December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

On one hand the passage of time has gone much too quickly this year. I hate to wish my life away, but the next three years need to go just as quickly.

I do get to enjoy four extra hours of 2009 that I wouldn't normally get - due to the Hawaiian time zone. All the better to peruse the classifieds for a job and real estate. I have reached that point of my vacation where I am desperately trying to figure out how to stay here!

Every one stay safe if you are celebrating the departure of 2009 tonight.

December 29, 2009

Banana Hammock

We call him Fabio's dark cousin and he has provided many a giggle to the females here in the condo.


Stoked

Bright and early in the morning I will be taking surfing lessons with my kids and niece.  Now, the rest of the adults have planned a beachside, drink-service seat for the morning - I am the only one adventurous (or stupid) enough to give it a try.  It has been a real treat being in Hawaii for Christmas - more 'everyday' Hawaiians are around since it is the holiday season.  Every day the beaches are full of surfers and people on paddle boards.  I have grand visions of popping right up and surfing circles around the young 'uns, and fitting right in with the natives.  I have also noted the location of the urgent care clinic closest to the surf site. 

December 27, 2009

She'll be coming around the mountain...

What day is it? Hard to remember here in paradise (tongue firmly in cheek).
Today we have a big ocean adventure planned, one of two "whole family" outings that are planned. Considering the current level of grumpiness, lack of consideration and prima dona personalities, you may read of a tourist drowning in tomorrow's paper.
My family had a great day overall yesterday, driving around the north side of the island. Not nearly as long, treacherous or nail-biting as the legendary road to Hana, but still exciting. We made a leisurely day of it, stopping to hike down paths and see things that many people miss - hidden ocean pools, mushroom shaped rocks, blowholes. This is in stark contrast to our time in Volcanoes National Park when we were all sharing one vehicle and someone else was driving.  I am still pissed that I spent over a thousand bucks to take my family on a side trip to the Big Island, only to sit helplessly while another family member turned around half a mile shy of one of the things we were looking forward to seeing.   
Back to yesterday's roadtrip - my 12-year old doesn't like heights, so the 3 or 4 miles of single lane, rock mountain face on one side, sheer drop to the ocean on the other side, road, about did him in. It didn't help that I kept pretending that the brakes were failing on the downhill parts and then would pretend that we were out of gas on the uphill parts! I had explained that when two cars meet on the single lane parts, mountain road etiquette dictates that the uphill car backs up to a point where there is room for the cars to pass.  The idea of backing down the road really freaked him out.  Typical of his age, he couldn't resist when we would say, "Whatever you do, don't look to the left", which we did often, and then he would be terrified of the view to the bottom of a particularly steep drop.  We would sing, "...she'll be driving off the mountain when she comes..." when things got boring. I am an evil, albeit entertaining, parent.

December 26, 2009

Surf's Up!

Maui surfers were blessed with a great surf on Christmas Day. This is Honolua Bay, north of Kapalua.



 

December 25, 2009

Sorry about that winter weather back home...

The obligatory "view from our balcony" photo:



Christmas Eve sunset over Haleakala, Maui:

 

And this one is where the lava enters the sea on the south end of the big island of Hawaii where we spent the first two days of our vacation:


Mele Kalikimaka



Merry Christmas to all of you!

Yes I am spending Christmas on a warm Hawaiian island...with my family...ten of us...in one condo. If we come home speaking to each other it will be a true Christmas miracle.

December 24, 2009

Day Four

What the hell was I thinking? 

As the sun comes up over Maui, I am watching the surf pound the shore, as my kids bitch about the fact that they will be missing a white Christmas back home in Texas.  WTF?

Let's not leave out that on day four, we aren't all getting along great.  Only nine more days to go. I have already looked at alternate lodging - should have foregone the shared condo set up and just gotten a separate place to begin with.  This is the type of family vacation that is sure to cause hurt feelings and grudges that will last for years.  I can usually roll with the punches pretty well, but my family has really taken it up the old wazoo on this trip.  More on that later...
 
I will try to get some picture up tonight (Hawaii time). 

