September 30, 2009

I appreciate Mr Grayson's attempt at accountability...

"So are you telling me that nobody at the Federal Reserve is keeping track, on a regular basis, of the losses it incurs on what is now a TWO TRILLION DOLLAR portfolio?"

UPDATE: I realize, like most politicians, that Mr Grayson has said some ridiculous things.  He has a "D" after his name, so he says those stupid things more often than others.  As the edited title implies, I appreciate the attempt to hold someone, anyone, accountable for the federal money tree shakedown.  I cannot, however, leave anyone with the belief that I support this guy, considering his most recent thoughtless and crude comments likening the lack of health care reform to being an American Holocaust.    

This and a plethora of other knock-the-wind-out-of-you-if-you-have-the-slightest-clue-about-economics-and-our-government videos at The Daily Bail.

September 29, 2009

The Anglo ACORN

I am a bit confused about this:

Fox News reports that ACORN was using illegal quota systems called 'Blackjack' and '21':
"...authorities say ACORN was using the names of those casino games as a cover to illegally pay workers to sign up voters as part of an illegal quota system."
"We came across policy manuals that outline their policy of creating a quota system, which is against the law," Miller told FOX News in an interview. "This, in fact, was something that was widespread and something the organization itself knew about, and it's important to hold the organization criminally accountable as opposed to the individual field directors."
"...But prosecutors say ACORN paid a $5 bonus per day to workers who would sign up 21 or more voters per shift, hence the name "21" or "Blackjack," an alleged quota system that Ross says is the first step toward corrupting the democratic system."
Locally, the Dallas Morning News has a report that Rick Perry's campaign pays volunteers to sign up other volunteers (who agree to vote for him).  This article says:
"The Republican governor's re-election campaign is paying volunteers to sign up other volunteers, and it promises more cash for those turning out voters in the March primary. The campaign hopes for big dividends from the Amway-style program, known as Perry Home Headquarters."
"It's not unusual for a campaign to offer incentives for volunteers, but they usually consist of campaign souvenirs or special opportunities, such as meeting the candidate. Cash is a rare reward but perfectly legal."
Hence, my confusion on the difference in the ACORN program and Perry Home Headquarters.
I haven't yet made up my mind about the Texas Governor's race.  Perry and Hutchison have both made some missteps over the years and there are things from both camps that I don't support.  I do have to say the 'vote for the smarter one' factor may come in to play.  Since Perry has announced his multi-level marketing plan publicly, what's to stop Kay's supporters from bleeding his campaign coffers dry?  No one goes into the voting booth (okay, walks up to the eSlate machine) with you.  Nothing to control which button you push, save your integrity.  Yeah, I know I mentioned integrity in a political post.  Heck, given the opportunity, I would probably tell a bit of a white lie if it cost someone like Obama.  Anyone who knows me, or has been in the same room with me for 15 minutes should know that I could never support him.  If you will take my word otherwise, then you are the ($5 richer) fool.   

Oh Puhleeze

A creative bullshit laced answer given by a National Science Foundation senior executive in response to why he had spent time, on at least 331 days, using his government computer to view porn and chat online with nude or scantily clad women:
"...He even offered, among other explanations, a humanitarian defense, suggesting that he frequented the porn sites to provide a living to the poor overseas women..."He explained that these young women are from poor countries and need to make money to help their parents and this site helps them do that," investigators wrote in a memo."
Investigators put the cost to taxpayers of the senior official's porn surfing at between $13,800 and about $58,000.  The independent foundation, funded by taxpayers to the tune of $6 billion in 2008, is tasked with handing out scientific grants to colleges, universities and research institutions nationwide.
The foundation is hardly the only government agency to be embarrassed by disclosures about employees looking at pornography at work.  More from the Washington Times.

September 28, 2009

A good day for an old joke

What goes into thirteen twice?

Dear American Airlines,

Screw you.

I know that there must be some (self-serving) reason why every single-destination round trip flight I have been on in the last two years has departed from Terminal A and arrived in Terminal D.  I am surprised you have not yet built a flippin' Terminal Z, as that would be the only destination that is FARTHER away from the terminal I parked at when I left DFW Airport.

