much anything with wheels - toy or real-life - is referred to as a 'vroom' or 'vroom-vroom'.  Vroom is also used as a verb, to describe riding or driving.  For instance, Crash will ask if I have seen his blue vroom vroom, or he may say that he wants to go outside and vroom his bike. 

Amongst the girls, devices that hold hair into ponytails are called hair doodles.

The Princess calls genital areas the 'wrong spot' or 'no-no square'.  As in, 'I threw the ball and it hit him in the wrong spot'.  Or, 'When I jumped off the diving board by bikini fell down and showed my wrong spot'.  The 'no-no square' verbiage has a song that goes along with it.  'Don't touch me there, that's my no-no square'.  I have no idea where she learned it and am not sure if I should work harder to get her to use a more positive euphemism.  Mr. Harper is thrilled by the negative connotation.

Boom and her teenage friends have some words that serve as helpful code around her siblings.  My favorites are; 'playing Parcheesi' for hooking up and 'area 51' for male genitalia.

We tend to dismiss French words and their pronunciations by saying the hard 'T' sound in words like depot, crochet and buffet, just for fun.  I also like to reverse it and request the song 'Margaritaville' by Jimmy Buffay.

Allergies are playfully called 'agerllies', after Bang's inability to pronounce the word as a toddler.
Until two minutes ago, when I looked it up online, I had no idea that the proper name of this type of sprinkler was an 'orbit':

Around our house, we differentiate this sprinkler from the oscillating ones, by calling it the 'racist' sprinkler.  In my mind I will always equate these sprinklers with an old joke about 4 Mexicans, a Chinese person and 4 black people.  The punchline is comprised of racial slurs, but describes the sounds this sprinkler makes to a tee.

This post resulted from our newest family word.  The Princess, either due to the mouthful of metal or her age, is unable to pronounce the name of the state formerly governed by Mitt Romney.  After hearing her say it a couple of times, the rest of the family, in what I think is a mob mentality-type Freudian slip, can't say it right, either.  It seems that the 6th state admitted to the union will forever, at Harper House, be called, 'Mass-a-two-shits'.


InsomniacSeeker said...

That's great! I'll have to use that in the future. It does remind me of a Sr. level class in college where we were in groups, given a company, and we had to decide whether to sell, merge or invest in the company. One of them was Mitsubishi. The lead off guy who gave the overview kept pronouncing it "Mitts su bitchi". By the end of the presentation, we were all falling out of our chairs. He didn't have a clue he was mispronouncing it. I still laugh about it.

kerrcarto said...

The No-No Square. That is just fucking funny.