December 22, 2009

Aloha

No blood, just a few tears, 10 hours of flight time - so far, so good.  The two year old handled the trip better than some much older!  A rant is forthcoming on American Airlines.  They really need to come up with a system that retains the friendliest flight attendants, not the tenured old bitties.

Will catch up this evening, try to post some photos. Given the speed of the gorenet here, it could be a challenge.

December 21, 2009

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

I was going to post the version from Armageddon, 'cause it makes me smile. Instead, I stumbled across this on YouTube and thought it was fantastic. The music starts around 1:30. I'll update soon, ya'll have a Merry Christmas if I don't post before then!

December 20, 2009

And not a poop recycler to be found

A recent trip to America's Heartland resulted in some cow visitation on our part. My kids aren't too citified - but they also don't castrate cattle during summer break like some of their cousins do. I am sure that we were quite entertaining, in all of our cattle tour glory.  I got a real kick out of the slogan on a bag of cow treats.  (Okay, okay, I know they aren't 'treats', but I don't know what they were called other than 'cubes').  Anyway, the slogan on the bag read, "A steak in the future".   Bwahahaha.  Two pictures I wanted to share:

We joked that the cows recognized the leather sleeves on my teenager's jacket:


Hey, isn't that Bob on your arms?

And we thought that this little guy's white mark looked like a Harry Potter-esque lightning bolt:



December 19, 2009

He should have been sterilized at birth

So we celebrated Christmas this morning, good times all around.  As I sit here typing this I can hear my teenager in the next room talking on the phone to her father, my ex.  She is trying to tell him about her gifts and he is apparently berating her for not contacting him with her Christmas list.  I can hear her saying that she didn't know what to tell him that she wanted, as she didn't know what she was getting from all of us - and he refuses to be an adult and have a conversation with me about things like this.  The ex has been communicating with me, through the child, since she got a cell phone and he can circumvent the chance of talking to me.  He's a douche bag.  He is still carrying on about the list thing, as she is now telling him that he can wait for the after Christmas sales to buy her something since we won't be here.  Savvy consumerism, common sense advice, who is the adult in this conversation?
To all of you divorced parents who actually take part in your kid's lives, God Bless You.  My oldest reached the point this year that she realized how much I had been covering for her dad over the years, as it is now her phone calls, emails, texts, special events and holidays that he ignores.  As worthless as I think he is, I felt a little pity on her birthday when he stood her up (again) and I could see something in her click - and she has not felt the same about him since.  It's a crying shame, that this poor excuse for a man is missing out on the life of a beautiful, talented and compassionate young woman.  I wonder how he sleeps at night.

December 18, 2009

All spritz-cookied out

I have a severe case of ass with my family.  Bear in mind that my family is spending Christmas away from home.  For us, today is Christmas Eve, with Santa coming tonight so the kids can play with/break their toys for a day or two before we get on an airplane Monday.
I have had to shop for, help assemble, bake, wrap, etc:
Gifts for Family & Friends
Husband's work gift exchange and potluck
3 school related Secret Santas
23 teachers
Items for 4 class parties
Tired of my husband absconding with my iPod, I bought him his own for Christmas.  Since there isn't much time between gifting and leaving, I have spent several hours surreptitiously transferring his music collection to my iTunes, so he can just sync and go.
I am currently knee-deep in laundry and packing - we are going to a warm climate, so I have had to drag out summer clothes.
We have a friend staying at our home with our dogs while we are gone.  So I have also had to clean up a bit...not mother-in-law clean, but slightly above everyday clean.  I would hate for him to go looking for an extra blanket or something and be swallowed up by dust bunnies (think Watership Down numbers).  On top of which I have documented all the little idiosyncrasies of our house and dog's behavior and written down the 12 step instructions on how to turn off/on the television and peripheral equipment.
My 6-year old is running a fever.  My 2-year old is acting two years old.  
The next person who says, "Did you________for me?" is going to get my foot up their ass. 