The first, oh, eight times this happened to me, I thought maybe I was on odd flights or some special condition had caused the need for deplaning to occur in a distant terminal.  In fact, I had a little giggle at your expense when returning from San Juan, Puerto Rico.  Since Terminal D is the international terminal, I thought that, perhaps, you had forgotten that Puerto Rico was an American territory and mistakenly routed the flight to the terminal with customs agents standing by.  While Boca Raton, El Paso, Nashville, St Louis and Orlando may seem like exotic foreign destinations, they aren't and do not require arrival at the international terminal.
Judging by the mob of people trying to catch the "Terminal Link" bus to Terminal A after each of these occurrences, you appear to be doing a wholesale screwing to the AA flying public.  I am happy that you could report last night's arrival as "on time".  Since it took most of your customers 75 minutes to get back to their cars, I believe we would label that experience as something other than "on time".

Living in close proximity to DFW Airport, I have a number of friends employed by AA.  They are very nice people, and as I sit here counting them, I realize that they are all either pilots or office hacks.  This is apparently for good reason, as your flight attendants are a bunch of grouchy old hags.  This is, I am sure, a result of years of furloughs and layoffs - only the most tenured and crotchety have survived.  Suffice it to say that they aren't doing you any favors in the customer service department.

And can someone please explain to me how 9/11 is blamed as the event that caused airlines to realize that they can't afford to serve meals anymore?  I just don't get that.  They are still loading meals for the first class folks, as well as the "available for purchase" snack selection and beverage service for the rest of the how is it different now?  Weren't they passing on the cost of the meal to the end consumer to begin with?  The LSG Sky Chef truck is still there for every flight, the food service equipment is still on planes, those crappy meals couldn't have cost that much to mass produce...why can't it still be done, since we were paying for it anyway?  Not that I am dying to have a shitty airplane meal, I am just sick of the excuses.  Yesterday I paid $4 for a 1 inch by 2 inch piece of cheese, four stale crackers, a box of raisins and 16 mixed nuts.  Yes, I counted nuts.

While not your fault, I would like to mention that my flight was made even less enjoyable by being held hostage in my seat.  I am normally an aisle sitter, but my husband is a window kind of guy.  So, when traveling together, I get stuck in the middle.  Most of the time, it is no major issue, we are friendly folk and don't get up and down much, if at all.  Yesterday the aisle sitter, a last minute , reeking-of-body-odor-because-people-of-her-culture-don't-tend-to-bathe-often-standby addition to our flight, proceeded to put her head against the seat in front of her, contorting into some strange yoga-like position and went  into a deep coma-like sleep that she could not be awakened from.  Believe me, I tried.  I needed to get away from that smell.  I thought of stealing the face mask off of the flu-induced-fear-lady across the aisle. People who are incapable of allowing reasonable passage to the other passengers in their row should be banished to window seats, just as children, and "people unable to open the exit doors" are forbidden from sitting in emergency exit rows.

I don't fly American by choice, only when I have to.  I don't mind the cattle herding mentality that Southwest employs, probably because 99.9% of the time, their personnel is FRIENDLY and, oftentimes, downright FUNNY.  That's the lesson to be learned here.  Even if you have to inconvenience people, if you are kind, helpful and entertaining in every other way, the customer will tolerate your crap. 

September 27, 2009

September 25, 2009

Boca Raton

Taken from my hotel balcony this morning.  Not too shabby, and all the more enjoyable since it is on someone else's dime.

Since this is on Mr Harper's company, I get to live it up a little.  We are at the Boca Raton Resort, a Waldorf Astoria Hotel.  They are very particular about adding on the 'Waldorf Astoria' part.   We aren't right on the ocean, the water you see in the picture is the Intracoastal Waterway, with the Atlantic on the other side of the buildings across the lake.

Mr. Harper is in meetings today and part of tomorrow, so I am enjoying the weather and contemplating catching the shuttle over to the beach...