December 17, 2009

Santa might be late


December 16, 2009

Recycling cow poop

"U.S. Secretary Tom Vilsack announced an agreement with the American dairy industry Tuesday to reduce the industry's greenhouse gas emissions 25 percent by 2020, mostly by convincing farmers to capture the methane from cow manure that otherwise would be released into the atmosphere."
Well, it's nice to know that our government is spending its time, and our tax dollars, on matters of such great importance.  Problem is, while the tree huggers shout about recycling cow poop and how it will "drastically reduce greenhouse gas emissions", other government agencies have already spent millions of our dollars and know that the biggest source of cattle-related methane comes from the front end of a cow.  It's not the poop, it's cow burps that emit the majority of methane.  Secretary Vilsack doesn't know a cow's ass from the hole in his head.
The methane production is somewhat distinctive among ruminants (cattle, sheep, goats) and is tied to their consumption of cellulose.  There are other sources of methane; rice paddies, swamps and wetlands (methane-producing bacteria thrive in the underwater environment), mining and oil drilling, landfills, termites and "biomass burning" in the Amazon rain forest.  But, since there are around 1.2 billion large ruminants in the world, they bear the brunt of the methane blame as they are responsible for 15-20% of all U.S. methane emissions.
Another funny little quirk, found in an EPA report; "...the general trend in manure management is one of increasing use of liquid systems, which tends to produce greater CH4 emissions."   The methane is burned to drive a generator. But the burning process produces carbon dioxide as well as electricity.  Digester operation is labor intensive and expensive, and in the end analysis, farmers have little economic need to produce their own energy. Energy expenditures amount to only about 3-5% of total operational costs on many farms.
Digesters have greatly varying efficiencies, sometimes using all of the methane produced to sustain the production of more methane. The process is prohibitively expensive unless subsidized by taxpayer money and requires a constant supply of manure, but does not diminish the amount of manure present after methane has been extracted. Thus, methane digesters should not be viewed as a sustainable solution for factory farm waste, but rather a mechanism for perpetuating the production of excess manure.
Vilsack's plan specifically targets dairy farms, probably because dairy cattle don't get to roam much, making poop gathering and recycling more efficient.  Did it escape notice that dairy cattle aren't the biggest producers of methane?  Check out the cow pie chart:
Setting aside the fact that cows don't poop or fart large amounts of methane, that manure management systems actually increase methane emissions, that part of the anaerobic digestion process results in hard chemical oxygen demand wastewater that pollutes and/or requires further processing and that ruminant animals have been roaming the earth in massive numbers since the Early Eocene period, over 54 million years ago - how effective could this plan be?
I'm not a great mathematician, so bear with me here.  Our nation plans to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 25% by the year 2020, "mostly by convincing farmers to capture methane".
The word "mostly" leads one to think that at least a majority (over half) of the reductions will occur because of this plan, so let's say a 13% reduction will be attributed to this dairy cattle poop recycling plan.
But agriculture only accounts for 7% of total greenhouse emissions.  As we have learned recently, most greenhouse gas is carbon dioxide - methane only accounts for 13% of greenhouse gas.
77% of dairy farms have fewer than 100 cows, which is the threshold for the system being cost effective.  So 23% of dairy farms could potentially participate.
To reduce U.S. greenhouse gases by 13% or 25% (whatever 'mostly' means) we will address an industry responsible for 7% of total greenhouse gas, 13% of which can be attributed to methane.  The plan specifically addresses the dairy cattle component, comprising 23% of the cattle industry.  Of that 23%, only 23% of about 60,000 diary farms can effectively use the system which ultimately results in increased methane reduction or:
 
23% of 23% divided by 13% of 7% minus 0.426 Tg of recoverable methane per 3,000 dairy cattle = 13-25% reduction in greenhouse gases.

Government math.  Wouldn't some cow Beano be more effective?