Meanwhile, I was perusing the room service menu and noticed that a bottle of Grey Goose delivered to the room is $150 plus 20% service charge plus $4 delivery fee.  Ouch.  I have searched the room but can't find a price list for the exceptionally well stocked mini bar.  Using my rudimentary math skills, I am guessing that the 50 ml one-shot mini bar bottle must be about one 15th of the the price of the 750 ml bottle, making them $10 each.  No idea what the Bloody Mary mix or Red Bull from the mini bar would set me back to mix with the $10 shot of vodka.  The mini bar assortment includes 9 different liquor selections (2 bottles of each), two wines and a mini bottle of Moet, two domestic and one imported beer (3 cans of each), four fruit juices, two "nutrisodas", Starbucks Frappuccinos, the obligatory selection of soft drinks along with still and sparkling waters and a nice assortment of nuts and candy.  I won't attempt to do the math on the number of possible drink combinations - though it is bolstered by the Monin flavored syrup rep who loaded me up with Mojito syrup samples.  Let's just say that afternoon intoxication is pretty much a sure thing.  I do wish GOC were around to counsel me on which wine goes best with the $8 Snickers bar.

Would be funnier if weren't becoming a reality...

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers. 

"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"We recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

September 24, 2009

What will they *think* of next?

Bullet proof stroller. Asinine product. I think a doll (or democrat) would have been a more appropriate test subject.

September 23, 2009

Cowboys Stadium Fail

Hey Jerry, you should have discussed your stadium technology needs with Mr. Jobs...

As seen on the "ribbon" display screen that circles the interior of Jerryworld:

September 22, 2009

Tuesday Texts 9.22.09

(845): Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk

(604): I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction

(917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
(1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

(205): soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

(706): I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables. 

September 21, 2009

Monday Irony

Yep, that is the swim team bus in a pond.

Meet Bob

Yes, I realize it is un-original, but it's what we are calling our little backyard visitor.  I have been scolded  for chasing it to snap this fuzzy photo.  But, at least now everyone believes me about the bobcat...

September 20, 2009

I will never support your business if you...

Pay someone to stand on a street corner holding your "liquidation sale" sign

Pay someone to wear a degrading costume and/or make them dance along the street

Advertise your business on a Post-It note stuck to the front page of my newsapaer

Advertise on the back cover of the yellow pages

Advertise on the extra quarter-page extension attached to the Sunday comics

Utilize any advertisement affixed to something with that clear sticky glue-like substance

Utilize telemarketing

Come to my door and claim that my neighbor suggested you stop by

Invite me to a 'party' with the express intent of selling me something

Sneak your business flyer into my kid's backpack at school.

September 19, 2009

I'm the cool parent, and would so do this...

Today, I lost my mom in the grocery store. Sick of wandering down the aisles, I just shouted "Mammmaaaaaa!" to which my mom in a different aisle shouted back "just killed a man!" We continued to sing the Bohemian Rhapsody until we found each other. This is why she's the cool parent.

And would make a point of buying something from a salesperson with this sense of humor:

Today, I was in the music section at Barnes and Noble when I noticed their "Soul" section was empty. This amused me, so I turned to a nearby employee and said "It appears you have no soul." Without missing a beat, he replied "Working for a big corporation for years will do that to you." Made my day. 

This just stinks:

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.

From MyLifeIsAverage and FML

September 18, 2009

Man Fax

(843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

Texts from last night

Why my head is about to explode...

I can't explain it, or chance commenting on it, so I am simply reprinting someone else's words.

Excerpted from a September 2, 2009 editorial from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram about my kids' school, emphasis mine:

Students might be expelled if their parents criticize the school board.

...the following parental acts (among others) are forbidden:
False accusations against any member of the Westlake Academy community.

Distribution of material (audio, printed, video) not approved by school authorities.

Forming groups/committees/associations without approval of school authorities.

Any of those acts "will initially result in counseling and if continued may result in expulsion from Westlake Academy"

"Do not criticize. Do not organize any resistance to school board actions, even though its members are elected officials. Oppose us and we’ll throw your kid out of school."

Complete editorial below the fold.