December 14, 2009

My FOD Animal Kingdom Contribution

Middle Finger Monkey

Keeping up with the Criplets and H2O

Consolidation

Exxon Mobil just announced that it will be ponying up $31 Billion to buy Fort Worth based XTO Energy, a natural gas company.  Industry experts are predicting that this will start an industry trend of consolidation.
Locally, the best indicator of the natural gas industry is the number of drilling rigs dotting the landscape.  Things have been slow recently and lease prices have dropped significantly over two years ago.  One of my neighbors was holding out.  He had been offered $5500 an acre but was probably listening to news reports of signing bonuses upwards of $25,000 per acre, so he waited.  Going rate today is about $1,500 an acre around here. Apparently Exxon Mobil and others in the energy industry see a natural gas turnaround in the future.
The news made me wonder how consolidation trends have worked out for other industries.  Telecommunication immediately came to mind.  There used to be dozens of cellular companies to choose from.  Now there are four major players and a handful of small market companies and prepaid specialists.  For the consumer, telecommunication consolidation has resulted in lower, and lowering, prices.  I think the number portability thing created a category of consumer that will go wherever the best deal is, loyal only to their phone number and not their service provider.
In reading articles about industry consolidation, it is frequently noted that the area that suffers is innovation.  In fact, one article was specific to the Nokia/Siemens merger in 2006.  Perhaps it harmed their R&D, but it seems to me that the iPhone has forced the marketplace to innovate constantly or lose market-share.
One other plus to note, ease of use when one company houses multiple services.  I pay one Verizon bill that covers my television programming, home phone service and internet service.  I receive a discount for the single bill and bundling of services - a true discount as I have priced them individually.  If I could stand Verizon's cellular service, I could kill four proverbial birds with one stone.
Radio and TV consolidation has resulted in many shared resources - which must be more cost effective for them.  It is hard to say whether those savings have been passed on to the advertisers and consumers.  The unfortunate consumer side effect is that the same stories and points of view are regurgitated by these partnerships.  Newspaper consolidation may have saved many publications, but is one "local" paper covering eight small communities doing any of them a real service?
I took the long way around, but back to the point.  Will innovation and service suffer as energy companies consolidate?  The natural gas industry has been in a state of continuous innovation during the past decade or so.  Horizontal drilling technologies and new fracturing methods have enabled drilling in the shale fields, capturing resources that they weren't able to before.   Gas prices are an entirely different debate, but diversification of energy companies could result in some wiggle room with share holders.  Or not.
My local economy is very dependent on energy, so it will be interesting to see what happens in the industry. 

December 13, 2009

Biker Granny

A little old lady decides to join the Hell's Angels...

One day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She boldly proclaims, "I want to join your club."

The guy is amused, and decides to humor her a bit, so he says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over there," and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks, "Do you drink?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep, like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."

The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least two packs of cigarettes and three joints a day.  Sometimes I smoke a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is very impressed and asks, "You sound like one bad Mama.  Tell me, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times and I kinda liked it."

December 12, 2009

Christmas Decorating Award Winner

I don't care if the accompanying story is true, the premise is funny and I would love to do this:


"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas  decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.  Great stories.  But two things made me take it down. 

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. 

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

December 11, 2009

Double Entendre

Wondering if this was a deliberate play on words:

More Women Fingered as Tiger Mistresses

December 10, 2009

Sorry Uncle Albert

Though widely assumed to be a nonsensical song using an uncle's name and that of a famous Royal Navy admiral, it is now clear to me that Paul and Linda McCartney were profoundly prophetic.  This song clearly illustrates a current-day conversation between the climate scientist community and Al "get yer carbon credits here' Gore.  How else can you explain the apologetic lyrics (now that the jig is up), the thunder and rain sound effects, the abrupt stylistic change to upbeat carnival-feel music and "...hands across the water...hands across the sky" is clearly a reference to the Copenhagen summit.

December 9, 2009

December 8, 2009

Sadly, this isn't a joke

Via candidate email from Kay Granger emphasis mine:
Dear friends--
I am sick of all the Democrats' government bailouts that haven’t delivered on their big promises. I just learned about Democrat Congressman Barney Frank's new proposal today that includes both more bloated bureaucracy and another new czar. It is called the Barney Frank Bailout Bill and it smells exactly like all the other reckless spending legislation Nancy Pelosi is pushing through Congress these days.
You may not have heard about this bill yet. But the Democrats are determined to pass it so I wanted to make sure you’re aware. As with the government taking over our health care, this bill will take over your personal finances. It is over 1200 pages long and creates a permanent $200 billion bailout fund for financial lending institutions which you will pay for in the form of fees handed down by your bank.
The czar created in this legislation will decide what credit products you should be able to choose from. The legislation could increase interest rates by 1.5% and will cost over 1 million jobs. Unless you are a trial lawyer or a Washington bureaucrat there aren’t too many upsides for consumers.