September 17, 2009

Did we expect anything less?

transparency is to Obama's White House
gullible is to us

In other words, we never doubted it. From here.
"The White House is collecting and storing comments and videos placed on its social-networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube without notifying or asking the consent of the site users, a failure that appears to run counter to President Obama's promise of a transparent government and his pledge to protect privacy on the Internet.

(The) proposal issued Aug. 21 calls for a contractor to "crawl and archive" social-networking Web sites where the White House maintains an official presence on seven networks: Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Flickr, YouTube, Vimeo and Slideshare.

The collection will include the comments, tags, graphics, audio and video posted by users who don't work for the White House."

September 16, 2009

Jimmy plays the race card

Jimmy Carter, soon to be "formerly known" as "the worst president ever", opened his gob and upped the race ante, claiming that Joe Wilson's outburst was based on racism.

Anyone remember Carter referring to Obama as a "black boy" on Newshour with Jim Lehrer last year? It's right around the 8 minute mark, don't waste your time listening to the other drivel. Transcript here. Of course, this interview was after Carter jumped on the Obama bandwagon, despite criticizing BHO's lack of experience and qualifications in 2006.

How does this man still merit any press coverage?

If they were, women would rule the world

September 15, 2009

I agree with Obama on one thing...

  • TerryMoran: Pres. Obama just called Kanye West a "jackass" for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THAT'S presidential.
    about 19 hours ago from web · Reply · View Tweet
    How about the journalistic integrity of ABC's Moran, twittering an off the record comment? 

Tuesday Texts

(404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

(360): The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

(843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.

(617): Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.

(225): finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

(604): just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.

(404): I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

September 14, 2009

Stupid Woman

As further proof that the leftist liberal media is promoting the race argument at every turn, NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd, claimed that South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson's outburst at BHO was racially motivated.

Hmmmm. What I, and apparently everyone else in the world except Maureen Dowd, heard was, "You lie."

A true statement, by the way.

Not, "You lie, Oreo/boy/euphemism of your choice."

(Yes I know several much more offensive words, but see no reason to make this about me).
Dowd wrote that Wilson "clearly did not like being lectured and even rebuked by the brainy black president presiding over the majestic chamber."
What I, and anyone else who has seen the clip replayed on the news three thousand times, heard was BHO *claim* that illegal immigrants would not be covered under his health care plan. The current bill says that there will be no coverage, but there is no verification process in the bill that would exclude them. But, that is an argument for another day...

What is even more ridiculous is that the White House Press Secretary, Robert "Don't Pick on Me" Gibbs, responded to questions about Dowd's racism column, saying,
"I don't think the president believes that people are upset because of the color of his skin..."
No shit, Sherlock.

I don't care if the president is pink, he should be qualified to lead our country, and/or talented enough to fake it while surrounded by smart people advising him. This guy has missed it completely. He's a loose cannon surrounded by power hungry dolts who point him in the wrong direction at every turn. His minions have confused confidence with arrogance, forgetting that beneath a confident exterior there should be an intelligent, courageous core emboldened by years of knowledge and experience. Some things you just can't fake. Racism is one of those things, as well. Look close, Maureen. Our anger has nothing to do with his skin color. We don't like him because he is ruining the country we love.

P.S. We don't believe what you write anyway.

September 12, 2009


Is that what we should call it?  Barackcide?  Arkancide Redux?  Vince Fostered? 

Christopher Kelly, a 'key Blagojevich advisor and fund raiser', has died by ASPIRIN OVERDOSE?  GMAFB.

The Associated Press version of the story says Kelly was found 'by family', while other reports say his girlfriend (not his wife) picked him up near a lumberyard and drove him to the hospital as he vomited.  Odd that the AP will sell out over a dying marine's picture but cover up an adulterer's last minutes.

Four days after pleading guilty to his second fraud case this year, Kelly spoke of the increased pressure to cooperate with the feds on the Blago case.  Aspirin overdose, my ass.

Being a faithful GOC reader, I have been trained well and I couldn't help but notice that none of the news stories mentioned the political party of Kelly or Blagojevich.

Obviously NOT the Lance Armstrong version

I usually hate bicycle shorts, but even I would wear these...

September 11, 2009


September 10, 2009

The language debate

There is a state highway and an interstate about a mile in either direction from my house. Last night our local police and fire departments were called to assist in a major accident just outside the town limit. Upon hearing the steady stream of siren-blaring emergency vehicles, I hoped aloud that no one was seriously injured, only to have my heart sink a few minutes later when the CareFlite helicopter flew over. Then I hoped that it was no one I knew. (I guess that last bit sounds a little insensitive, but I am sure you can imagine the number of local lives that are lost to those two highways and the railroad track that runs in between, and the anguish that it causes to our little town of about 3,200 people).

The news this morning is that an 18-year old Hispanic female in a Mustang attempted to pass (in a clearly marked no passing zone) and struck a Mitsubishi Montero head-on. The 18-year old was pronounced dead at the scene and the other driver is in critical condition.

Though it hasn't been mentioned in any of the news reports of the incident, the comments on various local websites have erupted into a debate about language, insinuating that the Hispanic driver couldn't read road signs and did not know the meaning of a solid yellow line.

The Texas Department of Public Safety is required by the state's transportation code to administer the state's driver's license tests in English and Spanish, yet our road signs are printed in English only. A DPS publication about the requirement states:
It is essential that individuals issued a driver license are knowledgeable of traffic laws, rules and traffic control signs as they operate vehicles on the public roadways of this state. A driver who can physically operate a vehicle but is unable to identify and understand traffic laws and highway signs in English places the public’s safety at risk.
I wholeheartedly agree with that statement and, therefore, am having a hard time understanding why we have a Spanish version of the driving test. My only conclusion is that we have become a country of enablers. Can't speak English? Okay, we'll just adapt to your language. Just got back from your home country and only have pesos? Okay, we'll take that for payment. Here illegally and need a document to open a bank account? Okay, we'll allow financial institutions to take the matricula consular card as I.D., despite how it may affect our economy. Don't have a social security number but want to use the Fed's clearing house to wire money back home to Mexico? Okay, we'll set up a system for that.

"Let us say to the immigrant not that we hope he will learn English, but that he has got to learn it. Let the immigrant who does not learn it go back. He has got to consider the interest of the United States or he should not stay here. He must be made to see that his opportunities in this country depend upon his knowing English and observing American standards."

"This is a nation - not a polyglot boarding house. There is not room in the country for any 50-50 American, nor can there be but one loyalty - to the Stars and Stripes."
Theodore Roosevelt

September 9, 2009

Nine - Nine - Oh Nine

Busy today, so thought a musical tribute to the date would be fitting. Thought about Revolution #9, but the Beatles are getting plenty of press today with the Rock Band thing. Thought about some Nine Inch Nails, or Panic at the Disco's 'Nine in the Afternoon'. But, this is in heavy rotation at my house, it entertains the toddler and is really kinda funny:

September 8, 2009

Tuesday Texts

Humorous text messages courtesy of Texts from last night.

705): How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
(1-705): I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.

(661): Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like saying 'Hi, my daughter has an std"

(717):Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
(1-717):That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.

(612): I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I should've known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
(651): again?

(706): the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.

(908): i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less

(619): you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

(716): do you not see the irony in that??

September 7, 2009

Happy Labor Day!

To all that have the day off, enjoy it. To those working today, you have my appreciation. I am not sure how the holiday intended to honor the American blue collar worker morphed into a day where most of them are hard at work serving postal, bank and government employees - who seem to be the only ones that actually get the day off.

September 6, 2009

Michael Moore is an Idiot

An unkempt, fat, benign lump of drooling imbecile.

But I would ask everyone to support his most recent declaration that 'Capitalism is an evil' by NOT seeing his movie.

Poor financial decisions made by individuals are not proof that capitalism is bad - they are proof that some people are just stupid and/or careless with their resources. I would venture to guess that these are the sort of people who see your films and take you at face value. They deserve little more than my pity. You obviously don't understand the basic concepts of capitalism, and I doubt that you have it in you to actually become educated on the subject.

Funny thing, Mr. Moore, without capitalism, your movies wouldn't be seen by anyone, wouldn't make any money, and you would still be living in your mother's basement leaving Cheetos fingerprints on your Mad Magazine.