December 7, 2009

Kansas State Representative Bill Otto (R-LeRoy)

For FOD, skip to 3:18 as the first few minutes are a response to the criticism Otto faced due to the hat and the last line of his 'rap'. 



The lyrics:

"Yo, Barack, my man with the plan
You’re laying us low with this czar scam
You promised things would be different, and it looks like they are
But worse wasn’t the change people voted for
Don’t send them Gitmo killers in our backyard
Send them to the internal revenue service so they can get tortured real hard
The reform government health care, let me tell you where to start
The veteran’s administration should be brought out of the dark
Listen to sister Kathleen and quit dissin’ her so hard
She’s a left-wing Democrat that knows where the votes are
You’re printing all that money, but where’s my share?
Recovery on wall street is raising my hair. Jobs on main street, we need recovery there.
And what’s that card check you’re talking about?
If even George McGovern hates it, that ain’t the route
We want to keep our freedom of speech, God and guns
So you better tell your left-wing radical friends to just cool it, son
I know lining out Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi is a tall order
But talking to little kids ain’t your order
Taxing CO2 should be taken off the shelf
Tell Al Gore to go make money somewhere else
But your cash-for-clunkers was the very last card
Now what’s a redkneck like me going to block up on my yard?"
"Opposum, the other dark meat. A little greasy, but hey."

A Date Which WIll Live in Infamy v68


BCS'd

BCS'd = Screwed




December 6, 2009

Multi-failure Performance

I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am a little.  Why is the media paying so little attention to the threats made against BHO?  One seemingly harmless, limelight seeking couple that crashed a state dinner manages to monopolize media reports for the past two weeks, while there are factual cases of imminent threats against the president that never seem to see the light of day.
This morning a story ran in the paper detailing a couple of such events. A Marine lance corporal had a detailed plan he called 'Operation Patriot' in which he identified Obama as a domestic enemy that needed to be eliminated.  Kody Brittingham pleaded guilty in August to charges of threatening to kill the president and attempted armed robbery.  Why hasn't this been front and center of the news?  Isn't there a bit more urgency to a scenario of an American military member planning to assassinate the president over publicity hungry reality TV show wannabes?
Much was made of Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan's 'status quo' statements made at congressional hearings this week.  The media has widely reported Sullivan's statement that the threats against the current president, "...is the same level as it has been for the previous two presidents at this point in their administrations."
But reports have left out the rest of the context, "But several officials said they took no solace that the volume of reports had receded because it was the nature of the threats that concern them and because the factors behind the increase remain — Mr. Obama’s race prime among them."
The NY Times article goes on to discuss a few other known threats, "A review of dozens of court records and police reports by The New York Times uncovered an array of cases, most of which did not gain public attention even as they rang alarm bells at some of the highest levels of the government."
An airport security guard in New Jersey, who had 43 guns and allegedly hollow-point bullets at home, was charged with making threats against a president after co-workers told the authorities that he had talked about cutting a hole in a fence to shoot Mr. Obama on the day before the president was to land at Newark International Airport.
The man, John Brek, spent 29 days in jail, which was counted as time served on a lesser charge after the local authorities deemed that he was not a threat. “He’s a talker,” said an Essex County prosecutor on the case, Keith Harvest. (In an interview, Mr. Brek said he had only pointed to the hole in the fence as a potential security breach.)
An Arizona pastor drew the attention of agents after he delivered a sermon that included pleas for Mr. Obama’s death at the very time he and his family visited the state.
The Secret Service also checked in with a Pennsylvania newspaper that ran a classified advertisement placed by a customer, which declared: “May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy,” and with a Florida radio talk show host who bantered with an anti-Obama listener, who allegedly discussed his frustration with Mr. Obama by saying he was practicing his shooting skills.
...a man in La Mesa, Calif., who allegedly posted two racially charged missives against Mr. Obama on a Yahoo message board with the words “he will have a 50 cal in the head soon.”
My theory on the lack of coverage is fairly simple.  Copy cat crimes.  I believe at some level, the Secret Service and the administration have sought to limit media coverage of threats against the president for fear that someone else will copy the idea.  I recognize that there are threats everyday, but we are talking about at least two convictions in the instances listed above.  The party crashers may have been harmless, but they certainly highlighted gaping holes in White House security.  An environment that  must, "...be a zero failure performance."