September 5, 2009

RIP Lance CPL Bernard

And screw the rest of you disrespectful, arrogant, self-serving pieces of crap that dare to thumb your nose at the Secretary of Defense and distribute a photo that dishonors the memory of a Marine who lost his life in battle, while heaping another measure of grief on a family dealing with the loss of their Marine son.

Dismiss the cliche, if it makes you feel better, but this is a young man who lost his life as a result of his dedication to protecting the very freedoms you choose to so callously flaunt.

And you, Greg Mitchell, you can kiss my ass. You don't get to decide what is a 'tasteful and remarkable' tribute to a man you never had the privilege of meeting. Only those who knew and loved him have that right. You speak of 'shameful reluctance' by the media to show graphic images of our wars, yet can only muster up enough cajones to post a below-the-fold link to the picture.

God Bless the Bernard family.

September 4, 2009

When you wish upon a star

Reading this article reminded me of this little gem.

September 3, 2009

No future brown shirt left behind

Shamelessly stolen from here.

Yet another Cash for Clunkers = FAIL

Read this article today and added insurance fraud to the many dismal failures that Oblowhole's C.A.R.S program has provided.

As more people struggle financially, law enforcement officials and insurance investigators are seeing a spike in the torching, burying, sinking and dumping of vehicles by owners trying to get out from under hefty car payments.

Investigators say the people who commit the crimes — called "owner give-ups" — are not your usual suspects.

"Most of them have never been in trouble before, but they lost their job, had a decrease in income or some problem and they can’t afford their vehicle," said Dallas County sheriff’s investigator Tom Reilly, who has handled 115 cases this year and is the only officer in the state devoted strictly to investigating owner give-ups. "They don’t want to ruin their credit."

According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, Texas ranks second in the nation, behind California, for owner give-ups.

Bureau officials report that owner give-ups are up 24 percent from last year, when they received 262 reports during the first quarter, compared with 325 during the same period this year. Likewise, suspicious vehicle fires are up 27 percent, with 757 reported nationwide in the first part of this year.

So now that they have put shiny new cars with 'attractive finance offers' into the hands of people that couldn't afford them otherwise - if at all - how long before the defaults and 'owner give up' numbers reflect that stupidity?

Auto credit market in shambles, check.

Demolish perfectly serviceable used vehicles, check.

Destroying a vital segment of the used car and used parts markets, check.

Decrease car donations to charitable organizations, check.

Increase insurance fraud, check.

...according to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, insurance fraud is the costliest white-collar crime behind tax evasion. And, experts say, everyone pays for it through increased insurance premiums and taxes. The bureau estimates that the average household pays an additional $200 to $300 in insurance premiums every year to offset the cost of fraud.

Screw honest, taxpaying, credit-worthy, financially intelligent folks like me, check.

September 2, 2009

How to catch wild pigs

'You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn.

When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.

The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn.

They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.

This is what is happening to America. The government keeps pushing us toward socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops, welfare, medicine, drugs, etc..

While we continually lose our freedoms -- just a little at a time.'

September 1, 2009

Tuesday Texts

If you haven't hit the link to texts from last night, allow me to explain. This is a website that posts funny texts that readers submit. Some seem to be edited, but they are funny nonetheless. The only identifier is the area code that the message was sent from. It is like the present day version of listening to drunk answering machine messages - you know, the ones you left on someone else's machine and then tried to hatch a plot to break into their house to erase it before they listened to it.
Many, if not most, of the texts are NSFW, so take care if you go there. Here are a few selections for today:

(502): I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

(774): What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling

(353): When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to 'P'. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

(478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

(413): Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

(+31): I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.

(512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

(+44): Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

Here we go.

To blog, or not to blog - oh, what the hell.

I have things to say, links to point to, and I am sure that my blog-brethren are tired of me hijacking their comments, so here we go.

I'm not nearly as humorous, witty or well spoken as those that I read each day, so don't think that I am trying to be. Some of you can turn such an acerbic phrase that you have scared me into lurker-only status. Thus, my own outlet of Internet expression.

A little anonymity is necessary, so play along as necessary.