December 5, 2009

The Dusk Tiger

I have always wanted to learn how to play guitar. In fact, I own a couple and have a long mental list of songs I would learn. I had several years of piano lessons as a kid and have always been told that it should come easily to me.  It hasn't. I help produce a local music festival which put me on these folks' mailing list. Pictures like this in my email make me want to drop several grand on an instrument I can't even play:

Stupid name, cool guitar.

December 4, 2009

Listen to me.

My two year old is going through this phase wherein he likes to constantly make noise.  He talks, sings, yells, makes various car/train/war games noises and a even makes a curious "om" like meditation noise in his sleep.  I've been calling him "hari krishna" for fun.
Because he is two, he also likes to be the center of attention.  Or maybe it is because he is male.  Either way, he prefers to dominate any conversation, especially those that involve his siblings.
Being a crafty child, he has also figured out how to push each person's buttons and can say or do the precise thing that will cause conversation to stop in its tracks and focus on him.  He has a face he can make that cracks up one sister.  Any audible expulsion of bodily gas, real or affected, will get his brother's attention.  His oldest sister, the teenager - it took him a bit to crack her code, but he finally did it.
The teenager is consistently the most verbose, especially in the car after school.  She has to relate every bit of tenth grade drama to us in the first five minutes of the car ride or she will explode (or something equally horrifying).  Actually, I think it has more to do with getting the "how was your day" info out of the way so she can furiously text her friends before we arrive home and she has to focus on homework.
The other day we were sitting at a stoplight, the two middle kids singing along with the radio while the teenager talked a mile a minute.  Suddenly at top volume we hear, "PENIS, PENIS, PENIS!".  The two-year old found out how to silence the teenager.  As an added bonus, he got a hearty round of laughter from the rest of us.
Considering the response to his outburst, it should come as no surprise that several other conversations, including one during Thanksgiving dinner, have been interrupted in the same manner. 

December 3, 2009

Stupid Victim

Lots of ink and television time has been given to stupid criminals.  Usually this time of year there is at least one "Bad Santa", some idiot burglar who tries to enter a house or business through the chimney and gets stuck.  When they are naked, it is even funnier.
There are websites devoted to immortalizing stupid criminals, like this one and this one.  It is always easy to find a story about a 7-Eleven hold up where the guy leaves his wallet, a moron that signs his name to a bank robbery demand note or the always entertaining "stoner calling police to report missing pot".
What you don't hear about very often is exceedingly stupid victims.  Obviously many crimes occur because the victims use poor judgment or make a thoughtless decision.  What I am talking about is a series of absurd, naive and ludicrous actions that elevate the victim to legendary status.  My local newspaper had one such story this morning, so I will share.
A 21-year-old...woman reported she was assaulted by a man posing as a massage student Monday.
Huh?
The man knocked on the woman’s front door...telling her he was a student from a massage school...and  he needed massage field hours for a class, according to a police report.
Massage field hours?
The woman agreed to help him with his assignment and let him into her residence.
Oh, well, if it is your homework, then sure...come on in. 
The man told the woman to take her clothes off and asked her to lie on her bed, according to the report. The woman told him she was uncomfortable with his request and donned shorts and a tank top before lying on her couch.
Naked on my bed, no.  Half-dressed on my couch with a strange man massage therapist doing field training, okay.
Once the man started the massage, he told the woman she had to take off her tank top and bra, and the woman hesitantly complied.  As he massaged her back and legs, he asked if she wanted her buttocks massaged, and he moved his hands up to her crotch area, according to the report.
The report does not state what her reply was to the 'buttocks massage' query.
The woman told the man to take his hands off her and got up to put her clothing on, after which the man commented on her breasts.
Commented on her breasts, not "complimented".  Hmmmm.
Before the woman could get the man out of her residence, he gave her a hug and would not immediately let her go, she told police. He also asked her on a date.
A hug and a date?  Heck lady, considering your stupidity and apparently unsightly breasts, you should be flattered.
After the man left, the woman called the massage school, which told her the man was an imposter.
A massage therapy student IMPOSTER.  NOOOOO, say it ain't so.
Police are searching for the man, described as being in his early 20s, 5 feet, 9 inches tall, weighing about 190 pounds with a semi-muscular build.  The man has a tattoo on one of his upper arms and was wearing tan cargo shorts and flip-flops during the attack, according to the report.  
Note to self: massage therapist-in-training uniform is tan cargo shorts and flip-flops.
One other eye-popping piece of information in the article:  the assault charge is a Class C misdemeanor for the HUG.  The "victim" consented to everything else.
My money is on her being a blonde. 

December 2, 2009

Happy Global Warming Wednesday

From sunny North Texas:


December 1, 2009

Holy Crap

I didn't listen to BHO's speech because, well, the sound of his voice makes me, uh, uh, vomit, uh.
I read the transcript and the bile rose while reading the ninth sentence.  That puts it, what, about 20 seconds in to the speech?
As we know, these men belonged to Al Qaeda, a group of extremists who have distorted and defiled Islam, one of the world's great religions, to justify the slaughter of innocents.
Oh no he di-nt!
Then I really lost it, toward the middle.  Typical patting-his-own-back, tooting-his-own-horn, looky here, see what I done did:
As president, I have signed a letter of condolence to the family of each American who gives their life in these wars. I have read the letters from the parents and spouses of those who deployed. I've visited our courageous wounded warriors at Walter Reed. I've traveled to Dover to meet the flag-draped caskets of 18 Americans returning home to their final resting place.
So have many other leaders, they just had the class to do it quietly, gracefully and with a servant's heart.  Anyone who would remind military families of their loss, to promote his own agenda, is a callous ass.

As I read on, I was reminded once again of how utterly non-presidential BHO is.  Who is writing his speeches?  This speech parallels his world-wide apology tour, but comes across as a preemptive soliloquy. 
Just days after 9/11, Congress authorized the use of force against Al Qaeda and those who harbored them, an authorization that continues to this day...
For the first time in its history, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization invoked Article 5, the commitment that says an attack on one member nation is an attack on all.
Translation:  Not my fight, I inherited this problem.
I love this -
The wrenching debate over the Iraq war is well-known and need not be repeated here. (But I just can't help myself) It's enough to say that, for the next six years, the Iraq war drew the dominant share of our troops, our resources, our diplomacy, and our national attention, and that the decision to go into Iraq caused substantial rifts between America and much of the world.
 The jerk can't or won't say what he means:
Commanders in Afghanistan repeatedly asked for support to deal with the reemergence of the Taliban, but these reinforcements did not arrive.
Did they get lost? Oh, I get it, you are saying that someone before you didn't send reinforcements.  Tricky word play, Mr. Obama.
And then on his own delay in decision-making:
Now, let me be clear: There has never been an option before me that called for troop deployments before 2010, so there has been no delay or denial of resources necessary for the conduct of the war during this review period. Instead, the review has allowed me to ask the hard questions and to explore all the different options, along with my national security team, our military, and civilian leadership in Afghanistan, and our key partners.
Oh, well then, that makes it all better.  On December 1st, you make a decision about 2010 deployments.  Yeah, there is no need for more than 30 days preparation prior to a unit deploying to a war zone.  No training, no leave time with family, no equipment acquisition needed. 

But, fear not, for our president assures us that we have:
 ...forged a new beginning between America and the Muslim world...